A Laird for All Time by Angeline Fortin (best motivational books for students .TXT) 📕

trying to drink himself into going through with it and had even taken the girls upstairs to have it done, but in the end he had known that Emmy was all he wanted.  He could use other women, but he would be deceiving himself as well as her.  He couldn’t go through with it even as drunk as he had been.

He loved her.  He wanted Emmy as wife and mate for all his days.  It was a terrifying truth that had taken him all these days to accept.  If he confessed it to her, she would hold his life in her hands.  She would have the power to destroy him because when she left him, it would not only mean a blow to his pride, but the devastation of his soul.

Chapter 31

Sunlight pierced his eyelids and forced Connor to reluctant consciousness.  Groaning, he covered his eyes with a forearm.  Pain unlike any he could remember lanced through his temples and his stomach rolled unpleasantly.  An inventory of other sensations reminded him that he was in his own bed at Duart after being supported by Ian through an excruciating trip from Craignure made longer by several necessary stops along the way.  Chilton had aided his brother in practically carrying Connor up the stairs before depositing him unceremoniously in bed.  Their mutual disapproval was obvious from the fact that they had left him in his clothes on top of the covers.

“You’re an idiot, you know?”

Connor peeked out from under his arm to find Emmy in the doorway with her arms crossed in disapproval.  My God, she looked lovely!  Her silk dressing gown clung to the curve of her hips and pulled tightly across her breasts above her folded arms.  How could he ever have imagined that anyone could provide equal substitute for her?  Words leaped to his lips but he swallowed them down.

That Connor was back safely brought Emmy a measure of relief, but a rise of irritation.  She wanted to pounce on him and demand to know what he had been thinking when he’d left.  For a full week she had wondered and worried.  Tormented by images of his bloody death.  And then she had been awoken the previous night to find Ian and Chilton hauling Connor into his room, had considered offering her aid until the tang of his state had assaulted her senses.  Drunk!  Totally shot.  Shit-faced, her college friends would have called it and they would have been right.  He had left her to go on a weeklong bender!  “What?  Nothing to say?”

“I apologize?”

“For what?” she tapped foot impatiently.  An apology was naught if it meant nothing to him.  Even more so if he didn’t know what she was angry about.

“I apologize for disappearing for so long without sending word.” Connor kept his voice low in pitch since each word pounded in his head for the effort of speaking at all but realizing that Emmy would not be put off.

“Apology accepted.  And?”

His mind scattered and grasped.  “I apologize for returning home in such a sorry state.  I drank excessively and did go to a brothel…” he admitted thinking Ian would have told her.  That her brows rose in shock told him that Ian had remained silent on that point.  “I did not sleep with another woman,” he clarified quickly.  “I admit that I had planned to but knew within moments of getting there that I could never do it.”

“Why not?” she asked her voice tight and cool to hide the pain his confession had brought.  The thought of him laying a mere finger on another woman made her stomach clench unpleasantly.  “You have no obligation to me.”

His eyes met hers for a long moment and spoke volumes.  “I do.”

Her heart soared at the look in his eyes and his simple confession.  But he couldn’t be forgiven that easily, could he?  Keeping her expression cool, she considered him before nodding.  “Very well, then.  Apology accepted.  And?”

And?  He grappled for the apology she was plainly searching for.  He could not think of what she wanted from him though he admitted that his mind was not functioning as efficiently as it might normally.  Connor thought it through as thoroughly as his physical state allowed.  Apology given and accepted for leaving and not sending word.  Likewise for the drunken state he had arrived in.  What else?  “I apologize…for…umm...” he trailed off.

“How about for all the heartache you have caused me and your family this past week?” she shot out as she crossed the room.  “For the hours of worrying and wondering whether you were dead or alive?”  She slapped his chest with each word that followed, “You. Scared.  The.  Shit.  Out.  Of.  Me!”

Connor stared at her in astonishment.  She was mad because he had made her worry?  Because she had feared for his safety?  It was humbling to realize that his actions could so affect the emotions of another person.  Another implication struck him then that Emmy wouldn’t have worried for him, and it had never occurred to him that she would do so, unless she cared for him.  To what extent he wasn’t sure, but that knowledge brought a warmth to him.  He grasped her hand before she could hit him again and cradled it against his chest.  “I apologize most sincerely for worrying ye.  I have never had anyone care when I left in the past.  It never occurred to me to send word or assurances to ye when no one has ever asked that of me before.  I have never had anyone worry for me before.”

Feeling the sincerity of his words, Emmy rose and went to the door.  “Apology accepted.  Don’t do it again.”

“Wait!” Connor called and moaned in pain pressing both palms against his temples.

Emmy returned to the door a moment later carrying two glasses, one of water, he thought, and the other a large glass of reddish liquid.  “Here, hold out your hand,” he did so and she placed two objects in his palm.  They