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him made Peter

happy.

“Why did you take the drugs, Chaz? I know you said it had something to do with an

injury you suffered several years ago. I understand taking the medicine then, but why did you continue?”

Chaz let his hand drop before climbing to his feet. Peter stayed seated while Chaz

paced the room.

“I took them at first to help ease the pain right after the injury, but the pain didn’t go away. I told you the truth before. I wasn’t ready to call it quits yet. So I kept taking the pills to dull the pain.” Chaz shrugged.

Peter could understand that. “Then?”

“My addiction grew to the point where I wasn’t taking the pills to help with the pain

anymore. I needed them to get through the day, then I had to have more and more. Just like every other addict.” Chaz snorted as he stopped in front of the fireplace. He stared down at the hearth.

“If you knew that, then why didn’t you get help? There were people all around you

who would’ve done everything in their power to get you what you needed to be clean,”

Peter pointed out.

Chaz shook his head and chuckled harshly. “I thought I was strong enough to break the

habit on my own, but what I found was a simple universal truth. Very few people have that much strength to defeat this.”

Peter sighed as he studied Chaz. So much pride, and it almost could have ended in

disaster. After standing, he strolled over to where Chaz was. He rested his hand on Chaz’s shoulder.

“What changed?”

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 153

“Meeting and falling in love with you. It changed everything, though I didn’t know it at

the time.” Chaz covered Peter’s hand with his, but didn’t turn around. “You almost dying in an accident that was my fault finally opened my eyes all the way. If it wasn’t for Les, I wouldn’t have known what to do.”

“I’m getting the feeling Les was like a fairy godfather in all of this. What exactly did he do?” Peter flipped his hand around to entwine his fingers with Chaz’s. He tugged, asking

silently for Chaz to come with him. After turning, Chaz followed Peter back to the couch where he sat next to Peter. Resting their hands on his thigh, Peter used his shoulder to bump Chaz’s. “Tell me everything Les did, so I can figure out if I should be mad at him for

meddling or thrilled that he chose to help you.”

“I was shocked when he approached me, since he had every right to be angry for what I

did to you.”

Chaz flexed his fingers and Peter shivered at Chaz’s touch. Christ! It’d been over a year since Peter had been touched like that. He brought his mind back to what they were talking about instead of wishing he could feel Chaz against his naked skin.

“I’m not surprised Les said something to you. Even when he’s angry, he’s always been

able to see both sides of a situation, and if he can, he’ll work to fix it.” Peter leaned against Chaz, resting his head on Chaz’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you, Chaz.”

Chaz sighed. “I missed you too, but Les told me not to contact you until I knew for sure

I was clean and had a handle on my addiction. I know I’ll always be an addict, but I haven’t had any drugs for a year. The night of the accident was my last time.”

“Les told you not to contact me?” Peter didn’t know if he was upset about Les’

interference or if he was happy.

“Yes, and I agreed with him, Peter. I was a danger to you and myself. He found a rehab

centre in New York for me, and flew me out. I left right after you told me to leave you alone.

Les paid for the treatment.” Chaz grimaced. “I owe him a lot of money, but every time I try to talk to him about paying him back, he changes the subject. His condition for paying was I wasn’t to contact you at all until I had been clean for at least six months.”

Peter laughed. “Good luck paying him back. It’ll never happen, unless you go behind

his back and talk to Randy. I can’t guarantee that’ll work either, because he’s reluctant to invalidate Les’ altruism.”

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LEAVING HOME T.A. Chase 154

“I know, but I have to keep trying. I can’t just let him do this for me without giving

something back to him.”

“We’ll think of something,” Peter promised. “What about your job?”

Chaz let go of Peter’s hand to wrap his arm around Peter’s shoulder, then pulled him

closer. “I retired. I had back surgery earlier this year, and the pain’s not so bad. It just aches a little, but it’s something I can deal with without feeling the need to numb it. Though I feel better, the doctors warned me that getting kicked or hit at just the right angle could paralyse me. I don’t want to risk that anymore.”

“What changed your mind about that? I know how much bullfighting means to you.”

Peter embraced Chaz, holding him tight.

“I would rather have a drug-free life than continue to bullfight while dealing with an

increasing addiction. One day, I might not have reacted as fast as I needed to, and a cowboy or one of my fellow clowns would be dead. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that.” Chaz

paused for a moment before continuing, “Also, my career doesn’t mean nearly as much to

me as you do. I love you, Peter, and I never want to take a chance on losing you again.”

Peter leant back to meet Chaz’s gaze and smiled. “You’ll never lose me again. From

now on, we’ll fight this together. Whenever you get the urge to pop a pill, I’ll be there to remind you of all the good things you have, and why numbing yourself isn’t the way to live life.”

Chaz kissed him, and Peter couldn’t help the moan bursting from his lips. For a year,

he’d been reliving each kiss and touch while trying to make

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