A Sprinkle of Sabotage by Fiona Leitch (famous ebook reader TXT) 📕

I added silently. I went to the bar and rang the bell – it was the middle of the afternoon and there was no one around – and waited for the bartender to show. His smile faltered somewhat when he saw Kimi sitting at the table, but he was a professional and it was back before I’d even had time to properly register it was gone.

‘What can I get you?’

‘Could I have a cup of tea, please?’ I asked. I hadn’t realised it before but I was gasping for one. ‘And something called a ‘Deep Sea’ for Miss Takahashi, whatever that is.’

‘Of course,’ said the bartender with a smile. ‘I’ll bring it over. That’s £18.50, please.’

£18.50? For two drinks? Kimi must have ordered a champagne cocktail or something. At this time of day, with her being a social media healthy-eating guru as well. ‘Charge it to Miss Takahashi’s room,’ I said brightly, and he winked.

‘Right you are.’

I joined Kimi, who was fussing over a speck of imaginary dirt at the corner of Princess’s eye. She needs to have a baby, I thought sardonically, as Germaine settled herself across my feet with a loud, echoey, and unapologetically pungent fart. Daisy had gone through a phase when she was a toddler of getting into my pot plants – and I mean, literally getting into my pot plants – and of rolling around the muddiest reaches of her grandparents’ back gardens. I’d soon learnt that 1) dirt washes off, and 2) there’s no point washing it off until bedtime, because the little darling will undoubtedly be covered in mud again the next time you turn around. Becoming a parent really gives you a much more relaxed idea of what number of stains on an item of clothing is socially acceptable (clue: it’s more than you’d think), and exactly how dirty your child needs to get before you really have to change their outfit.

‘She’s a lovely dog,’ I said, more to get on Kimi’s good side than because I actually thought that, because to tell you the truth, the dog had a definite look of drowned rat about her. But it worked because Kimi graced me with a smile and her whole face changed. She really was beautiful. I definitely had to keep her away from Nathan…

‘She’s a pedigree,’ said Kimi. ‘She’s very sensitive to the emotions and atmosphere around her. She can sense when I’m upset or worried.’

‘Yes, that’s why dogs make such great companions,’ I said, as my own loyal, sensitive companion let rip with another one. Kimi’s perfect nose wrinkled. I ignored both the noise and the smell. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to see how everyone is today. I heard about your sister being quite sick in the night.’

‘Uh-huh,’ said Kimi, although she didn’t look or sound terribly sympathetic. ‘At least she had Zack to take care of her.’ Her disapproving expression told me everything I needed to know about her feelings on that relationship.

‘Yes, it’s quite sweet really,’ I said. ‘He obviously really likes her.’

She sniffed. ‘Does he? I don’t know. Too many times, men have used my sister to get to me.’

I think you’re deluded, love, I thought, but I just smiled. ‘I’m sure that’s been true in the past, but Zack strikes me as completely sincere. Anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I really wanted to know if you were taken ill at any point last night?’

She shook her head firmly. ‘No, I wasn’t. I have a very strong constitution. I don’t know if you follow me on Instagram…’ I diplomatically didn’t say anything, because of course I didn’t flipping follow her on Instagram. ‘I’ve talked extensively about the importance of clean, healthy eating. I follow a plant-based diet. I just can’t eat anything that has a face.’

Bacon doesn’t have a face, I thought stubbornly. Nor do sausages. Or cheeseburgers.

‘A vegetarian or vegan diet is definitely healthier than eating a lot of red meat,’ I agreed. ‘But there are some things I couldn’t give up. Like fish. Gino said you do occasionally allow yourself a piece of fish—’

‘If it’s sustainably sourced, yes,’ she interrupted. ‘Wild rather than farmed, line-caught, dolphin-friendly…’

The bartender came over with a tray. He placed a pretty china tea pot, milk jug, and cup in front of me, and a glass of water in front of Kimi.

‘Your tea, madam, and your Deep Sea, miss.’

‘Hold on, what’s that?’ I asked the bartender, but Kimi waved him away. I turned to her. ‘No, I think he’s made a mistake. He’s given you a glass of water.’

‘Yes, Deep Sea water.’

‘But he charged me eighteen quid for this round!’ I said, staggered – though of course I hadn’t actually paid for it; the movie company would. ‘What the heck is Deep Sea water?’

She looked at me like I was mad. ‘It’s deep sea water. The name, like, literally tells you what it is. It’s sourced from three thousand feet below the surface, from a remote archipelago off the coast of Hawaii. It’s full of minerals and electrolytes. I asked the hotel to ship it over from the States specially for me. It’s the only water I drink.’

‘But that glass must have cost about fifteen quid…’ I said weakly.

‘What price sustainability and the natural goodness of the sea?’ she said piously, but of course it was easy for her to say that when the production company would be footing the bill. Not to mention paying for it to be flown in a terribly environmentally unfriendly fashion all the way across the Atlantic to Cornwall.

‘But sea water… Isn’t it salty?’

She looked at me like not only was I mad, but I was also wearing a straightjacket and dribbling onto my chin. ‘Of course it isn’t. It’s been desalinated. It’s the cleanest, smoothest, crispest-tasting water in the world.’

‘Oh right… Can I have a sip?’

‘No.’

Germaine lifted her tail and gave us her opinion on the world’s cleanest, smoothest, most ridiculously expensive water, and I had to admit I