Him by Carey Heywood (reading strategies book .txt) 📕

"I didn’t think. I just had to get out of there."

"Why didn’t you say something to me. I would have proved to you it wasn’t true, whatever she said."

"I just never could believe you would want someone like me more than someone like her," I admit, looking down.

After a few moments, when he hasn’t said anything, I look up at him. His head is in his hands. I reach out to touch his hand, and his hand grips mine. He lifts his head and meets my eyes, his expression tortured.

"Will?" I ask.

"I thought you knew how much I loved you." He shakes his head. "How could you not know?"

I go to tug my hand from his, but his grip only tightens. "I didn't. I couldn't. You were the most popular guy in school. Every girl loved you. I still don’t—"

"Stop." he holds up his hand. "Don’t even go there. I didn’t care about all of the stupid high school shit, and you knew that. You knew me. When I couldn’t find you, I've never been more scared in my whole life. I must have called your phone a hundred times before I figured out it was in my car. I finally called Brian, and he told me you came home crying. I almost drove over right then, but he told me to let you sleep and that we could talk in the morning. Bravo took my keys and wouldn’t let me drive anywhere until the next morning because I was so freaked out. And then when I got to your house you were gone."

I never knew where my phone had ended up that night. I had my purse on me and had left everything else behind. I had held back tears the drive back and pretended to be asleep when Christie or her friend talked to me. Once I was home, I cried myself to sleep. I knew Brian heard me come in and that he heard me crying. I remember him standing on the other side of my bedroom door, asking me to let him in. He finally gave up and left me alone, and I cried myself to sleep.

The ballroom door opens, filling the hallway with music. I look up to see my uncle Chip walking out of the ballroom and over to us "You kids okay?"

I nod. Will just keeps looking down.

He looks at Will. "Are you sure?"

"We're just talking." I look back at Will. "It's okay."

Chip heads back into the ballroom, the hall filling once again with music until the door shuts.

I had turned my head to watched Chip leave. When I look back at Will, his eyes are on me, their expression weary.

"Seven years, Sarah. Did we really lose seven years because of a text?"

I hesitate and then shake my head.

"Then why?"

My insecurity over Will's feelings for me are the reason I left the lake house that night after Jessica talked to me, but that wasn't the whole reason I left.

The hall fills with music again when someone walks into the hall, in search of a restroom most likely. I look at Will. "Can we talk outside?"

He nods and stands, still holding my hand. We make our way to the front entrance, then follow a stone path along the left side of the building to a covered patio. There are ceiling fans slowly creating a slight breeze and black wrought iron tables and chairs. It's June. In Atlanta, the shade is welcome, but it’s still humid. Will releases my hand and shrugs off his jacket, resting it over the back of a chair before pulling another chair out for me to sit in.

I'm nervous. I'm not sure I can actually tell him what happened. "I need to walk around if that's okay. You can sit. I just can't right this second."

He lowers himself into his chair.

I pace back and forth, nervously in front of him, jumping when he shouts, "Sarah, just tell me."

I quickly nod, thinking back to that morning

Chapter 20

Past

I wake up feeling like shit. My head is pounding from all of the crying I had done the night before. Plus, I cannot stop thinking about Jessica and that text. Part of me doesn’t want to believe, can’t believe it. Will had told me he loved me. I want to trust him. I want there to be some way to explain what was on her phone. I go to the bathroom to wash my face. Looking in the mirror is not helpful in that moment. I am a red splotchy mess. What guy would ever want to be with me when they could be with Jessica Burton?

That and the fact that she’ll not only be going to Italy but college with him in the fall is killing me. I should probably end things with him. That would be the safest thing to do. Break up with him before he breaks up with me. God, what if the entire thing had been some sick joke. Where he makes me think he loves me, and then he gets back together with Jessica. I have no idea if any of this has actually happened. It just seems to be the most likely worst case scenario that keeps playing through my mind.

There is a part of me that rebels against the idea, that remembers Will asked me to go away to school with him. Maybe he does care for me, even love me, and all I’m doing is overreacting to something he has no part of. Can’t I trust him? He had been my best friend for so long. I don’t really think he would ever do anything to hurt me.

I spend the next half hour trying to figure out where my phone is so I can call him. It isn't in my purse, and I start to suspect I may have lost it somewhere at the party. One downfall of cell phones is not knowing anyone's number by heart. I cannot remember Will's number