Elaine Viets & Victoria Laurie, Nancy Martin, Denise Swanson - Drop-Dead Blonde (v5.0) (pdf) by Unknown (howl and other poems .TXT) 📕

Ruby put up a second finger. ``Would she claim she was full after eating a package of airline peanuts?''

``Definitely.'' Frannie started to smile. ``I've seen Blair eat one M & M.''

``Three: Would she count carbs even at a health-food restaurant?''

``Thats one's tougher. We don't have health food in Scumble River.'' Frannie pursed her mouth, thinking.

``I'm pretty sure we can say yes,'' Skye contributed. ``It's the thought that counts.''

``Is her idea of a great conversation one that consists mainly of the words sit-ups, crunches, and treadmilling?'' Ruby went on.

``Absolutely.'' Frannie grinned. ``It's all she ever talks about.''

``And last, but most important, does she ever say, `I'm not hungry, I ate yesterday?' ''

Frannie was now beaming. ``Yes, yes, yes! I've heard her say that.''

Ruby nodded solemnly. ``Then I pronounce Miss Blair a skinny, evil witch. Do you think she'll want the T-shirt prize?''

Skye left Ruby and Frannie laughing and went back into the bar. She had missed the second round of the trivia game, but by some miracle Earl's team had made it into the DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 203 finals, and she watched as one of the opposition answered a question correctly.

Next Bunny turned to Earl, and, reading from an index card, asked, ``Name the four seasons.''

Earl scratched his crotch, then answered confidently, ``Salt, pepper, catsup, and . . .'' He chewed his thumbnail. ``Tabasco sauce.''

The audience roared, Skye cringed, and the rest of Team Three scowled.

Bunny went through another group of questions, and when she once again came to Earl, she announced, ``The teams are tied at seven points each. If Earl gets this correct, Team Three wins.'' She waited for silence, then read, ``Ac- cording to the Bible, what happened on Easter Sunday?''

Earl stuck his finger in his ear, dug for a while, then examined what he had mined. Finally he said, ``Jesus came back from the dead as a giant rabbit and hid eggs for all the good little kids.''

The spectators went wild with laughter, completely ignor- ing Bunny's attempts to quiet them. Both team captains were shouting that their team had won. Skye stood at the back wondering what to do. She was afraid the crowd would get violent if Bunny didn't regain control soon.

Suddenly, over the commotion, a fire alarm sounded, and seconds later Skye heard the sirens of a fire truck heading their way. Chapter 7

Blondes Are the Dark

Roots of All Evil The firefighters cleared the building, and while everyone stood around the parking lot trying to figure out what was going on, Bunny declared the trivia contest a tie and prom- ised that both teams would receive equal prizes.

After a half hour, most of the crowd drifted away, disap- pointed that there were no flames shooting out from the building's windows and no bodies plummeting from the roof. It was past ten on a worknight, and if there wasn't any blood and guts, they figured they might as well go home and catch the late-night news on TV, which could be counted on for at least one shot of a bleeding corpse.

By the time the fire department declared the bowling alley safe to reenter, there were only a handful of people remaining, and most of them had a good reason to be there.

Skye stood between Bunny and Simon, a position she found rather symbolic, since mother and son had been snip- ing at one another since Simon's arrival minutes after the firefighters had evacuated the place. They were all shiv- ering, since Bunny and Skye hadn't been allowed to go back into the building for their jackets, and Simon had left the funeral home in such a hurry he had forgotten to grab his overcoat.

Frannie, Ruby, and Earl Doozier were an odd threesome sitting on dilapidated lawn chairs that Earl had produced from the trunk of his ancient Buick Regal. Ruby's contribu- tion to the gathering was a silver flask, which she and Earl were passing back and forth while Frannie watched in fasci- nated silence. Skye kept an eye on the group to make sure

204 DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 205 Ruby and Earl didn't decide to include the teenager in their party.

Another trio consisted of Skye's parents and Charlie. Al- though Charlie's business was operating the motor court, his true avocation was running Scumble River. He held no public office, except that of school board president, but he was the big cheese in town. Between him and Skye's mother, thanks to her job as a police dispatcher, they knew everything that was worth knowing about the community, and some things that were probably better left secret.

Skye's parents had shown up to make sure she was safe after hearing the emergency call on their police scanner, and then withdrew to discuss the situation out of her ear- shot. Both were convinced that Skye was still a child and needed their help in all matters.

Charlie had heard about the fire the same way that May and Jed had, as had nearly everyone in town, since most people owned a scanner, finding it more amusing to listen to than most television shows. Scumble Riverites had dis- covered the allure of reality programming long before the TV executives started putting it on the air.

The remaining group hanging around consisted of males of a certain age who turned out to watch whenever there was a fire call. Skye recognized most of them, but a few were unfamiliar. She figured they were probably men who had been at the bowling alley when the alarm sounded.

Something glinted to Skye's right, and she squinted in that direction. A man stood off to the side, in the shadow of the shop next door. Could he be the person who wore the gorilla mask to tell jokes in the talent show the night before? He had the same build and posture,