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a call. Explain.” Jane made it sound so easy, not like the most awkward conversation in the history of the world. “That’s if it’s him you want, of course.”

“I don’t know what I want.” I sighed, reaching for a second biscuit. “One moment I think I’ve got it sussed and want to give things with Max a proper shot, and the next… well. The next I’m royally cocking it up. I’ve probably ruined every chance I had with Max anyway now.”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell them about the rest of it – mentioning my debts was out of the question, as was telling them about Darius’s loan request – I didn’t want them to judge me, and I certainly didn’t want them feeling sorry for me. I’d heard them make jokes about millennials before – about how reliant we are on our phones and how much money we spend on posh coffees and spaghetti squash. Telling them I’d lived beyond my means for so long would only fuel their hypotheses.

“For what it’s worth, I think you should phone Max if you like him. Talk to him. Explain. What’s the worst that could happen?” Jane said before biting into a biscuit. Crumbs landed on her blouse but she was too busy enjoying her treat to be bothered about brushing them off.

“He might not pick up, or worse still, he could answer, hurl abuse at me and then hang up,” I offered, catastrophising events being something of a strength of mine. “I don’t think I can do it.”

“If he’s as nice as you say, I bet he’d understand, but it’s your call,” Kath said. “Sometimes you’ve got to bite the bullet and have the difficult conversation. Maybe he’ll be angry, maybe he’ll be upset. We don’t know. But talking to him is the only way you’re going to get any answers.”

Although I knew she was right, I was scared. That’s why I finished the dregs of tea from my mug, baulking at the soggy biscuit crumbs lingering in the liquid as a result of my biscuit-dunking habit, and rapidly changed the subject back to New York.

“I’ll fill in the holiday form for you now, Marcie. Thanks so much for being so understanding about it.”

“No problem. It sounds like some time away could do you the world of good, and you never take time off. I can’t remember the last time you had a sick day.”

“I’ll work extra fast this week to make up for it, I promise. Starting now.” I pushed back my chair and headed towards my desk.

But despite my promises, I spent the afternoon pretending to be productive, while all the time my heart raced, my stomach churned and my brain came close to exploding. My workmates might be on my side, but I still had some important decisions to make.

Chapter 23

It was an early start. Closer to the middle of the night than to the dawn, so maybe it wasn’t early at all, just really, really late. Early, late, whatever – the only thing keeping my weary eyes open was the double shot of espresso in my takeout Starbucks.

“I’m so excited,” Tawna buzzed, not looking anywhere near as tired as I felt. Her make-up had been freshly applied for the flight, whereas if the previous day’s mascara had managed to cling on to my eyelashes it’d be a miracle. “One final fling before the big day,” she added, in a slightly wistful tone.

Eve smiled. “We’re going to have a great time. I can’t wait to touch down now.”

We hadn’t even boarded.

“We’ve got hours trapped on a plane before we get to New York,” I complained. “Popping ears and crap films on the inflight entertainment system. And I’d put money on me sitting next to someone who either man-spreads or hasn’t used deodorant since the turn of the millennium.”

“Don’t be grumpy, Soph,” Tawna pleaded. “This is supposed to be fun. All I want is to let my hair down and relax with my girls.”

“In New York.” My voice dripped with sarcasm, all the things I’d hurriedly sold to pay for this jaunt looming in the forefront of my mind.

“For crying out loud, just eat something already.” Eve shoved a cereal bar at me, which I initially turned my nose up at before realising it had chocolate chips in it. After that I tore the wrapper off like a woman possessed. “You’re always like this when you’re tired and hungry.”

Eve knows me well. I’m like a baby – without enough food or sleep I’m a nightmare to be around, which means middle-of-the-night departures are never going to be a laugh a minute for my travelling companions.

Adding to my grumpiness was the fact I’d still not made a decision about whether or not to give Darius the money, plus I’d wimped out of calling Max. I wanted to so badly, but I was petrified he’d slam the phone down on me. Instead I ended up continually checking my phone to see if he’d rung. But there was nothing. Nada. Zip.

That’s why I, along with a group of other haggard-looking travellers who were surely also wondering why they’d put themselves through the torture of a flight at an inhuman hour, wasn’t the cheeriest person on the planet as we sat in the departure lounge.

“Sorry.” One bite of the cereal bar had given me enough of a jolt to remind me of my basic manners. “I’ll sleep on the plane. I won’t be this miserable in America, I promise.”

“You’d better not be,” Eve retorted, throwing me a warning look. “Just forget about your love life for a few days.”

“What have I missed?” Tawna unscrewed the cap from her bottle of water and took a sip. “I feel so out of the loop. I know you and Darius were getting it on last weekend.”

“Max saw Sophie kissing Darius at the festival,” Eve explained.

“No! What did he say?”

“That’s just it, he hasn’t said anything. Sophie’s too nervous of how he’ll react to try to

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