Heaven's Net Is Wide by Lian Hearn (good books to read for 12 year olds .TXT) 📕

try again to overcome her fear and her coldness. He sometimes found himself wishing she would die and disappear from his life, and then he would be pierced by guilt and an uneasy pity for her.

“Or maybe you should take her with you,” Irie continued. “She has not yet made the formal return to her parents’ home, has she? This could be a good opportunity. And the freedom of traveling, the pleasures of the journey, may help bring on a child. I’ve seen it happen before.”

“I had been wondering whether to travel in state or to go in unmarked clothes with you and only a few attendants. If the purpose of my journey is to escort my wife home and to take Takeshi to Terayama, I can travel openly without unduly arousing Tohan suspicions.”

“We could arrange some suitable celebration and invite the Seishuu families to attend,” Irie suggested.

“Will they come?”

“If the right language is used, I believe they will.”

“And if Iida Sadamu hears of it, will he suspect we are plotting against him?”

“He believes that already,” Irie replied shortly.

“All the same, I think we should send messengers secretly,” Shigeru said. “Can it be done without it being generally known in Hagi? Do you have individuals you can trust?” He remembered an earlier conversation he had had with Irie. “I almost wish we could employ the Tribe.”

“There is no need for that. Many Hagi merchants trade with the Seishuu; there are many family ties. There are several lines that we can explore.”

“Of course!” Shigeru exclaimed. “My cousin, Otori Eijiro, is married to a woman from the Seishuu. He would make a good go-between. I’ll send messages to him as soon as we get home.”

SHIGERU’S MOTHER, Lady Otori, was as concerned as Lord Irie by her daughter-in-law’s failure to conceive a child, especially since the girl had been her choice, and she felt it her responsibility to turn her into a perfect wife and mother. Moe was losing her looks, growing thin and sallow, and Lady Otori feared that her obvious unhappiness would drive Shigeru further into the arms of Akane, who seemed to become more attractive and alluring every day. The tragedy of Hayato’s death had not, it seemed, tainted her with any scandal; people decided it proved her desirability and her devotion to Shigeru. The mercy shown to Hayato’s children was held to be the result of her compassionate intercession, and such fulfillment of obligations to a former lover was thoroughly approved. All this increased popularity infuriated Lady Otori. She feared above all that Akane would bear Shigeru’s child and that her son would acknowledge it-such a disaster had to be forestalled by Moe’s conceiving a legitimate heir.

She gave Moe advice on how to woo a husband, supplied her with illustrated books that depicted an interesting range and variety of techniques and positions, and had Chiyo come and take care of the young woman, remembering her own inability to bear live children and Chiyo’s solutions.

Moe looked at the pictures with repulsion, for they showed exactly what she was so afraid of: the uncomfortable and embarrassing positions, the taking, the intrusion. She feared the outcome, too, though she knew it was what everyone expected of her, the only thing they expected. She had a deep dread of childbirth and a premonition that she would die of it.

Chiyo had her own ideas of where the problem might lie. She saw in Moe a woman completely unawakened, unaware of the pleasure centers of her own body, too inhibited and too selfish to discover her husband’s. It distressed her personally on behalf of the young man she had raised from infancy, and she was also aware of the political implications, which could be disastrous for the whole clan.

She brewed a tea that had a very strong narcotic effect, both soporific and hallucinatory. She persuaded Moe to drink it, and when it had taken effect and the girl was almost asleep, thrust her fingers up between her legs and realized the hymen was still unbroken. Even in her drugged state, the touch was enough to arouse panic in Moe. Her muscles clenched and went rigid; she cried out in fear. “Don’t hurt me-oh please, don’t hurt me.”

Chiyo tried to calm her by stroking and caressing her, but there was no natural flow of wetness. She had thought to break the hymen herself, but the membrane seemed unusually resistant, and even the use of a smooth, oiled wooden phallus could not penetrate.

Moe had no clear memories afterward, just an obscure sense of violation and abuse. She began to believe that a demon had come in the night and lain with her, and her fears increased-that she had been unfaithful to her husband and would bear a goblin child as a result; everyone would see her shame. She trembled when Chiyo came near her and was reluctant to take food or drink prepared by her. Lady Otori despised Moe all the more and bullied her more, too.

It was with mixed feelings that Moe heard the news of Shigeru’s imminent return. She had enjoyed the respite of his absence, especially knowing that he was also absent from Akane, but she was deeply unhappy and was intelligent enough to realize that her only hope of happiness lay in a reconciliation with her husband.

Her mother-in-law swept into her room that evening with the same idea in mind.

“You must look your best for him. He will come straight to you. You must do whatever he wants, and above all, please him.”

Chiyo took Moe to the bathhouse and scrubbed her skin with bran; after the bath she rubbed lotions all over her body; the scent of jasmine filled Moe’s nostrils, making her head swim. Her hair was combed carefully and left loose so it fell around her. She was dressed in night robes of silk. The attention flattered her, and as she sat waiting for him, she felt for the first time a pleasant ache between her legs and a flutter of