Haze by Andrea Wolfe (best motivational books for students txt) 📕

"I guess you're right." I smiled back, even though it was a struggle at first. The physical act of smiling actually made me feel better. "You sure look nice. Where are you headed?"

He gave me a proud smile that seemed to illuminate the whole block. "Well, young lady, I've got a date. She's a real looker. Never thought I'd go on a first date again, but I'm a widower at seventy-five and ready to start fresh." After hearing his words, I expected a look of sadness, an outward expression of regret and misery. It didn't come. He was unfazed by the past, by his past.

I gulped, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid about my own woes. A widower at seventy-five. I couldn't even fathom what he had probably been through. But did I actually need to? "That's great," I said. "She'll be really impressed when she sees you."

"She'd better be!" He hobbled down the rest of the stairs and then turned to face me once he got on the sidewalk. "You have a nice night, ma'am, okay?"

"Thanks. You too!"

"And go change your clothes before you catch a cold." He started walking away, his potent laugh echoing through the evening like a banshee's.

Worried that the ice cream was melting, I stood up and walked inside, empowered by the random meeting on the steps. Had I just gone straight up to the apartment, I never would have had the conversation.

***

When I got inside, Jesse looked like death. He might have actually looked worse than I did.

"Christ, Effie! I was so worried about you. What the hell happened? I called you like a hundred times! You were here and then you just—"

I was feeling better on my walk up the stairs after the old man, but seeing Jesse made the sobs return. "I went to get the ice cream and then the storm and the seventy-five year old guy and I just can't—"

"Shh," he said reassuringly. "It's okay now." He hugged me and then helped me onto the couch. Even if he didn't actually give a damn, I couldn't help but think that he genuinely did. Jesse left the room and then came back with a towel that I eagerly accepted from him and used to dry my hair. I was shivering cold.

"I think I made a mistake with Jack," I cried. "It was stupid. He's probably out with some other girl and I hate myself for doing this and it's only been like two hours."

"Effie, you've got to calm down. No decision is ever easy." He smiled. "The alcohol is making it worse—I guarantee it. And Jack's probably doing work, not sleeping around. You told him it was a break, not a break-up. That implies it will resume."

He was right, of course. It was just a series of stupid coincidences, one after another until my threshold was exceeded and I withered away to nothing. "Yeah." I buried my head in my hands and sighed.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

"A glass of water would be nice."

Jesse nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. I heard him getting out a glass from the cupboard and running the sink.

"I got you ice cream in the bag! I hope it didn't all melt."

He returned and handed me the glass. In his other hand was the ice cream bag and two spoons. "I noticed that. Phish Food, huh? My favorite."

I started laughing uncontrollably. I don't know where the giggles came from, but they had arrived with a vengeance and I stopped caring.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I don't know. Give me one of those spoons." I took a big gulp of the water and set it down on the table next to the couch. He tossed me the utensil and I missed. It landed on my lap.

"Nice catch," Jesse said. He ripped the plastic and the top off the ice cream and took a bite. "God, this is so good. It never gets old."

I tore into mine as well and filled my mouth with sweet, sugary bliss. It was exactly what I needed and calmed me damn near instantly. "People should eat ice cream instead of taking anti-depressants," I said.

"I think you're right."

We ate in silence for a few minutes, enjoying every bite as much as the one that came before it. I had forgotten the world, forgotten my troubles, let them go as if they were things that just didn't matter anymore, diurnal distractions that were fading away into the night.

Jesse interrupted the silence, his voice full of concern. "Hey, Effie, you said something about an old man. What the hell were you talking about?"

I started laughing again and told him the story.

"Oh, that was Bill! He's a nice guy. I didn't know that about him."

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"Just greetings and goodbyes." A look of fascination broke out on his face. "Shit, I don't know if I could start over again like that. Props to him for having the guts."

"Is being alone better?" I asked.

Jesse paused and then looked at me quizzically. "I don't think there's any good reason for either of us to be talking like this."

Even before he finished his sentence, I was already on a new subject. "Oh yeah, and Sam was outside in the street too!"

"Sam? What was he doing there?"

"Meeting someone at a restaurant. He looked surprised to see me. I bet he got caught in the storm too. He deserved it after being mean to me."

Jesse raised an eyebrow curiously. "That's weird. Wouldn't have expected to hear that on top of everything else that went down tonight. You probably packed more excitement into ten minutes that most people have in years."

"I guess I did," I admitted quietly.

***

Jesse actually stayed out in the living room with me most of the night, probably fully aware that I didn't want to be left alone. He didn't have to do it, nor did I ask it of him. I couldn't even express how much it meant to me, and so tonight,