Concede (The Diamond Empire Book 1) by Kathy Coopmans (bts book recommendations .TXT) 📕

He’s a subject I can talk about regardless if it hurts or not. He’s waited on me hand and foot. A little too much, really.

He brought me breakfast in bed this morning when I woke. When I refused to eat, he propped pillows behind me, gave me a look that said, get your ass to a comfortable sitting position, and then he fed me. He sat on the toilet waiting when I took a shower, and then he dried me off, dressed me in warm wool pajamas, and put me back to bed. All the while, he kept telling me I’m the most beautiful, bravest woman he’s ever seen and known despite the ugliness covering my body. Of course, he didn’t voice the last.

His words and actions are a healing balm trying to work their way into my aching soul.

The man never ceases to amaze me. There are more layers to him than I thought possible. Every single one is as good as the last—a man who changed my life. My way of thinking, turning my life right side up instead of upside down in a matter of days.

Now he’s in pain, just like me.

A thought occurs to me then. A way to help fill up the hole in Seth’s heart.

“You can do me a favor, though. You can tell your daughter she needs to call her uncle. I understand she’s hurting. She’s hurting Seth too. She’s old enough to know better than to act this way, Sienna.” I struggle to breathe at the word daughter. My child could have been a little girl, and now I’ll never know.

Thinking this boils my revenge again. It has me visualizing Seth getting right down on the floor to play dolls with our little girl as I witnessed with Lexi. To play football if it were a boy like he does with Luca. To watch him change diapers.

Damn it. Damn Maxim to hell for taking that away from Seth.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for.” Regardless, when Seth told me one morning how Lexi acted, I could tell it was eating him up inside.

“More like the truth than uncalled for. We’ve talked to Lexi several times, Victoria. She’s a Mitchell, don’t forget. As stubborn as those three brothers. She’ll call when she’s ready. I don’t want to keep you much longer. You probably need to rest. I’m happy you’re safe. I’m glad Seth is there to take care of you. Underneath his hardness, he’s a good man like his brothers. Don’t keep things inside, okay? Let everything you’re feeling out. Promise me, and I’ll leave you be.”

A Mitchell. So was my baby.

There’s that word was again. I’ve used it so much lately. I don’t want to use it again in context with death.

“I will. I doubt Seth will let me keep things tucked away anyway. I appreciate you calling me. Just please tell Lexi Seth misses her. I love you.” Hanging up, I place my phone on the coffee table, wincing when a dose of pain lashes through my abdomen. I bury myself under the covers. My hand flying to my stomach as it screams and wails for a way to fill up the hole. It feels carved out and empty.

Hollow and void of a precious gift.

I watch the flames in the fireplace curl and sway, flicking this way and that, crackling as they burn the dry wood. My lids are starting to grow heavy.

I just want to sleep this agony away and not listen to my brain because it won’t listen to me when I tell it to stop the resounding ache in my chest.

I want to pretend yesterday didn’t happen.

But it did, and I don’t want to face it.

I want to feel numb.

My mind spins. This never-ending loop that if I don’t get things off my chest, it’ll build up like before. Taking a deep breath, I wait for the tears to come, and when they don’t, I think about how most of my life, I believed I would never become a mother. Always afraid of real heartbreak as much as I was scared of death. But never did I think my mind and heart would change after evilness stole the last thing it will steal from me.

A baby whose heartbeat I’ll never hear beating. A baby I would have loved with my whole heart. A baby I would have gladly locked myself away for the rest of my life to protect.

Ripped right out of me before I had the chance to nourish and take care of it.

My body whimpers in protest when I roll over to my side. My entire body is in more pain than I ever could have imagined possible.

Instead of crying like I thought I would, I drift into a restless sleep to where I relive the night, I found my family and what happened to me. All I see is blood and a faceless man waiting for me somewhere in the distance, calling my name. I can hear him telling me he has my baby in his arms, and he’s going to raise him or her on his own. I can’t seem to find him. I run and search and screech. Everywhere I look is a dead end.

And then I’m standing on the edge of a cliff. Someone comes up behind me, shoving me to my death.

I wake in a panic, drenched in sweat. My eyes squeeze closed—my hand at my stomach. The bedroom is near dark, and for a moment, I can’t remember where I am until I hear the crackle of the fireplace. I’m safe in bed, and when I open my eyes, Seth is next to me. Eyes wide open, darkness clinging to the sharp angles of his face.

“I can’t breathe.” Queasiness churns my stomach. I don’t deserve this, and neither does Seth. This loss, this pain, it pierces and burns. Filling my veins with guilt. I should have listened to that dread. If I did, none of this would have happened.

I’ve never felt so