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done making a life with her. Please, God.

Tears fall down my face, and I don’t give a shit what I look like. The love of my life is fighting for her life, and there’s nothing I can do but hold her hand.

Don’t let her die.

“Dad?” I look up to see one of Ally’s nurses standing above me. “It’s time.”

I nod, sniffing, and scrub my eyes so Ally won’t see any trace of my turmoil. My heart pounds as I follow her into the room and see Ally crying out. “Cam?” She asks through her clenched jaw.

“I’m here, Kiwi.” Those greens eyes peek up at me, an array of emotions reflecting back at me. She nods, swallowing a lump when her throat bobs and grips my hand.

I’m not sure what happens after. There’s coaching from the doctor, Ally squeezing my hand as she pushes, a nurse guiding her to breathe. It all happens in fast forward and all at once. I don’t know where to focus or what to do besides keep my hand in Ally’s and whisper loving words.

Before long, we hear a wailing sound, and I watch the doctor lift our son. He’s tiny in her hands, and I can’t help but choke up. I look at Ally, who is crying as well, and bend to kiss her swollen lips.

“I love you,” I murmur.

The doctor asks me if I want to cut the umbilical cord after they’ve allowed some time for what the doctor explained was umbilical cord milking. Something about keeping the blood flow from the mom to the baby a couple minutes after birth, so the baby receives all the nutrients it can.

I stare at my son as I clamp the umbilical cord, his small body staring at me. I wipe my eyes and smile.

“He’s going to be okay if I can help it,” the doctor promises.

I nod and thank her, going back to Ally as the medical team cares for our son in the room. They announce he weighs three pounds and is fourteen inches long, not too far from a full-term baby in that respect. I’m more concerned about his organs working properly.

“How do you feel?” I ask Ally.

“I’m still scared, but I’m relieved he was born okay.”

When the doctor explains that our son will be transferred to the neonatal intensive care unit, Ally and I both jump at her with questions. She assures us we’ll be able to visit him as soon as Ally recovers from giving birth.

“Walker James,” I whisper once Ally and I are alone in the room.

“What?” Her brows scrunch together as her head tips back to look at me. We were torn between Ryker and Walker, but after seeing him, Walker is perfect.

“Walker James, that’s his name.”

The smile that greets me is priceless. “Really?”

“Yes, babe.” I kiss her.

“Tell me about him. What does he look like?” I wish we were able to hold him, but I know he needs to be with the doctor and nurses right now.

“He’s small but strong. He’s beautiful.” Ally scoots over on the bed for me to join her as I continue telling her the little I was able to see and how damn proud I am of her. I’ve never witnessed anyone fight the way she did today, and I’m in awe.

When her breathing evens out, and her eyes close, I hold her to my chest and keep her safe. My promise to her and Walker, from this day forward, is to always keep them safe. It’s an honor to take on that role.

I look at the door when it opens and wave Charlene in. Careful not to wake Ally, I scoot off the bed and talk to her. Charlene’s eyes are marred with worry lines. I called her as soon as we arrived at the hospital, but she was in the middle of a class and drove over as soon as she finished.

“They’re okay,” I assure her. When her arms wrap around me, and she begins to cry, my heart breaks.

“Will they make it?” Her broken words punch me in the gut.

“Yes,” I promise her.

“I’ve been so worried. I came as soon as I could.” Charlene steps back to look at me. “How are you?”

“Scared. We have a long journey ahead of us. The baby will stay in the NICU for seven weeks to be monitored. If they feel he’s strong enough and ready to be discharged after those seven weeks, we can take him home with us.”

“He will be,” she assures me with a squeeze of my hand. “I see Ally’s sleeping.”

“Yeah, she fell asleep a few minutes ago.” I run a hand through my hair.

“Get some rest, too. I’ll bring you both something to eat in a bit.”

“You don’t have to—”

Charlene shakes her head. “I want to. My first grandchild was born today, under tense circumstances, and I’m going to take care of my family.”

I nod, giving her that much, and get back on the bed with Ally.

chapter 32

Allyson

I never knew how much my life would change after having a child. More so, having a premature baby. The last few weeks have been more stressful than I could’ve imagined. From the time my water broke until today, it’s all been a daze and a flurry of emotions.

Walker was tiny compared to what I imagined he’d look like, but he is getting stronger each day. I’ve been dealing with guilt—feeling at fault for his early birth. A psychologist in the hospital has been crucial in my healing. She’s assured me time and again that nothing that happened is my fault, but I should’ve been able to protect him from this.

Clearing my mind of those negative thoughts, I gently stroke the back of Walker’s head as he lies on my chest. We’ve been doing skin-to-skin contact starting a few days after he was born to help with our bonding. Both Camden and I have had the opportunity to hold him, and the feeling is inexplicable.

This isn’t how I

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