Backstage Romance: An Austen-Inspired Romantic Comedy Box Set by Gigi Blume (ebook reader with highlighter txt) 📕

She closed the length between us in tentative steps and stopped in front of me, kissing the top of Lady’s little head.

“There’s a strict no pet policy in my rental agreement, so…”

She extended her arms toward me and placed Lady in my embrace. And with a nod, brushed past me and returned downstairs.

Real smooth, Will. It takes a real tough guy to make a girl cry. Especially a girl as spirited as Elizabeth Bennet. I could sense Lady giving me the side eye. Even my dog was silently judging me. Happy Holidays.

15

He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times

Beth

I had three words to describe Will Darcy. Stink. Stank. Stunk. Okay, maybe I was just listening to too many Christmas songs, but I really did think he was a triple-decker toadstool sandwich.

After the confrontation from hell, I checked my appearance in the bathroom mirror before emerging to the scrutiny of my fellow cast members. Hold your head up high. Don’t let them see you down. Who said I couldn’t act? I almost fooled myself. Not that anybody was paying attention.

By the time I went in for my fitting, my eyes were dry as a California riverbed. Ari had created a bundle of gorgeous Victorian dresses, accented in pastel trim and satin ribbons. It was so incredibly perfect, I looked as if I’d stepped right out of a painting. The only adjustments she needed to make were a few inches off the hem.

Short in stature. Yeah, so what? I preferred to use the term petite. But one thing Will didn’t realize—I was small but mighty. I wouldn’t let his asinine remarks get me down.

“Are you all right?” Ari looked at me over her glasses with an introspective glare. “You’re somewhere else, and it doesn’t look like a fun place to be.”

The word eclectic wasn’t dynamic enough to describe Ari. She reminded me of equal parts Professor Trelawney, Audrey Hepburn, and a fairy godmother secretly into 90s grunge bands. Corduroy was her material of choice in bootleg pants, and she often sported red Doc Martins. Today, she’d tossed her blue hair in a messy bun and slapped a scarf around her forehead. And she hardly ever wore makeup. She didn’t need it. She was a natural beauty, but I could tell she’d be a knockout if she ever got dressed up.

I laughed, attempting to put on the mask I wore hiding from scrutiny, but mostly hiding from myself. I was also retrospectively coming up with several witty comebacks I should have jabbed at Will. Why did I always come up with the good stuff when it’s too late?

“I’m just worried about a friend,” I said dismissively. It was a half-truth. I was preoccupied about Jane, but the whole Bing debacle encroached on my mental faculties. I wondered if roommate problems were cause enough to plead temporary insanity. How much time would I have to serve if I got all Cell Block Tango on Will?

“You probably have no drama in your life,” I said.

It was more of a question, but she struck me as a no-nonsense type of gal. Like she’d been there, done that, and now she was a working professional with a picket fence and a beautiful garden.

She shrugged. “I’ve had my share of drama.”

“Are you married?”

Her features shifted, eyes darkening like a car’s headlights switching from high beams to low.

“No.”

That was it. Just one word. No.

There was no way I would head down that tell me about your mother rabbit hole. So I left it at that, thinking if Ari ever wanted to have a girl talk bonding over costume fitting, I’d do my best to be a good listener. For now, I’d have to listen to my own annoying thoughts.

Everything that came out of Will’s mouth put me in the mood for sparring with sharp objects, but one thing in particular stuck with me—even more so than his unfounded overacting comment. He said I was a nobody. A nobody doomed to wait tables in questionable establishments all my life with no one to share it with. In truth, I wouldn’t mind the spinster life. It’s kind of like the thug life but with more baguettes. I even resigned myself to the idea I might not have a career in acting. I knew it was a pipe dream. Many people didn’t make it. I couldn’t say I blamed Will. If my dad were Hollywood royalty, I’d ride his coattails too. If everything he said to me were true, it wouldn’t bother me. But a nobody? I didn’t do that.

I arrived at Lucas Lodge a little early since my dinner consisted of quick and dirty drive-thru Mexican food. Pro tip: use the extra drink holder in your car for the nacho cheese cup. French fries fit nicely in there as well. I’d mastered the art of driving while eating burritos, thus affording me lots of extra time before my shift started to do stuff to actively avoid adulting. Things like pouring the best years of my life into my smartphone. Honestly, my world had turned into such a crazy town, even my waitress job was a welcome distraction.

Charlotte was at the bar as usual, but when she saw me enter, her features stiffened. I laughed because she seemed shocked I’d arrived early rather than my usual ten minutes late, but then, I caught sight of the true source of her deer in the headlights expression. Colin leaned into the bar, drinking his Shirley Temple with extra cherries and a cocktail umbrella. What on earth did this guy want now?

I was still considering the scenario whereby I tiptoed backwards to the parking lot, undetected by Colin when he turned his head in my direction. Oh, lucky day. I was stuck. My options were to smile and jog past the bar, avoid eye contact and hope he disappeared, or suddenly come down with pink eye and go home sick. Interacting with Colin wasn’t on the schedule. We all