Baby Bundt Cake Confusion (Murder in the Mix Book 31) by Unknown (best way to read books .TXT) 📕

time for the under three crowd and my mother-in-law is bringing Josie.” She sings her sweet baby girl’s name when she says it. “And if we don’t get a move on, your baby just might show up for the event, too.”

“What’s happening, girls?” Carlotta leans in, looking a touch too morbidly interested. “Are we laying Lot out on one of the tables and doing some baby come quickly ritual using lamb’s blood and hyssop?”

“What?” Lainey squawks. “No. We’re doing her maternity photoshoot. Lottie, you’re going to want to remember how beautiful your body looked during the final hours of having your little peanut taking up residence in your womb.”

Keelie nods. “And afterwards, we can take a cast of your belly and you can hang it up in your bedroom like I did. Bear hits his head on it every morning, but he says it’s worth a bump or two.”

“I’ll pass on the cast,” I say. “And I’m huge. I hardly want to remember the time I turned into a hot air balloon.”

“We’re not taking no for an answer!” Keelie hustles me to my thimble of an office and helps me into the white gauzy gown and nothing else. And as she navigates me back to the front of the bakery, I can feel a chilly breeze touching down where chilly breezes shouldn’t be allowed.

“Thanks, Keels,” I say. “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to prance through my bakery without a bra or underwear or even shoes. You do realize I’m breaking that whole no shirt, no shoes, no service rule, right?” I hold up a bare foot for her to see.

Both Carlotta and Lainey coo at the sight of me.

Lainey gives a hard sniff. “You look like an angel.”

“You look like a ghost,” Carlotta is quick to correct. “Speaking of which, you should think of updating your will before you blow out your bottom half.”

Lainey smacks her. “Ignore her.”

“I always do.” Although I hadn’t thought about anything going wrong. “I’m not really going to blow out my bottom half, am I?”

Keelie, Lainey, and Carlotta are suddenly a touch too quiet.

Lil’ Mama chortles. “Don’t let them scare you, Lottie. Once your pup is ready to make its debut, you’ll simply roll over and it will fall right out of you. You’ll lick it clean, and before you know it, its tiny teeth will be suckling away on your teat while you nap. It’s actually quite a blissful experience.”

Keelie rolls her eyes. “Who cares if you blow out your bottom half? Your body will magically be put back together about six weeks after you have the baby.”

“Six weeks?” I blink hard. “It’ll be May by then.”

Lainey nods. “And they’ll clear you to drive just in time for your very first Mother’s Day.”

“Drive?” My jaw goes slack. “You mean they’re going to take away my driver’s license?”

“Nobody is taking anything away, Lot,” Carlotta says with a bit of ferocity to her tone. “I drove myself right out of town just a few hours after you blew out my bottom half.”

Both Keelie and Lainey cringe at the thought.

“You’ll want to rest and bond with your baby,” Lainey assures me.

“And eat some fried chicken from Hennifer’s,” Keelie adds. “Bear and I have already been back twice.”

“Well, if we don’t take these pictures soon, I’ll have to leave now to pick up a bucket myself,” I say. “My appetite isn’t slowing down in the least. Let’s just say, during my last prenatal checkup, Dr. Barnette told me that my weight gain has been impressive. And she didn’t mean it as a compliment.”

Lainey chortles. “You eat whatever you want, Lot. Once you push out that baby, all the fun stops and the real work begins. It’s back to salads and dreading the scale.”

“I don’t care about the scale anymore,” I say. “After the fire, it was the one thing I never replaced. And I don’t have any plans to do so either.”

“That’s my Lottie.” Keelie pats me on the back. “Good thing all of your jeans burned to ashes. Finding out your favorite jeans don’t move past your knees is worse than stepping on the scale.”

Lainey shrugs. “I wore my maternity clothes for five months after I had Josie.”

“You did?” I’m suddenly alarmed by the prospect. I’ll admit, I had a vision of popping right back into shape as soon as my sugar cookie made its debut.

Keelie offers a commiserating smile. “For three months after I had little Bear, people kept asking when my baby was due. They don’t tell you that you keep your belly long after you’ve evicted its occupant.”

“I’m keeping this thing?” I ask, horrified by the prospect.

Carlotta yucks it up as if it were the funniest thing in the world. “Of course, you’re keeping it. I kept mine for years.” She gives her belly a pat before getting a far-off look in her eye. “But don’t let that big belly fool you into thinking you can’t get knocked up again. Once that sugar booger pops out, another little booger can take its place.”

“She’s right.” Lainey gives a frenetic nod. “A friend of mine had back-to-back kids. They call that reproductive stunt Irish twins. She walks around with dark circles and mumbling to herself most of the time, but other than that, she says it’s great. She also says she’s sewing herself shut as a preventative measure.”

“Lovely,” I say.

“Let’s get started.” Keelie removes the lens cap from her camera. “The lighting is perfect in here, but I want you to stand by the window and we’ll capture your silhouette.”

“I got an idea.” Carlotta’s eyes shine as she says it, and already I can tell I’m going to veto it. “Why don’t we get Sexy over here and they can reenact a scene or two from how they got in this predicament to begin with?”

“No.” I swipe at her.

“Yes!” Lainey beams. “Of course, not the reenactment part, but he should definitely be in a few shots. In fact, we should get Noah here,