Monster Hunter Bloodlines - eARC by Larry Correia (read a book .txt) 📕

cameras were in regular and thermal, which was especially handy for undead beings that didn’t radiate body heat. If something was moving with an unnaturally low body temp, that was a huge red flag. Since we were on much better working terms with the elves since Tanya had joined the company, there were protective and warning runes inscribed all over the property to alert us to any supernatural presence. There were armored shutters that would drop down over the doors and windows, and we had one concrete, fireproof panic room sufficient to contain a werewolf, that Shelly could take Ray into to wait for the cavalry, or until Mr. Trashbags digested whoever was bothering them. Did I mention he was kind of terrifying?

I let Shelly in. Like most of Skippy’s tribe she was shorter than average, squat, and wearing a mask to hide her features among humans. But even with the mask she was easy to pick out from the other orcs, because she had a really obvious lazy eye.

“Hey, Shelly.”

“Brother of Great War Chief,” she greeted me with a bow. Because even though I’d saved the world, to the orcs I was still basically chopped liver when compared to my brother, the former rock star.

Once inside, the orc girl took off her mask, revealing her tusks, snout, and pointy ears. Then she hung her coat on the rack. She had a hand-tooled leather gun belt around her waist, with a Super Blackhawk magnum revolver holstered on each side, and shells in little loops all the way around.

All orcs were born with gifts, where they were supernaturally good at one thing. Shelly’s was blasting stuff. The teenager could toss a handful of quarters in the air and draw and shoot them all before any hit the ground. She was to six-guns what Edward was to stabby things. Shelly was near the top of my list of people never to get into a gunfight with. I’d tested her when she’d applied for this job, and I could say without a doubt that she was like a one-orc Secret Service detail. Plus, Ray really liked her. As an orc she was too honor-bound to invite her boyfriend over to mess around like a human babysitter might, so she was basically perfect for the job.

Julie came in carrying a rifle case over each shoulder. Mr. Trashbags was squishing along at her heels. Ray was riding the shoggoth like he was a pony and giggled with delight when he saw Shelly. She was his favorite, probably second only to Mr. Trashbags. The blob gently lifted Ray with two tentacles, and Shelly took the happy toddler from him and immediately squished his chubby cheeks. She may have been a stone cold badass, but she really loved kids.

“Okay, we’re not going to be back until really late. We’ll set the perimeter alarms when we leave. There’s a meatloaf in the fridge for dinner. You’ll just need to warm it up.”

Shelly nodded along to Julie’s instructions. “Shelly will nourish junior war chief and bring great honor to tribe.”

“Of course you will.” Julie looked down at Mr. Trashbags. “Remember, Shelly is in charge.”

“Mr. Trashbags NANNY!”

“Wrong,” Shelly said, giving him one suspicious eye. The other eye was pointed at the wall. “Mr. Trashbags blob pet. Shelly the nanny.”

Mr. Trashbags gurgled a bit before agreeing. “Orc is nanny. Orc has opposing thumbs.”

Shelly looked down at her hands, suspicious about this revelation. I gave my son a hug, and then grabbed my gear bags and headed out the door with my wife before either of us could worry about the wisdom of once again leaving our progeny in the care of a gunslinging orc and a domesticated shoggoth.

Chapter 15

The compound was about as busy as I had ever seen it. It’s a rare opportunity for MHI to have a monster come to us, and even rarer to actually be able to schedule it in advance. The last time there had been this much excitement here was when Hood had dropped off a few truckloads of undead monstrosities. We’d learned a few things from that experience and invested in some improvements. This would be the first time we’d give them a real-life work out.

On the flight back from Georgia, Earl had put out the call for help. Everybody who wasn’t working an active case—as in monsters were going to eat somebody if we weren’t there—and who could get to Cazador before sundown, was on the way or already here. Luckily, we were between Newbie classes, so we wouldn’t have any untrained people getting underfoot. By the time the Drekavac arrived, we would probably have a few dozen experienced Hunters on hand, which is one hell of a welcome committee.

In addition, the orcs and the elves had agreed to help. Since the orc village was really close to the compound, it would be evacuated. Their noncombatants would be camped by the Shackleford estate. The elves were sending a few of their best trackers down from the Enchanted Forest to help.

Elves and orcs working together? Crazy, but true. If a historian—assuming he was cleared to know about the secret existence of monsters obviously—ever looked back on my life, he’d be forced to say that my greatest achievement had been helping broker a peace treaty between those two groups. And I’d saved the world and killed a god once. That’s how much orcs and elves usually despise each other. They had even worked together the whole siege without a single murder occurring. As much as I’d like to blame all this newfound peace and harmony on my brilliant diplomacy, in reality the current peace was the direct result of Princess Tanya being a bossy force of nature and her browbeating the rest of the elves into not being judgmental pricks. Meanwhile, Chief Skippy still didn’t trust the elves, but with his beloved brother and right-hand orc, Edward, hooking up with Tanya, he was kind of stuck. MHI was happy, because it meant we