The King in Yellow by Robert W. Chambers (best ereader for pdf and epub .txt) 📕

The street is not fashionable, neither is it shabby. It is a pariah among streets⁠—a street without a Quarter. It is generally understood to lie outside the pale of the aristocratic Avenue de l’Observatoire. The students of the Montparnasse Quarter consider it swell and will have none of it. The Latin Quarter, from the Luxembourg, its northern frontier, sneers at its respectability and regards with disfavour the correctly costumed students who haunt it. Few strangers go into it. At times, however, the Latin Quarter students use it as a thoroughfare between the Rue de Rennes and the Bullier, but except for that and the weekly afternoon visits of parents and guardians to the Convent near the Rue Vavin, the street of Our Lady of the Fields is as quiet as a Passy boulevard. Perhaps the most respectable portion lies between the Rue de la Grande Chaumière and the Rue Vavin, at least this was the conclusion arrived at by the Reverend Joel Byram, as he rambled through it with Hastings in charge. To Hastings the street looked pleasant in the bright June weather, and he had begun to hope for its selection when the Reverend Byram shied violently at the cross on the Convent opposite.

“Jesuits,” he muttered.

“Well,” said Hastings wearily, “I imagine we won’t find anything better. You say yourself that vice is triumphant in Paris, and it seems to me that in every street we find Jesuits or something worse.”

After a moment he repeated, “Or something worse, which of course I would not notice except for your kindness in warning me.”

Dr. Byram sucked in his lips and looked about him. He was impressed by the evident respectability of the surroundings. Then frowning at the Convent he took Hastings’ arm and shuffled across the street to an iron gateway which bore the number 201 bis painted in white on a blue ground. Below this was a notice printed in English:

1. For Porter please oppress once.

2. For Servant please oppress twice.

3. For Parlour please oppress thrice.

Hastings touched the electric button three times, and they were ushered through the garden and into the parlour by a trim maid. The dining-room door, just beyond, was open, and from the table in plain view a stout woman hastily arose and came toward them. Hastings caught a glimpse of a young man with a big head and several snuffy old gentlemen at breakfast, before the door closed and the stout woman waddled into the room, bringing with her an aroma of coffee and a black poodle.

“It ees a plaisir to you receive!” she cried. “Monsieur is Anglish? No? Americain? Off course. My pension it ees for Americains surtout. Here all spik Angleesh, c’est à dire, ze personnel; ze sairvants do spik, plus ou moins, a little. I am happy to have you comme pensionnaires⁠—”

“Madame,” began Dr. Byram, but was cut short again.

“Ah, yess, I know, ah! mon Dieu! you do not spik Frainch but you have come to lairne! My husband does spik Frainch wiss ze pensionnaires. We have at ze moment a family Americaine who learn of my husband Frainch⁠—”

Here the poodle growled at Dr. Byram and was promptly cuffed by his mistress.

“Veux tu!” she cried, with a slap, “veux tu! Oh! le vilain, oh! le vilain!”

“Mais, madame,” said Hastings, smiling, “il n’a pas l’air très féroce.”

The poodle fled, and his mistress cried, “Ah, ze accent charming! He does spik already Frainch like a Parisien young gentleman!”

Then Dr. Byram managed to get in a word or two and gathered more or less information with regard to prices.

“It ees a pension serieux; my clientèle ees of ze best, indeed a pension de famille where one ees at ’ome.”

Then they went upstairs to examine Hastings’ future quarters, test the bedsprings and arrange for the weekly towel allowance. Dr. Byram appeared satisfied.

Madame Marotte accompanied them to the door and rang for the maid, but as Hastings stepped out into the gravel walk, his guide and mentor paused a moment and fixed Madame with his watery eyes.

“You understand,” he said, “that he is a youth of most careful bringing up, and his character and morals are without a stain. He is young and has never been abroad, never even seen a large city, and his parents have requested me, as an old family friend living in Paris, to see that he is placed under good influences. He is to study art, but on no account would his parents wish him to live in the Latin Quarter if they knew of the immorality which is rife there.”

A sound like the click of a latch interrupted him and he raised his eyes, but not in time to see the maid slap the big-headed young man behind the parlour-door.

Madame coughed, cast a deadly glance behind her and then beamed on Dr. Byram.

“It ees well zat he come here. The pension more serious, il n’en existe pas, eet ees not any!” she announced with conviction.

So, as there was nothing more to add, Dr. Byram joined Hastings at the gate.

“I trust,” he said, eyeing the Convent, “that you will make no acquaintances among Jesuits!”

Hastings looked at the Convent until a pretty girl passed before the gray façade, and then he looked at her. A young fellow with a paintbox and canvas came swinging along, stopped before the pretty girl, said something during a brief but vigorous handshake at which they both laughed, and he went his way, calling back, “À demain Valentine!” as in the same breath she cried, “À demain!”

“Valentine,” thought Hastings, “what a quaint name;” and he started to follow the Reverend Joel Byram, who was shuffling towards the nearest tramway station.

“An’ you are pleas wiz Paris, Monsieur’ Astang?” demanded Madame Marotte the next morning as Hastings came into the breakfast-room of the pension, rosy from his plunge in the limited bath