The Agreement (Darkest Lies Trilogy Book 1) by Bethany-Kris (motivational books for men .TXT) 📕

she had stepped away, though, Masha was quick to slip another pill into Karine’s hand with a knowing glance—this will help things go faster. The pills usually did, so she was happy to take it.

Karine felt limbless without Masha there. Even if she did keep clutching at the small pill, shaped like a bar inside her palm, like it was a lifeline that might save her. What if she needed more? What if she started having those bad thoughts, or couldn’t stop the trembling in her hands?

She didn't know how to do this—any of it.

Being normal, that was.

Or rather, pretending like she was.

Instead, she kept her head down and tried to focus on the pattern printed on the table cloth. There were mostly only men around her, all speaking in loud voices that made her want to shrink away. She was so physically close to her father for once, whom she wished would look at her or address her directly instead of talking about her to the room, that she could smell his cologne. Dima sat on her other side, smoking heavily. The smoke from his cigarette had her stomach rolling all over again, but she stayed quiet in her seat. Just his presence was enough to make her gag.

And yet, here you sit.

Her mind was a horrible place. One she lived inside more than anyone knew. A prison she couldn’t escape, but not one of her own making.

The celebrations continued without much of her involvement or interest, and she passed through it all in a daze. It was the only way she could get through it. Without focusing on one particular voice or conversation, drawing in on herself and fading back against the rest of the people in the room ... being present but silent.

She just hoped it would all glide through her, as most everything else in her life did, and then she could wake up in bed tomorrow morning. Maybe it would all turn out to be a bad dream.

The filled up shot glasses with vodka, spilling everywhere on the table in their raucous haste. Some of it even dribbled onto her dress, but she didn’t care or even bother to clean up the spreading wet stain on her dress

A loud celebratory roar rang out around her, causing Karine to instinctively look up and seek out the need for all the noise. The others facing her across the table held up their glasses in a toast.

At her side, Maxim grinned. For a moment, Karine’s heart dared to beat faster—lighter—but in the next, she felt a tug drawing her attention away. Right back to the man at her other side.

Dima, that was.

He had pulled on her to slip the ring on her finger. Large and glittery under the light, it took up her sole focus, draining color from her cheeks and making her stomach drop to her feet in an instant.

Karine chewed on the inside of her cheek, desperate to stop herself from screaming. Cold and heavy on her finger, the ring added the same weight and iciness to her heart. This was happening. The engagement was actually happening, and she had yet to come to terms with it.

Not that it made a difference now.

There it was.

On her finger.

Real.

That ring was a shackle being fixed around her very person. She was officially a prisoner to a man she had never chosen for herself. One without any escape.

Now that the ring was on, the whispers of her engagement to Dima was official along with the announcement—it seemed like the rest of the people around her didn’t care anymore. The party was back in full swing, more drinks were poured until glasses overflowed and expensive vodka was drained from its bottles. They no longer cared to pay lip service to the girl in the pretty dress sitting with the men who had all of the guests’ attention.

She was forgotten.

Again.

Karine simply hoped that meant she would be left alone for the rest of the evening, too. After all, she had done her part. Showed up. Stayed calm—pleasant. She thought she might have even smiled for the watching guests, but did it really matter?

What more did they want?

Apparently, nothing.

Fine.

Slowly, Karine stood from her chair. Nobody noticed, even though she was sitting right between the two most important men at the table.

Karine couldn’t see Masha anywhere. All she knew was that she needed to be outside, away from this—far from these people who made her feel like a circus act one minute, and then meaningless in the next. She wanted to hide somewhere alone where nobody would find her.

Even if only for a minute. Maybe then, she could breathe.

Somehow, Karine doubted it.

• • •

Karine stumbled out into the alleyway in the dark of night with a shaky inhale of icy rain that chilled her down to the bone. She didn’t think she would make it this far without being stopped or caught by somebody from the bratva. Behind her, the emergency exit door of the restaurant swung shut and finally, she heard nothing but the soft drizzle of rain falling on the loose gravel by her feet.

And those deep breaths of hers.

One after another.

She’d been right.

Breathing was easier like this.

Despite it being the first week of August, the rain was cold in the warm air, making the droplets warm on her bare arms. It at least made the temperature bearable, even if she did barely consider it before coming out.

It was another thing that didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things. Like how her dress was going to be soaked, her makeup smudged and ruined by the drizzle from above. What would her father say? What would Dima do if he saw her like that?

Who cared?

She should.

She should care.

God.

Karine wished she did.

The heaviness of that ring on her finger hadn’t left. She opened her mouth to suck in more big gulps of fresh air, hoping it would calm her. Except the effects of the pills were fading, and fast. She wasn’t