Tequila Rose by Willow Winters (pdf e book reader TXT) 📕

it was all leading to, and it’s only then that Brody touches me. His large hand settles down on my thigh, half resting on the edge of my cotton nightgown and half on my bare skin. I’m grateful for the small bit of mercy and I’m quick to put my left hand over his. My right is busy brushing away the tears.

“Is she mine?”

“I don’t know.  If I knew for sure, I’d tell you—but I don’t …” A long moment passes of quiet and I pull my hand away, in case he wants his own back. “It doesn’t matter because I’m not asking for anything if she is. I don’t want to put that pressure on you.”

His response comes with an edge when he says, “I have a right to know.”

“I know,” I say and my voice is just as defensive. “I know you do. But I thought I would never see you again.” I swallow down the next words that beg to tumble out. The ones that explain how I prayed and wished on every star that he would come to my rescue years ago. Like how little girls wish for their Prince Charming to take care of all their problems. I hoped that he would magically find me. I could tell him everything and that he would love me at a time in my life when so many people hated me. That he would see I was pregnant and that he’d want to know and help me through it all. But all the prayers and wishes were only words whispered at night that sometimes helped me sleep. Come every morning, I was alone. Robert was there too, sometimes. But Brody? I learned to accept I would never see him again.

I settle on a simple truth when he pulls his hand away. “I wanted to tell you for months, but you weren’t there to tell. So I just … I just learned to accept that it was never going to happen. Years later, you show up out of nowhere and expect me to be able to tell you. I don’t think you understand everything that it comes with. It’s not so simple, Brody.” I don’t realize that I have officially lost it, the tears streaming and my nose running until I sniffle and recognize that I need a tissue.

I’m only vaguely aware that Brody stands up with me, his hand gracing the small of my back for a fraction of a second as I hurry inside. I leave the door open for him and from the hall half bath, I know he shut the door from the thud that echoes back here.

Bracing a hand on the counter on each side of the sink, I gather my courage, not knowing if he came inside or simply left.

I don’t know which would be easier to take right now, because all I feel like doing is sagging into my bed and letting all of this out. Just to get it over with and move on.

With a gentle knock, the bathroom door creaks open and Brody stands behind me in the mirror. “You all right?” he asks and my shoulders hunch, my hands cover my face and I can only shake my head no.

I give myself a full second, maybe two, before reaching for the tissue box again only to find it empty and relying on toilet paper in its place. “I just need a moment and I’ll tell you everything.” My reddened eyes stare at his in the mirror as I say, “I promise. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I just need a moment.”

Brody

“I keep telling myself, there’s no way for you to know what I’m feeling right now and what I went through.” Magnolia’s face crumples as she adds in a strained voice, “But I wish you could. I wish you knew what this felt like and how much I wish everything was different. I’ve wished it for years.

“I never wanted to keep anything from you. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just hurting myself and it kept me …” Her gaze drifts to the hallway every time her voice raises slightly. I don’t miss it. Her little girl, possibly my little girl, is tucked away sleeping.

My hands are raised as I go to her, the distance disappearing as I wrap my arms around her small frame. She sags against my chest although she doesn’t let her face touch my shirt. Instead her forearms are braced there.

I imagined this scene for hours before I came, ever since Griffin told me. He said he figured she was Robert’s until the rumor mill started up and there were whispers that it was some guy she hooked up with in college who’d knocked her up.

For all I know, that little girl could be Robert’s, my child, or someone else’s. But she should have told me if there was even a chance that she was mine.

That’s all I was thinking on the drive down here.

I didn’t know I’d feel like this. I didn’t know she’d break down like she is. “I don’t want you to be upset,” I whisper in her hair, rocking her slightly and running my hand up and down her back.

Magnolia doesn’t say anything, but she does try to pull away and I don’t want her to. I don’t know a lot of things right now, but I know when she backs away and heads to the bathroom, I wish she didn’t. I wish she’d lay her head against me and let her tears land wherever they land; I’d still hold her.

With nothing in my arms and feeling a weight on my chest, I plant myself down