A Laird for All Time by Angeline Fortin (best motivational books for students .TXT) 📕

such anguish that Emmy could not be angry with him.  “I already told you that I have never done it for money.  I hope you will believe that.”

He conceded with a nod.  “So ye took lovers then?”

“I have had lovers, yes.”  He tensed but she kept her eyes locked with his.  “So have you, I’d wager.  Do not be a hypocrite, Connor.  We are both adults here.”

The question tortured him.  He didn’t want to know, but he had to.  “But how many?”

Emmy rolled away from him with a groan.  Impossible man!  Why would he ruin the moment like that?  Rising to her feet, she fetched a robe Margo kept out for her and slipped her arms in while turning back to the man on her bed.

Connor was captivated by the sight of her relaxed nudity as she stood and moved to the end of the bed.  She was so comfortable with herself.  That confidence had its own appeal, as did her long legs and ample breasts…

Emmy leaned down over him and ran a hand up his chest, whispering seductively.  “Come on, Connor.  You’re ruining the moment.  Isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing?”

The temptation was strong, Connor admitted to himself as he stared down the gaping gown.  He groaned and reached up to cup the dangling globes before him.  With a smile, Emmy spread the gown and straddled his lap before leaning in to kiss him.  “Isn’t this better than fighting?”

“I don’t want to fight with ye, my love.”  He drew back and met her eyes seriously.  “But I need an answer to my question.  How many?”

“God, Connor!” she huffed.  “Does it really matter?  You’re not a virgin, neither I am.  Why does the number matter?”

He cupped her cheeks and forced her to meet his eyes.  “It tortures me, this image of ye with another man. I hate that another has had ye when I want you to be only mine.”

Emmy stared down at him at this fierce confession.  “Only yours, huh?” She caressed his cheek back and forth.  The man really did know how to make a woman feel special.  His eyes were hot and possessive; his hands had moved to grip her hips tightly against him.  In spite of his denial, she could feel him hard beneath her.  It wasn’t such a huge thing to answer him, she decided.  At least is she did, they might be able to get beyond it, move past it.

“Fine.  Four,” she answered truthfully.

“Four lovers!” he repeated with a frown.

Emmy rolled her eyes.  “I will ask again, how many have you had?  It’s not an incredibly large number given my age.  I am twenty-eight after all.  Many women I know have slept with many more than that.”

“Was the first someone I would know?  Someone here?”

Emmy gave a short laugh.  “Definitely no.  The first was Andy Johnson my senior year of high school in the basement of his house during halftime of the NFC play-offs.  It was brief, uncomfortable and thoroughly forgettable.  I don’t know that we ever even went out again after that.  It was incredibly disappointing.”

“Did ye not love these men then?”

“At the time, I would have said I did.” Emmy crawled off him and gathered the dressing gown around herself knowing the moment was clearly over for now.   There had been a guy the first two years of medical school on and off  that she would have labeled as a ‘friend with benefits’, but she wasn’t about to explain that concept to him.  He would never understand it even if he had had more casual sex than she ever dreamed of.  She went to the fireplace and took the poker, jabbing at the coals there to stir them to life in the cold room.  She wondered if this would be the end if it for them if he could not accept her lack of innocence.

Connor took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face.  Four men.  Four faceless men that had had this woman who had been his wife at the time.  Had she ever considered that while she was taking her lovers?  Had she gone to the first without a second thought for him?  Knowing that she was giving what should have been his and his alone? Rage and jealousy filled him for the man who had taken her innocence without thought for her pleasure.  Still she was right.  He’d had many more lovers than she and as recently as several months before while on business in London.  Was he the hypocrite she accused him of being in holding her affairs against her?

“Four.”  He said it aloud.  Testing it.

“Willingly, yes,” she responded and then winced, clapping a hand over her mouth.  Well, she hadn’t meant that to come out.

“What do you mean ‘willingly’?” he rose and turned her to face him gripping her upper arms.  The poker clattered to the floor.

Emmy hedged in hesitant embarrassment.  She had never told anyone about that before.  She should not be ashamed, but she was.  She didn’t know why she had admitted it to Connor of all people, but there was just something about him that made her want to talk to him.  To let him know her…all of her.  “Well, there was an incident my sophomore year of college.”

She lowered her eyes away from him but with a finger on her chin, he compelled her gaze to return to his.  “Ye were raped?”

“’Date rape’ they call it these days.  Slipped me a Mickey and took advantage of me while I was passed out.”  She closed her eyes against the humiliating memory.  “I woke up half way through to find him on top of me and tried to fight him off, but I was so out of it.  I was so bruised after while he joked to all his friends about it.  It was awful.  Worst part was that I knew him.  We had several classes together.  He had asked me out a couple times but I never did