A Starlit Summer by Kate Frost (best manga ereader txt) 📕

‘He’s disillusioned by the business, huh?’

‘Just a bit.’

‘Well, he has a point. And I can see it now, “The Love Hotel starring Jenna Wilson”. It’s money, it’s fame – well notoriety at least – it depends on what you want.’

‘I don’t want my words or actions twisted. I don’t want to be manipulated. I’m an actor for a reason; I like hiding behind a character. It’s my safety net not actually having to be me.’

‘You could always create a persona. Play a version of you.’

‘It’s reality TV, not fiction.’

‘It’s all bloody fiction, Jenna. All of it.’

‘Maybe you’re right.’

‘You don’t have to decide about it yet, do you?’

‘No, by next week; they’re beginning casting then.’

‘And they’re giving you a place without an audition or anything. They just want you?’

‘They just want me because they think I’ve screwed Milo Blake.’

~

It was only the third time since staying in the cottage that Jenna had felt lonely. The first time was when she’d spoken to her mum and she’d wanted a hug; the second when she’d waved goodbye to Carla. Yet again she felt a sadness ending the call with her friend, locking the cottage door and going upstairs. Sliding into an empty bed she realised what she was missing. There’d been so much potential with Finn. She hadn’t felt so strongly about someone for as long as she could remember. That night at the pub, she could have invited him back. She should have, before everything got messed up. But then having sex with him would have complicated her feelings further. And considering how upset he’d been by the article about her and Milo, she couldn’t even imagine how he would have reacted if they’d slept together and he thought she’d used him in the worst possible way.

She snuggled down beneath the sheet even though it was warm in the bedroom. Who was she kidding anyway? A relationship with Finn wouldn’t work any more than an actual relationship with Milo. But at least Finn, unlike Milo, was uncomplicated. He wasn’t a highly-strung actor; he had a sensible job, worked regular hours, lived with his family and had a close group of friends. He was a builder and Jenna an actor. She didn’t know where her next pay cheque was coming from, didn’t know where or who she’d be working with from one week to the next. The two of them were so different. She bet Aunt Vi never had this kind of trouble with men. She wondered what happened to the man who wrote her the letters and why her great aunt had ended up spending her life alone.

She closed her eyes but her brain wouldn’t switch off. She had made her decision. Her career had to come first. She was only twenty-seven, while the opportunity was there she needed to run with it, take the money, enjoy the fame and reap the rewards afterwards wherever that led to. She’d phone Beth in the morning and tell her to say yes. If Heidi could play the fame game, she could too.

Chapter Twenty

Regret flooded through Jenna the next morning; beads of sweat covered her body and palpitations made her chest feel tight and constricted. She’d made her decision last night, yet she still felt stressed and unsure. Maybe it was natural when it was such a big decision, one that would affect her in a dramatic way. As everyone kept on saying; it would change her life. Maybe she wasn’t ready for that?

She flung the covers off and stalked to the bathroom. Her head felt fuzzy like she’d been late-night drinking, when actually she’d gone to bed reasonably early and only had a glass of wine while she’d thought things through.

She washed away the sweat and worry, and emerged from the shower a little calmer. She wrapped a towel around herself and looked at the bathroom. Gary and Finn had done a good job in here, replacing the dated sink and toilet with contemporary white ones. They’d kept the beautiful roll top bath and made the most of the space with a modern walk-in shower to replace the old one. Everything reminded her of Finn. The palpitations intensified when she thought about him. There was no turning back now. No erasing what had happened; yet what she wanted more than anything was to make things right with him.

She had a nine o’clock call time, later than normal, which gave her enough time to have breakfast at home. She’d enjoyed the cooked breakfasts at the base during the first week or two of filming but a full plate of bacon, sausage, fried egg, mushrooms and beans got a bit much after a while. She poured muesli into a bowl and sat out on the steps to catch the morning sun.

She knew what else was bugging her. Today was her first filming day with Heidi. There would be no escaping her as the scene involved just the two of them. Jenna headed back inside, rinsed out her bowl and packed her bag for the day. Gary and Finn would be here soon. Part of her longed to see him; part of her wanted to be well clear of the place before he arrived.

Jenna’s morning commute was familiar now, and rather than the dreaded bus then Tube journey into central London, she relished the ease of clear roads and beautiful countryside as she headed to work. No main roads choked with traffic, no monotonous grey of built up areas or the long hours spent travelling to auditions and filming locations. She started the engine, glanced in the rear-view mirror at the low-hanging tree branches swaying in the breeze above the gleaming new slate roof. She released the handbrake and started down the driveway, coming to a halt when Gary’s van turning into the drive blocked her way.

Jenna put up her hand, catching Finn’s eye as she did. She reversed the short distance to allow Gary to park the