Fulfillment by Golland, M. (best large ebook reader .txt) 📕

if we wanted. Iremembered the counsellor having mentioned this the day after mysurgery, but at that time I could not even consider the notion.Now, I kind of liked the idea. It seemed sort of nice— a placewhere other baby angels were, a place where our baby could rest inpeace.

***

Mum and Jenvisited again before heading home. When Bryce had stepped out totake an important phone call, Mum explained that he had arrangedfor Chelsea to fly to Shepparton to pick both her and Jen up notlong after the accident occurred. She also said that Chelsea wasflying them back later that afternoon—I didn’t know what to thinkof that.

The kids werestill with Dad at the farm, and both Nate and Charli were none thewiser about my fall. I wanted it to remain that way, at least forthe time being. I had no idea how I was going to explain to mychildren that the baby we had just told them about—the baby theywere excited about, the baby that we had all grown to love—was nowgone. How was I going to explain that?

I spoke tothem briefly on the phone, telling them I missed them and lovedthem and could not wait to see them both. I told them I was boredbut also busily working. I hated lying to my children, but I’d hadto. I’d had to pretend I was good and not in any casehospitalised—Nate would have panicked.

***

My orthopaedicsurgeon also paid me a visit that day, explaining that he had fixedtwo screws and a plate to my fibula and that the cast which reachedto me knee would more than likely be on for a couple of weeks theneventually replaced with a moon boot cast. After that, I would berequired to undergo physiotherapy rehabilitation and walk around oncrutches for another five to seven weeks. Just the thought of ithad me depressed and worried. So much had happened to me and it wasall just a bit overwhelming.

***

Day 4, aftersurgery

By the fourthday, my brain and physical self were once again starting to work inunison with each other. I was finally able to get out of bed tohave a shower, which I was relieved about but also silentlydreading. Bryce, being Bryce, helped me every step of the way.

“Here, take aseat.” He guided me to the plastic chair where I sat down. Iwatched him strip down, and like always, I admired the view. I was,however, in no mood for anything intimate, nor would I be for sometime—I still admired the view though.

“Now, thenurse gave me this cast protector to put over your leg so that youdon’t get it wet.”

He held outthe big plastic cover, bent down and started to put it over my leg.He was so cautious and gentle, it really was adorable. I stood upwith his help, balancing on one leg.

“You okay?” heasked as steadied me carefully.

“Yeah, I’vehad worse pain.”

He brought myhand to his lips. “I’m sure you have, but if you are in pain, youneed to say so. They can give you more medication for it.”

He reachedbehind me and untied my backless hospital robe then gently pulledit away.

“I know, butreally, I’m fine. The pain is sort of a welcome reminder.”

He placed hishands on my shoulders and gazed into my eyes with a look of worry,possibly searching for that slight bit of crazy my last responsekind of warranted. He must not have found it, because hesurrendered his search and turned to get the shower ready.

As I stoodthere on one leg, braced against the wall while he adjusted thewater temperature, I looked down at my leg and snickered.

“Are youlaughing?” he asked, astonished.

I giggled thistime. “Yeah, I think I am.”

He stepped upto me and wrapped one arm around my waist, pressing me to his bareskin and lifting me only slightly with ease. Regardless of thetrauma I had just recently experienced, my body reacted to his justlike it always had. My nipples hardened and that electric tingle hecharged me with was also present.

He slowlystepped backward with me still attached to his front, stepping usover to the water and holding me tightly as it cascaded aroundus.

“Why are youlaughing?” he asked softly.

“I have arather large leg condom on,” I replied.

He looked downto inspect my cast cover then looked back up at me, a smirk on hisface. The smirk quickly turned into an outburst. “Yes, you do. Butfuck, you look hot in a leg condom.”

I laughed backat him and it felt good. Good to be naked in his supporting armsand laughing with him again. It gave me hope.

I dropped myhead to his chest and subdued my laugh to a soft giggle. He kissedthe top of my head. “We will get through this, you know. And if youwant to—and there is no pressure—we can try again.”

I tilted myhead and looked into his eyes. I could see he meant no pressure,but at the same time, I could see that he desperately hoped I wouldwant to try again. Do I want to try again? Oh, God. I don’tknow. I don’t know if I can.

“We don’t haveto discuss this now. I just wanted you to know that, okay?”

I couldn’tgive him an answer, not yet anyway. I nodded and cuddled into himagain.

He positionedme against the wall, where I held onto the arm supports. “Okay, mylove, let’s get you clean.”

I think I fellin love with him all over again as I watched him wash me slowly,kissing me and telling me how much he loved me and could not livewithout me. I knew then that I would eventually try again. For him,I would do anything.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

On the fifthand final day in hospital, Bryce wheeled me down to the Garden ofAngels in a wheelchair so that we could scatter our baby’s ashes.The garden was beautiful, with an array of different colouredflowers and little handmade wooden signs with words of prayers andlove. It really was a magical place that was both sombre andheart-warming at the same time.

The weatherwas mild with a very calm breeze, perfect for what Bryce and I wereabout to do. We knew we had to do it, but allowing our baby