Condition Evolution 3: A LitRPG / Gamelit Adventure by Kevin Sinclair (ereader with dictionary .txt) 📕

moments to get my words in order. Once the noise had died down, I continued. “What I want to say though, is that I’m so fucking proud of how you all handled yourselves. All that training and hard work you put in before today has really paid off. I don't think the Fystr knew what the hell to do with themselves. The combination of Torax, Veiletians and superhumans was truly amazing. I hope you all appreciate what everyone is bringing to the table. Everyone here today played their part in this victory.”

Again, cheers and applause went up. Different races patted each other on their backs, some even hugged. It looked as though team bonding was going well. That made me even prouder than the victory. Ember moved closer and took my hand, squeezing tightly. I was feeling a little more buoyed now and forged on. “I also want you all to remember that this was 40 Fystr, and they still made it bloody hard for us. We lost nearly as many people as they did today, and I can't stand losing a single person. So we need to keep training, because one day we’ll be faced with thousands of Fystr arrayed against us”.

“Millions,” Ember whispered behind me. What a knob.

“And I don’t want to lose so many in the future. Now, everyone! We're going back on the ships, and I’ll make sure we respectfully mourn everyone we’ve lost. I just needed you all to know how proud I am of all of you!”

A final, massive cheer went up again.

I couldn’t have been prouder. We took horrible losses, but it was still a glorious victory.

C19

Lovers Tiff

Once I walked away from the crowd my adrenaline must have fled me, because I went from feeling confident to feeling like a car wreck in seconds.

As soon as I arrived on the ship, I headed straight to the shower. It was becoming my go-to hiding place when I didn't want to talk to anyone, including Ember. It was about the only place on the ship where I might not be interrupted. I needed desperately to level myself out and get my thoughts in order. No matter what I did though, I kept replaying the moment that the remaining Fystr – the ones I'd ordered Hwista to kill – dropped to the floor in pools of gushing blood. No matter what anyone said, that blood was on my hands. Don’t get me wrong, I didn't think I'd made the wrong decision, but I still felt dirtier than a tramp’s underpants from ordering the deed. I seriously hoped I’d never have to do it again – but deep down, I knew the likelihood was that I’d be in a similar position someday. Then I thought that I’d rather do it myself than put that responsibility on anyone else. After about half-an-hour of such thoughts, I realized that I was going round in circles. It wasn’t helping me at all.

To escape, I went to my Cognition Room and began madly tackling the inventory. All the while the shower drummed into the back of my neck. Havok was uninvited, but showed up nonetheless. “Hey, Shaun. Would you like some music?”

“No, Havok. I’d like for you to fuck off so I can be alone.”

“What's wrong with you?” he asked, inquisitively. Though I reckoned he knew exactly why I was angry.

“You bloody well know, Havok! You killed Heiliun when I told you not to!”

“He needed to die, Shaun. I was happy to make that decision for you. You were too emotional, and I did tell you I'd protect you. Even from yourself.”

“You crossed a fucking line, Havok, and I’m not happy about it. The fact that you don't see that is making me question a few things about our relationship.”

“Well, tell me then Shaun. Explain what your problem is, because as I see it, all those Fystr are dead and would have been whether I was there or not. Only I made it easier and probably saved lives,” he said, almost smugly, and I wished he was a person so I could punch him.

“No Havok, you shithead! I make those calls. When I told the crew not to fire on those last few Fystr, they did it. I showed mercy, and they threw it in my face. But if I have no compassion, then I am no better than a Fystr. I lead people, and they don’t want to see me losing my shit, killing everyone without remorse. A lot of these people have lived under the oppressive rule of compassionless assholes. They expect something better from me.

“When you take control away from me like that, you make it look like I’ve no compassion. You affect how the people I’m leading see me and my choices. I can't have you do that! You’re either with me doing as I ask, or you're a fucking liability.”

“After everything I've done for you!” Havok said, indignantly.

“Yes, Havok. After everything you've done – and you've done a lot, no doubt about it. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. That doesn't mean I can have you making those calls for me. You were in my hands, and I said stop. You didn't stop.”

“You're not getting it, Shaun, what I did…”

“Get out, Havok. Now! I needed time to myself and you’ve interrupted that, again when I asked you not to. Just get out of my head. We’ll deal with this later when I’m not so emotionally charged.”

He left and I sighed. Now, I couldn't even concentrate on cleaning. I punched the shelves with all my force, and they crumpled. Then I moved back into my normal state, under the drumming pressure of the shower. A piercing headache in my temple made me curse the stupid act of aggression inside my own mind. That might not have been the cause, but it probably was.

When I came out of the shower, Ember was lying on the bed with her eyes