Clarissa Harlowe by Samuel Richardson (e reader manga .txt) 📕

insisted upon this re-perusal previously to what she had to say to him, as he tells me. She complied, but with some difficulty; as if she were afraid of being softened in my favour.

She lamented her unhappy situation; destitute of friends, and not knowing whither to go, or what to do. She asked questions, sifting-questions, about her uncle, about her family, and after what he knew of Mr. Hickman’s fruitless application in her favour.

He was well prepared in this particular; for I had shown him the letters and extracts of letter of Miss Howe, which I had so happily come at.229 Might she be assured, she asked him, that her brother, with Singleton and Solmes, were actually in quest of her?

He averred that they were.

She asked, if he thought I had hopes of prevailing on her to go back to town?

He was sure I had not.

Was he really of opinion that Lady Betty would pay her a visit?

He had no doubt of it.

But, Sir; but, Captain Tomlinson⁠—(impatiently turning from him, and again to him) I know not what to do⁠—but were I your daughter, Sir⁠—were you my own father⁠—Alas! Sir, I have neither father nor mother!

He turned from her and wiped his eyes.

O Sir! you have humanity! (She wept too). There are some men in the world, thank Heaven, that can be moved. O Sir, I have met with hardhearted men⁠—in my own family too⁠—or I could not have been so unhappy as I am⁠—but I make everybody unhappy!

His eyes no doubt ran over.⁠—

Dearest Madam! Heavenly Lady!⁠—Who can⁠—who can⁠—hesitated and blubbered the dog, as he owned. And indeed I heard some part of what passed, though they both talked lower than I wished; for, from the nature of their conversation, there was no room for altitudes.

Them, and both, and they!⁠—How it goes against me to include this angel of a creature, and any man on earth but myself, in one world!

Capt. Who can forbear being affected?⁠—But, Madam, you can be no other man’s.

Cl. Nor would I be. But he is so sunk with me!⁠—To fire the house!⁠—An artifice so vile!⁠—contrived for the worst of purposes!⁠—Would you have a daughter of yours⁠—But what would I say?⁠—Yet you see that I have nobody in whom I can confide!⁠—Mr. Lovelace is a vindictive man!⁠—He could not love the creature whom he could insult as he has insulted me!

She paused. And then resuming⁠—in short, I never, never can forgive him, nor he me.⁠—Do you think, Sir, I never would have gone so far as I have gone, if I had intended ever to draw with him in one yoke?⁠—I left behind me such a letter⁠—

You know, Madam, he has acknowledged the justice of your resentment⁠—

O Sir, he can acknowledge, and he can retract, fifty times a day⁠—but do not think I am trifling with myself and you, and want to be persuaded to forgive him, and to be his. There is not a creature of my sex, who would have been more explicit, and more frank, than I would have been, from the moment I intended to be his, had I a heart like my own to deal with. I was always above reserve, Sir, I will presume to say, where I had no cause of doubt. Mr. Lovelace’s conduct has made me appear, perhaps, overnice, when my heart wanted to be encouraged and assured! and when, if it had been so, my whole behaviour would have been governed by it.

She stopped; her handkerchief at her eyes.

I inquired after the minutest part of her behaviour, as well as after her words. I love, thou knowest, to trace human nature, and more particularly female nature, through its most secret recesses.

The pitiful fellow was lost in silent admiration of her. And thus the noble creature proceeded.

It is the fate in unequal unions, that tolerable creatures, through them, frequently incur censure, when more happily yoked they might be entitled to praise. And shall I not shun a union with a man, that might lead into errors a creature who flatters herself that she is blest with an inclination to be good; and who wishes to make everyone happy with whom she has any connection, even to her very servants?

She paused, taking a turn about the room⁠—the fellow, devil fetch him, a mummy all the time:⁠—Then proceeded.

Formerly, indeed, I hoped to be an humble mean of reforming him. But, when I have no such hope, is it right (you are a serious man, Sir) to make a venture that shall endanger my own morals?

Still silent was the varlet. If my advocate had nothing to say for me, what hope of carrying my cause?

And now, Sir, what is the result of all?⁠—It is this⁠—that you will endeavour, if you have that influence over him which a man of your sense and experience ought to have, to prevail upon him, and that for his own sake, as well as for mine, to leave me free, to pursue my own destiny. And of this you may assure him, that I will never be any other man’s.

Impossible, Madam! I know that Mr. Lovelace would not hear me with patience on such a topic. And I do assure you that I have some spirit, and should not care to take an indignity from him or from any man living.

She paused⁠—then resuming⁠—and think you, Sir, that my uncle will refuse to receive a letter from me? (How averse, Jack, to concede a tittle in my favour!)

I know, Madam, as matters are circumstanced, that he would not answer it. If you please I will carry one down from you.

And will he not pursue his intentions in my favour, nor be himself reconciled to me, except I am married?

From what your brother gives out, and effects to believe, on Mr. Lovelace’s living with you in the same⁠—

No more, Sir⁠—I am an unhappy creature!

He then re-urged, that it would be in her power instantly, or on the morrow, to put an end to all her difficulties.

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