The City of Crows by Bethany Lovejoy (great books to read .txt) 📕

sheen that overcame every image and a scent that overwhelmed my senses, forcing my body into submission. The world seemed to move slower, a floating sensation overcame me as my legs came back into view, my side crushed against a firm, yet squishy wall. Blobs of black peaked through the sea of white that appeared in front of me, slightly discolored by the purple tint that seemed to overwhelm everything.

“I’m sorry,” Leo’s voice echoed in my head, seeming so far away. Instinctually, I knew that he wasn’t. His arms wrapped around me, shoulder attempting to cradle my head. I knew he was there. “I had to do it, Lyra,” his voice continued as I feebly attempted to raise a hand to him to reach for his face, if only to ask him what exactly it was that he had done.

My mind was processing so little, and the small window that I was seeing through seemed to be threatened by a frame of lavender that only grew smaller and smaller.

“A lot of melatonin,” he said, the word melatonin seeming to bounce around in my head, “and a little of another sleeping pill. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you, so I thought…” He trailed off just as I did, but a droplet of warm water against my cheek was all it took to jerk me back to reality. “I had to do this,” he said, more for his benefit than mine. “Lyra, I couldn’t let you hurt yourself. You have so much to live for, so many people who love you. How was I supposed to come to terms with that if you lost it all because of me? What if it changes who you are? What if it ruined you?”

A long exhale escaped my body as I found myself unable to form words, much less thoughts.

“But you weren’t going to stop,” further and further away again. My back rested against something softer now, something colder. Bed, a dangerous place to be, especially when I was clawing at the walls of consciousness. “If I didn’t do this, you would. If I managed to stop you long enough to die, you’d still find a way to bring me back, to do something like this. Lyra, I…”

I tried to find a way to anchor myself, to focus on his words and stay. That was a mistake, however, because it only made his next words hurt all the more.

“I should have never met you.”

Pain. Not the kind you could feel or really process, but the kind that brings tears to your eyes without you realizing it. My eyes half open and my mind fully delirious, the pain felt like too much, the liquid dripping from my eyes. I was bad, that was something I understood, I had done something bad and now Leo didn’t want to be there anymore.

“I love you, even though I’m not supposed to,” he admitted. “Even though the woman at the crossroads told me not to.” Warmth, his thumb brushing over my cheek, wiping away the wetness and replacing it with a gentle kiss. “Ever since I saw you through those bookshelves.” Weight, which I at first hadn’t realized had been there, left my side.

Wake up, all I could do was think the word, not perform the action. He was slipping further away by the minute both mentally and physically.

“Goodnight, Lyra,” he whispered, his hand caressing my cheeks. “Please stay safe.” Treacherous lips touched mine, lacking the passion and vigor of earlier in the day. This was a different kind of kiss, the kiss of goodbye. They were too much, too much familiarity and too much want; I couldn’t fight it. My heartbeat slowed with his touch, the desire for more becoming quieter and quieter. My hand feebly reached out, desperate to grab him, desperate to stop Leo before he could make a mistake that he could never take back. But I couldn’t reach him, I couldn’t stop him from going. The world was becoming too heavy, the haze too enticing. Slowly, I slipped away.

“Lyra Alix Wynne,” A voice cut through the silence, tearing my eyes open with that shrill, familiar sound. “What did I tell you?” A woman spoke, a cloud of cigarette smoke smacking me in the face as she leaned down to grab my wrist, pulling me forward. “Today is not the day to be sneaking around,” she declared, pulling me forward, her cigarette leaving her mouth to flick away the ash just as she turned away from me.

Familiar, mousy brown locks appeared, tied up tightly in a cheetah print scarf that clashed with the woman’s scarlet red tank top. She cast me a look backward, the frame of her ruby colored cat-eyeglasses allowing only the smallest glimpse of the corner of her blue eyes. Her dark burgundy lips were set in a frown as she walked, the back of her heels digging into the grass with every step she took. White nails, professionally done yet cut short as to not interfere with her work, formed a loose circle around my wrist.

“You have to stop staring sweetie, and start moving,” the woman said dryly from above, lacking the patience for my explorations.

“Mom…?” I breathed, eyes widening.

“Yes, Lyra,” she said in a tone that made it very clear, I should know this fact by now. “Now, we have a visitor today, one of mommy’s acquaintances from work. So, you must, absolutely must, stay upstairs in your room and not make a sound. We’re already running fairly late, and he’ll be here any minute. You do as I say, Lyra, and don’t question it.”

“But—”

“I said don’t question me, Lyra,” my mother tutted, finally reaching the back door of our house. She tore it open impatiently, dragging me in. Catching the concerned, almost frightened look on my face, she took a long drag of her cigarette before dropping down to her knees in front of me, flicking the butt off the side of our back stoop.