The Missing by Kiersten Modglin (essential books to read txt) 📕

challenge in her eyes. The silence was a blow. I felt the weight of it in my chest, crushing my lungs as I inhaled deeply.

Beside me, Noah scrambled to his feet, stepping toward her. “How the fuck can you say that? You know how much Harry meant to her…”

I wanted to stop him, to calm him down, but I wanted to know the answer, too.

James stood up, facing off with him. “Ease up, bro. She didn’t even say anything.”

“She didn’t not say anything,” he said, looking James up and down aggressively. “Is that what you think, too? Is that what you’ve both been whispering about during all the times you sneak away?”

“It’s not like that—”

Ava stood up, touching James’s arm gently and narrowing her gaze at Noah. “We don’t owe you an explanation for the way we feel.”

“And how exactly do you feel?” I asked, still feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of me. I couldn’t bring myself to stand up. “That’s what changed, isn’t it? When we came back, you were different… It’s because you think we did this on purpose.” It wasn’t a question, but as she broke eye contact, she confirmed it.

“We weren’t with you,” James said. “And we got the note that said ‘nice work.’ When we found out Harry died, well…”

“We don’t know what happened while you were out there,” Ava finished for him when he seemed unable to do so himself. “What we know is that you left with our friend, and you came back without him in a place where we’re all meant to kill each other. All we have is your word that you didn’t get Harry out of your way, and that you’re not planning to do the same to us.”

I clutched my chest, shaking my head at her in shock. “Do you honestly believe I’m capable of that? After all we’ve been through?”

“Why didn’t you come get us?” James asked, his tone soft. More out of curiosity than anything. “Why wouldn’t you have come and gotten us when it happened? Why bury him without us?”

“Because…it all happened so fast. We didn’t mean to…” I tried to find the words to relive the night I’d spent so much time trying to forget.

“What would you have had us do?” Noah demanded. “Carry his body miles across the jungle or leave it there and hope animals hadn’t gotten to it before we could make it here and back?” He huffed a breath. “We’d just watched our friend die. We were in shock and just trying to deal with it the best we could. He fell. It was an accident. If you don’t believe us, just leave. Build your raft and leave. See what happens. Believe me, if we’d meant to kill you, you’d be dead by now.”

“Noah,” I said, shocked by the last sentiment. I shot up, grabbing hold of his arm and trying to ease the tension. “Ava,” I begged her to meet my eye. When she finally did, I went on, “Harry was my friend. Losing him…”

Tears sprang to my eyes without warning. I placed my hand on my chest. “It broke me. I can’t…I can’t explain to you how it happened. How quickly, how devastating… We wanted to bring him back. We wanted to save him. But we couldn’t. We did the best we could while we were still processing what had happened. We would… We’d never hurt you.”

I glanced at James. “Either of you. We’re in this together. We’ve always been in this together. I care about you both, and nothing could change that. If you can’t trust us, if you don’t believe me, there’s nothing I can do. I don’t know how I’d feel if the situation were reversed. But what I can tell you is that I’d do anything to protect you. Harry’s death was a horrible accident and nothing else.”

I brushed away a stray tear and turned away from her. I felt as if I were going to pass out, my head throbbing. I needed to get away before I said or did something I regretted.

“Where are you going?” Noah asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“I need to walk,” I said. Then I added, “I’ll stay close.” I knew he’d worry otherwise, and I desperately needed my alone time. I hoped he wouldn’t follow me.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Pssssst.”

I opened my eyes, looking up at the dark, starry sky with hazy vision. The sand was hard and itchy against my back, and when I rolled over, it fell from my hair in a gentle cascade. I looked around, sure I’d heard the noise.

In the distance, I saw Ava’s and James’s bodies curled together next to the fire, two dark lumps in the sand only recognizable by the bump of a bun atop Ava’s head that she’d managed to fashion with a particularly strong weed we’d found. Farther down the shore and closer to me, but still not close, Noah lay, his arms and legs outstretched like a starfish, as he always slept. I furrowed my brow, looking behind me. Had I dreamed the noise?

“Psssst.” It came again, more real this time, making me jump. I looked toward the edge of the trees, my throat growing dry as I saw the flash of white. The blonde hair, blowing in the wind next to the trees. She was watching me. She was waving me in her direction.

I looked at Noah instinctively, weighing my options. Should I go? Should I yell? Should I run?

“Psssst,” she called again, waving her hand ferociously between us. “Come here,” she whispered. “Hurry.”

I took a deep breath, taking a cautious step toward her. It felt like the best and worst idea all at once. She was alone and didn’t appear to be armed, and I’d seen her twice now, without her trying to hurt us.

“Who are you?” I asked when I got close enough to talk, but not close enough for her to grab me, should she try. I kept Noah’s feet in my