Junction X by Erastes (best autobiographies to read .TXT) 📕

of rationing, power cuts and isolation, and as I saw how Alex was loved by others than myself, the whole “keep it separate” idea weakened and cracked like thin ice over dark water.

I kept the keys in my trousers pocket, and all day I would reach in and touch them, wrap my fingers around them and hurt myself with their solidity. I removed the label in case Valerie wondered about them, but I hesitated to put them onto my key ring. Making excuses for their existence, I worried where I should keep them.

The doorbell rang and I could hear the children stamping the snow from their boots. As Mrs. Tudor pulled off wet coats and hats, I wandered into the hall.

“Still lazy-ing around, Daddy?” Mary said. It had become a joke with her. If I wasn’t at work, I was obviously doing nothing.

“It’s called working from home,” I managed with some dignity.

“Daddy’s got homework!” she shrieked and pulled John with her. “Come up, Alec!”

“In a moment,” I said, “I want to speak to Alec before you two take him away. Your mother is having a lie down, so if you are going to play, I’d rather you did it down here in the conservatory.”

“But we want to go in the garden!”

“Not tonight. You’ve just got dry. You’ve all day tomorrow.”

They vanished into the back of the house and Mrs. Tudor swept into the kitchen. I opened the study door and led Alex through, locking the door behind me, which was as dangerous a move as leaving it open. I remember his ears and his hands were cold, and I took his hands and put them against my skin before I kissed him. The study windows only looked onto the garden and there was very little chance of anyone except the children braving it out there.

He was tense for a second, then melted against me, a small noise like submission or the last breath of life escaping from him. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, but I didn’t know how to say, “I’m sorry I kissed my wife in front of you.” How does a man say that to anyone and sound sincere? Sound human? Instead I crushed him tightly, making our kiss a million miles from anything he’d seen on New Year’s Eve until we were both breathless and far too aroused to be able to leave the study right away.

“I promised you this,” I said, digging my hand into my pocket and pulling the keys out. “Open your hand.”

He obeyed me, that subtle smile that was far too old for him flickering over his mouth. I wanted to kiss it away, for I hated to think he smiled like that at anyone else.

I paid the copies of both keys out like coins, one by one into his hand. We had the means and the motive now.

“When?” His voice was carefully quiet, as if Valerie was leaning against the door.

I was such a pathetic lover. I had nothing planned, nothing but the blind elation of placing the treasure in the hand of the prince. Here, I would have said. Here are your golden hairs, now give me the kingdom.

“I don’t know. I can get away easier than you. It’s number eight.”

He was silent, looking down at the keys. “Infinity,” he said suddenly. It took me a moment to catch up. “And lucky.”

“Yes.” I hoped so. Did he see the future the way I did? I’ll never know.

“I’ll need to make some plans,” he said. “Someone at school can cover for me.”

I went cold. “You can’t…”

“Don’t worry,” like he knew my mind. “I won’t. It’s nothing more than I’ve done for them. We don’t tell each other the truth.” He grinned again. “It’s only an alibi, Edward.”

I opened the door and we sat chatting about the weather for a while, sounding false to my ears. Then he stood. “Thank you, sir. That was interesting—I might take you up on that.”

“What?” said John, appearing from nowhere with a scowl on his face.

“Your father has invited me to go into his office when the weather improves.” I had to force myself not to do a double take at the sheer elegance and slickness of the lie.

“He took me once. It was very dull.” My son was destined to be an Amazonian explorer or a burglar. I don’t think he’d decided which. “He was on the telephone almost the entire time.” He was silent for a moment. “But you’ll get a super tea. The cafeteria there is amazing.”

“Really?” Alex joined John and stepped from dark into light. “What do they have?” I heard John begin a litany of cakes and sandwiches as their voices faded away, leaving me a vision of Alex, his top lip dusted with sugar.

Chapter 17

I still felt like I must have the words of my betrayal smudged across my face in imperfect permanent ink, but no one seemed to see them as I continued to scheme. I spoke to Phil and obtained my own alibi from him; I told Val I was going to be working late on Thursday night, and Phil that he and I were going to drive to another club in the next county on Saturday. “With the weather the way it is,” I said airily to Val, “I can’t guarantee what time we’ll get back.”

“You won’t be out all night?”

“I can’t say.” I knew that it was almost impossible that Alex would be able to find some excuse to stay out that long, but this gave me—us—two plans, two opportunities. And as they were both false, both were capable of being changed if Alex had problems. I had faith in him, though; my clever boy would think of something, and it would be more convincing than mine, I was sure of it.

“I just wish you’d given me more notice, darling, it’s very bad of you. I could have come with you, but I’ll never get a sitter this late, not