Corrupted: An Epic Dragons and Immortals Romantic Fantasy (Fallen Emrys Chronicles Book 1) by E.E. Everly (motivational books for men txt) 📕

I scoffed.

“I want you to heal,” he said. “Despite my inability to do so, I swear it! I believe you can.”

“How could we ever be the same? I have a smudge on my heart-center; you carry a cauldron of dark matter!”

Caedryn raked both his hands through his hair, pulling the strands back slowly, as if buying time, considering his next sentence. When he spoke, his words were forced—harsh—but purposeful. “I might have done horrible things.” His eyes flashed. His chest rose. “I might use my darkness and relish the strength the energy gives me, a strength you could never understand”—his final words fell out of a mouth contorted from the darkness inside him—“but even in all my deceit, I didn’t kill one hundred and eighty-nine people.”

I just stared at his cruel mouth as the meaning of his words became clear. One hundred and eighty-nine people? My heart exploded in my chest. I had killed one hundred and eighty-nine people.

In my rage, and horror, I didn’t hesitate. I lifted my arms and blasted Caedryn across the room. He smashed into a table and slammed his head on the top edge. My body throbbed. My face felt hardened and distorted with ferocity. I heard laughter. A masochistic, rasping cackle. The cad was laughing!

He rolled onto his side while clutching it. “You broke my bottom two ribs.”

I didn’t care. One hundred and eighty-nine people. My breathing became shallow. I stared at my hands. No. No. No. “How do you know how many?” I whispered as I sank to my knees. So much for a blank slate. Why did he throw this in my face? Hysterics overwhelmed me. I was no better than Caedryn. So many lives gone because of me. I dug my fingers into my chest, curling over my knees, as sobs overtook my shaking body.

“I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said any of it,” Caedryn said near my ear.

I choked. I gasped because of his nearness, but I didn’t look at him. “Why did you?”

“You’ve triggered something in me I can’t explain. This didn’t go well. This is not how I wanted our conversation to go. I can’t give words to what I’m feeling.”

I sniffed as I rubbed the tears from my cheeks with my palms. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to say either. “I told you to let me in.”

“I’m sorry. By the light, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. And I give you permission to blast me whenever you want. It’ll help you heal.”

I laughed through my sniffles. I glanced to the side between a crack in the fingers covering my face. Caedryn must have crawled over to me because he was lying on his stomach, with his hand extended, palm up. He’d buried his face in the carpet, with his other arm around his head.

I was as unbalanced as Caedryn. I should have gotten up and called out to Seren. Just ran to her and flown away. I had no idea where. My brain screamed all sorts of things I should have done.

But I huddled in my ball, with Caedryn waiting, reaching out to me.

I couldn’t help but think he was strategizing some perverse game. He’d ripped the reaction right from me, as if I’d played into his hand, although I didn’t know why.

This fiasco all started because I’d unearthed a hole in his heart-center.

Blackness that needed to be filled with light.

My blackness shrouded my heart.

His was a mass in a hole in his chest.

My hand twitched. One gesture would change everything. With one decision, I could forgive him. I was not bound by chains. I had free will.

He was hurting just as much as I was.

He deserved compassion.

Decide.

He’s waiting.

I clasped Caedryn’s hand.

He gripped mine in return.

In this moment, he’d won. But I let him.

“By the way,” he muttered as he looked up, smiling. “I do believe my head’s bleeding.”

FIFTY

I didn’t think I’d go to Caedryn’s room that night, but I also didn’t want to wait for him to howl, leaving me to run halfway across the keep in the dark. I hesitated. I could go to him. Stay with him. Like the other scandalous night.

What would Caedryn do if I walked into his room and slid into bed with him again? I wiggled my nose. Had we come to a conclusion with this afternoon’s argument? I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t tell if he wanted me around or if he wanted me gone.

I wanted to pull my hair out.

I stood in the corridor, debating which turn to make.

Right, and I would be safe in my chamber. I’d hear Caedryn scream his anguished cries, and I’d rush down the halls to his rescue and snap him out of his scourge. Or would I leave him to suffer?

Left, and I’d lie beside him, tucked around my pillow with my hand outstretched, waiting anxiously for him to touch it.

Where had that thought come from? My insides decompressed. The notion made sense as every part of my body sank into calm. I wanted him to touch me.

My thoughts were irrational.

One brush from his pinkie, and I knew it’d do me in.

For some reason, I couldn’t pass that up. I wanted to be undone by Caedryn. I wanted him to torment me. Reach out just enough to send electricity through the rest of my body. Shock my system until it rewired. Oh please. Yes. His maddening touch was what I needed. What I craved.

It might not be the best thing for me.

I wasn’t healed. Opening myself up for Caedryn to tease wasn’t doing me or Caedryn any favors.

It was destructive.

I looked at the hand that had grasped his earlier. One touch conveyed so much.

So much