Dare You to Hate Me by B. Celeste (classic fiction .txt) 📕

for leaving that shithole when you have somewhere ten times better to sleep?”

That makes me scoff, the frustration flowing through my veins. “Oh, and I suppose it’s better because you’re here? You need to get your ego in check, buddy.”

His nostrils flare as he steps forward, fists clenching and unclenching. “Because there are walls that don’t have mold, ceilings that aren’t leaking, and people who aren’t trying to scratch your eyes out or get into your pants every two goddamn seconds. That’s why.”

“You’re kidding, right? You can’t really say that anymore considering where your cock was, so don’t play the Saint Aiden angle like you’re better than the others who wanted in my pants. You got what you wanted.”

Another step forward. “Is that what this is about? We slept together and I had to leave early for campus? It isn’t like I ditched you considering you’ve been living here in my bed for weeks now. I didn’t use you.”

“This isn’t about that!” I yell. “And you’re such an asshole for even thinking it is. You told somebody to kick me out of the place I was staying. A place I got by myself. Somewhere I could stay that didn’t involve me having to suck somebody’s dick just to get a few hours of sleep. That’s screwed up, Aiden! Admit it. Own up to it for once instead of trying to play the goddamn superhero. That shield on your arm doesn’t actually make you Steve Rogers.”

The door opens from the top of the stairway and footsteps hesitantly descend, halting the conversation. When Caleb pops up, he’s rubbing the back of his neck and clearing his throat. “Hey, so…er, the guys are sort of eavesdropping at the top of the stairs and they’re hearing everything you’re saying. Yelling doesn’t really help if you want this kept between you two. Thought I’d warn you.”

Aiden gives his red-faced friend a terse nod before Caleb disappears again, exchanging words with the people I now know are getting a free show at the top of the stairs.

“Your friends know my big secret now. I’m sure they’ll love my company even more whenever they see me.” I look away, hiding the way my cheeks heat. I don’t want to be embarrassed for what had to be done in the past. Aiden’s words are pinned in my mind.

You’re a survivor.

So why don’t I feel like one?

He finally speaks up again. “We’re not going to get anywhere if we’re yelling. And the guys won’t do or say a damn thing about what they heard. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I don’t care if they do,” I lie.

He eyes me knowingly.

“Why did you do it?” I ask him.

“To get you out.”

“What if I didn’t want that?”

“You don’t want charity,” he corrects, tone not allowing for any argument. “But that hasn’t stopped you from sleeping in my bed every night. I don’t force you there. I didn’t force you to kiss me or make you spread your legs. We both wanted it. You being here is no hardship for anyone, least of all you. If anything, you’re the one with something to gain.”

I glare over his dry sentiment. “Considering you lost your virginity—” I make sure my voice is loud enough for our audience upstairs. “—to me, I’d say I’m not the only one who’s gaining something from this arrangement. Whether I opened my thighs for you or not isn’t the deciding factor. I’m allowed to be pissed off that you made a decision for me that wasn’t yours to make.”

One more step and we’re facing off. “You can keep telling yourself that all you want, sweetheart, but you’ll have to admit you like being here eventually.”

I say nothing.

Neither does he.

It goes on for a long stretch of time until I hear someone from upstairs say, “Do you think they’re making out?”

Then another person says, “Was Griffith really a fucking virgin?”

I grin. He remains stoic.

Eventually, I look him in the eyes and quietly say, “I need control, Aiden. Not the illusion of it. Without control I…” I sniff back tears and feel my ducts burn from the weakness trying to escape me. “Sometimes I wish that the blade would have done what it was supposed to when I put it through my skin two years ago. We could have avoided all this…anger. Uncertainty. At least then I would have controlled my fate instead of letting it control me.”

His Adam’s apple bobs. “Don’t say that. It didn’t work because you weren’t meant to succumb to the demons. Not then. Not now. Especially not when you’re back in my life again.”

I try stopping my jaw from quivering, my bottom lip trembling as I force out, “You can’t stop the voices in my head, Aiden.”

His large palm cups my cheek, and without thinking, I lean into it. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t try, Ivy. The reason I finally decided to talk to you that day in Bea’s is because I was done waiting for you to. I didn’t want to leave knowing I didn’t even try to regain what we had. Let me help you. Let me try to do something.”

I close my eyes.

He releases a breath.

It’s completely silent upstairs.

Chapter Eighteen

Aiden

We wind up molded together as I wrap my arms around her as tightly as possible like I can suffocate the monsters that live in her mind. Her cheek rests against my drumming heartbeat, one of my hands cradling the back of her head. “How many times have you thought that?”

Her tone is throaty. “Too many.”

“Have you hurt yourself again?” I try keeping my tone even, but the hardness leaks through. Chaos has been fidgety lately, always tugging on her shirt sleeves, always running her fingers over the scars I know she hides. It’s made me nervous, like at any moment I’ll find blood on the sheets or stains on her clothing.

When she says nothing, my throat thickens with a need to know. “Have you hurt yourself again, Ivy? You need to tell