Love Croakies by Sam Cheever (the kiss of deception read online .txt) 📕

I can get.” He frowned. “But we’re not taking my wife to Loveland. There has to be another way.”

“There is, I think. I just need to go see someone to make sure. And…” I grimaced. “I might need some of your wife’s hair.”

Proving how bombproof my bestie had become from hanging around with my crew and me, Lea barely twitched when Sebille and I popped out of thin air inside her closed shop, Herbal Remedies with Mystical Properties.

She arched a single light brown brow at me and closed the book she’d been reading. Coming out from behind the long, glass counter, Lea crossed her arms over her chest and looked a question at me. I closed the Book of Pages and tried a guilty smile. “Sorry for barging in.”

“The door works,” she told us. “And there’s this little thing called knocking.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But Hobs is dying and we really need your help.”

Her pretty face paled with alarm. “What happened?” Moving behind the counter again, she started pulling down jars of herbs. “What’s wrong with him? I have some fenugreek for toxins. Clove is an anti-microbial,” She stretched toward the highest shelf, wiggling her fingers so a jar filled with pale green leaves floated down to her. “Sage is a good antibiotic…”

I shook my head. “None of those will help, Lea. He’s been poisoned with Obsession.”

She stopped and turned. “What? How is that possible?”

“It’s a long story. But he’s in really bad shape.”

“Doctor Whom…”

“He’s with him now. But he needs us to bring a sample of the poison to him so he can create the antidote.”

Lea wrapped her arms around the big jar of sage and nodded. “Okay. I’m with you so far.”

“We need to go to Loveland in the demon realm,” Sebille said.

Lea blinked. Then she laughed. “That’s funny. I thought I heard you say you were going into the demon realm.”

Sebille and I stared back at her. She paled. “Festering Frog flatulence! Seriously? That’s like a death sentence.”

“We’ll have someone to help us,” I said. “Someone who knows his way around the place. Someone who’s from there.”

“Brock?”

Brock was a friend of ours from nearby Illusion City. He was a demon, but he was a good one. Though, in his ten-foot-tall demon form with enormous bat-like wings, he was a little scary. I shook my head. Getting Brock’s help wasn’t a bad idea. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to hunt him down and pitch it to him. “No. One of the cupid princes is coming. His sister, Princess Desiree, is behind all these cherub attacks. And it turns out she’s been hunting for him. Or, actually, his pregnant wife.”

Lea’s brows lowered as she tried to decipher my poorly-told story. “Long story short,” I said impatiently. “She wants the baby. Denzel knows he needs to confront her about it. But I’m afraid Desiree will just blow the place up if we don’t show up with the pregnant wife.”

Lea’s mouth fell open. “Oh no. We’re not giving an innocent baby to this monster.”

“No, we’re not. But I was hoping Nina Sampson could make an appearance. Or, maybe somebody who looks just like her?”

Lea blinked. Then blinked again. Finally, she said, “You’re thinking four-dimensional glamour?”

“Yes.”

She turned around and started putting jars back into their spots on the shelves. As she wiggled her fingers again to send the sage skyward, Sebille and I shared a look.

Sebille, whose patience had never been a snake with a long tail, said. “Lea, we need to hurry. Hobs might not have much longer.”

My bestie made an impatient sound. “I’m working as fast as I can,” she said, pulling another jar from the shelves and opening it to scoop lacy green leaves into a bowl. “You have hair?”

I found myself grinning in relief. “I do.” I handed her the hair. “Can we help?”

Lea nodded. “Sebille, get the Bilberry extract out of the fridge and make me a tea with it. Use lavender and basil for the base. Naida, go to my closet and find something that looks like the type of clothes this woman would wear.”

My steps lighter than they’d felt in hours, I hurried up the stairs at the back of Lea’s shop to do as she’d asked.

24

Not Happening, Gargoyle

An hour later, we exited Lea’s place to find Grym and Sampson waiting for us on the sidewalk. Lea locked up and turned to a flummoxed Sampson. He stared at Lea, his expression filled with wonder. “That’s amazing.” He eyed the rounded belly. “You look just like my wife. Is there a baby in there?”

Lea flinched. “No. Just a pillow.” But she kept rubbing the bump as if she did have a little bundle of joy in there.

“You even sound like her,” Sampson said, poking a finger at the pillow “baby”.

“It’s a four-dimensional glamour,” I told the shifter as Lea smacked his finger away.

“This is why you wanted Nina’s hair?” He asked.

“Yes.” I frowned. “Can we get moving please?” I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were frittering Hobs’ and the little brownie’s lives away standing there.

“Yeah, sorry,” Sampson said, giving me a tight smile. “We can go.”

“Where?” Grym asked. “How do we get to Loveland?”

“Lovelace just popped me over,” I said.

Sampson winced. “Yeah, I can’t do that. I’ve been away from there too long. I’ve lost my intrinsic connection to the place.”

“Then how?” Sebille asked.

“Through a portal,” he said. “The ogres have the closest one.”

Sebille and I shared a horrified look. “There has to be another way,” I said.

“Not if you want to do this in the minimum amount of time,” Sampson assured us.

Grym gave us a crooked grin. “Hey, while we’re there, you two could go see the naked ogre on the throne and ask to see the fine print in that contract you signed.”

“Not happening, gargoyle,” I said on a growl. I lifted my brows. “And you’re not my favorite person right now, so you might want to button it.”

Grym chuckled at the look on Sampson’s face. “Long story. I’ll