How It Ends by Catherine Lo (classic books for 13 year olds .TXT) 📕

than a little of my dignity) and went back to Courtney’s table in the cafeteria.

“Well, well, well,” Courtney singsonged when she saw me. “Look who’s back.”

“Isn’t it great?” Annie’s smile was wide.

Courtney nodded her head and crinkled her eyes. “It’s good to have you back,” she told me. I braced myself for the punch line, but she just smiled and went back to her lunch.

What the . . . 

“So now that we have you back with us,” Larissa said, “I can’t wait to hear your ideas for Annie’s birthday party. I’m sure she’s told you all about it, right?”

My heart plummeted.

“Not yet,” I said, with what I hoped sounded like confidence, “but I’m sure she’ll fill me in.”

Annie gave me a look that I couldn’t read. “Will you come?”

I took a deep breath and looked around the table. “Of course I’ll come. And I’d love to help you guys plan.”

Annie squeezed my hand and beamed a smile at me. “Thanks, Jess.”

“So . . .” I said, hoping to smooth things over further. “What are we doing? A sleepover? Should I get movies or snacks?”

Larissa burst out laughing, and Courtney ducked her head to hide her smirk.

“You are so cute,” Larissa said, shaking her head. “We’re having a proper party. At my house, of course. And if you want to bring something, you can bring booze. Otherwise, just bring yourself.”

I tried to catch Annie’s eye. Booze?

“There’s no way I can bring anything,” Annie apologized. “Madge keeps the liquor cabinet locked.”

“What about Sophie?” Larissa asked. “Can you get her to buy us something?”

“Hmmm . . . let me ask her. I can’t make any promises, though. It totally depends on her mood.” Annie rolled her eyes, and they all laughed. The weeks I’d been out of the loop suddenly felt like years.

“What about you, Jess?” Larissa asked, shooting a look at Courtney. “Any older friends who can hook us up?”

I don’t know anyone, of course, but I didn’t want to admit that. “Let me look into it.”

Courtney bit her bottom lip and exchanged a look with Annie. “Don’t worry about it, Jess,” she said gently. “We’ve got it covered.”

Whatever conversation Annie had with Courtney, clearly it had an impact.

I should have felt relieved, and even grateful. But instead I was more than a little insulted. I felt like everyone was being fake and treating me like a kid. I resolved to track down alcohol for Annie’s party if it was the last thing I did. I wanted to earn Courtney’s respect, not have her feel sorry for me.

Annie

I rush into my bathroom, tripping over the clothes spilling out of my hamper and banging my knee against the vanity. Shit! I’m running stupidly late this morning.

I snatch up my toothbrush and scrub my teeth as quickly as possible, calculating how late I’ll be for first period. Detention late? Or just lecture late?

One look in the mirror confirms that it will definitely be detention late. I look like death. It took me forever to fall asleep last night, and it shows on my face. My cheeks are sickly pale, and there are dark circles under my eyes.

Concealer. Need concealer.

I shuffle through the bottles and tubes littering the countertop but come up empty-handed. What the hell?

I wrench open the drawer, nearly yanking it right out of the vanity. It’s got to be here somewhere. I empty the contents of the drawer onto the countertop—brushes, mascara, Band-Aids, tampons . . . I’ve got everything in here except concealer.

That’s when I remember—the makeup kit Madge gave me for Christmas. It’s still sitting, untouched, on my dresser. I skid into my room and pop it open, and there it is—concealer! Thank God.

Back in my bathroom, I’m dabbing it under my eyes when a horrible feeling creeps up my spine. I look at the countertop where I tossed the tampons out of my drawer. When was the last time . . .

The room goes hazy.

Think.

Were Jess and I speaking then? Did I have it on spring break? Was it before or after the history assignment was due?

I have absolutely no idea. It could have been last month or three months ago for all I can remember.

As stupid as this sounds, I’ve never kept track of when my period comes. I can always tell when it’s on its way, since I start getting cramps and feeling gross, so I just wait for the signs and make sure I’m prepared. I stumble over to the bathtub and sit on the edge, taking deep breaths and trying to sense some sign that my period is coming, but there’s nothing. Not even a twinge.

Fucking hell. I can’t be—can I?

I get up, smooth out the concealer under my eyes, and head into my room for my bag. My first class is a write-off. I check the clock on my nightstand and make a decision. I’m headed to the pharmacy and then to find Jess.

She’s the only person I trust with this. The only person who understands having a secret you can’t tell anyone else.

Jessie

Do you ever have days when you swear you’re dreaming? When reality is so ephemeral . . . so slippery . . . that your mind skates along the edge of disbelief?

That was my day today.

Annie herself is like a dream. One minute I think I have her figured out, and the next she morphs into someone new.

Every time I get comfortable—every time I relax into our friendship—it takes a dizzying new turn. Today was the most dizzying turn of all.

Annie texted me before school this morning to say she was running late and that I should go on without her. I walked to school alone, worrying over her having ditched me so close to us making up from our fight.

By the time first period was over, I’d convinced myself that she had reconsidered our friendship. So when I spotted her scanning the crowd in the hallway, it didn’t even register that she might be looking for me.

As soon as she saw me, though, relief spread across