The Missing by Kiersten Modglin (essential books to read txt) 📕

Ava cried, wincing with her eyes squeezed shut. James tossed them from his hand as if they were poisonous to the touch, not just taste.

Noah leapt up, grabbing hold of his gun and pointing it at them both. “What the fuck is going on?” I was just behind him, reaching for the machete beside my feet. Was this really happening? Were we going to have to fight them? I felt sick suddenly, my throat dry, knees weak.

Ava reached for her own gun as quickly as Noah had, bouncing between pointing it at each of us. James didn’t reach for his gun, but instead stood between the three of us, his arms outstretched. “Wait, hold on, hold on… It’s not what you think.”

“It’s not what we think? I think your girlfriend just tried to poison us.”

“It wasn’t her idea,” he said, shaking his head. “It was mine, and only because we didn’t have a choice. If you’re going to shoot someone”—he turned his back toward her, facing us with his hands in the air—“shoot me. But let her go.”

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

“No one was planning to hurt anyone until you pulled this. That little apology was all a show, wasn’t it? Well, brav-fucking-o, give her the Oscar, ladies and gentlemen,” Noah said through gritted teeth.

“What do you mean, James? What did you mean you didn’t have a choice? I don’t understand.”

“That’s because you can’t understand these people, Katy. Don’t you get that? Ole Dahmer and her goon here were going to take us out and sail away on their raft to live happily ever after.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Ava said, tears choking her voice.

“Then what is going on—”

“I’m pregnant,” Ava shouted, her voice echoing across the beach. Our weapons dropped in an instant, and James turned to her, his arms cradling her shoulders. “I’m pregnant,” she said again, this time a whisper.

I tried to do the math in my head, none of it making sense. “I don’t understand…” I trailed off, piecing together the sickness and the whispered conversations, Ava’s sudden aversion to most meats and why we’d had to find other fruits to try, why she took naps in the afternoons most days lately and why James had doted on her even more than usual over the past week or two. “You’re pregnant? Are you sure? How could you know?”

“I was pregnant when I got here,” she said softly. “I’d just found out. My boyfriend and I…we wanted to keep it. It was why I wanted to transfer to the same college he was going to, which was what I was arguing with my parents about, why I went off on the boat in the first place.”

“I don’t understand.” My guard was still up. Could I trust her? “Why wouldn’t you tell us that?”

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “At first, I just thought we’d be here for a few hours, maybe a day, and someone would come back for us. Then it wouldn’t matter. And then, I didn’t want you all to treat me like I was weak or couldn’t help. I told Harry on our second night here. He was kind to me. It was a huge part of the reason we’d gotten so close. Then the morning sickness came and Harry was so busy being the leader, I had to confide in someone else. I was scared, and I—”

“You could’ve come to me,” I told her. “I would’ve been there for you.”

“I thought you might’ve judged me. Like my mom did…”

“Ava, I…” I trailed off, still trying to process all I was being told. “I’m sorry for whatever happened with your parents, but you need to tell us these things so we can be prepared.”

“Prepared for what?” James asked, suddenly angry. “For her to give birth here? Without access to medical care for her or the baby? How can you ask her to do that?”

Suddenly, it hit me. All of it. I understood what they were trying to do and why. “You were trying to get her home.”

He nodded, taking her hand. “It was the hardest decision we’ve ever had to make.”

“We’ve looked for every way out of it we can,” Ava said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I just can’t give birth here. I can’t do it. Please understand…”

“Well, you aren’t killing us. Not without a fight,” Noah said, moving his shoulder in front of mine.

“This is what they want,” I said. “Don’t you guys see that? This is all they want. They want us to fight. To choose. But we can’t. If we do, they win.”

“And if we don’t?” James asked. “Look, I don’t want to die any more than anyone else, but can we really just live our lives out here? Eventually, we’re all going to die. Whether it’s an accident like Harry’s or an animal attack, or we just end up killing each other, someone will be the last one standing. But we have a chance right now, to choose to do the right thing. To save a life. Two lives, really.”

“At the expense of ours,” Noah argued.

“You were going to take the choice away from us. I don’t understand why you couldn’t just come to us. We would’ve figured something out.”

“Something like what?” Ava asked. “We didn’t know if we could trust you at that point. Harry’s death was still fresh, and we had no idea who else was on the island.”

“But you could’ve told us any time up until this point.” I gestured toward the berries. “Poisoning us, though? This wasn’t the way, Ava. We trusted you.” James met my eye. “Both of you.”

“So, what now?” Noah asked. “You’re obviously going to try to kill us again, even if we let you live now.” I saw his hand tighten around the gun again, watched him raise it slightly.

“You aren’t going to touch her,” James growled. “We stopped it from happening. She stopped me.”

“Because she knew you’d die first and we’d realize what had happened, and then