Perilously Fun Fiction: A Bundle by Pauline Jones (best fiction novels of all time .TXT) 📕

could read the other side. It said: “Marriages performed. Shoe shine extra.”

I had to read it several times, before it computed.

“No,” I said, then with more force, “no way!”

I looked at Kel. He grinned, his brows arched in hope.

“No,” I repeated, but even I could tell it sounded like yes.

Epilogue

One year later.

The pig, the howitzer, was still sitting on the slab of cement, only partly obscuring the wheel marks from my first, wild night with Kelvin Kapone with a K. Even if it had been brought here for a nefarious purpose, it was able to serve its ostensible purpose as a memorial to the National Guard unit, so they left it where it was—though they spiked the barrel soon after the “incident.”

I had an odd fascination with it that I couldn’t explain to myself, let alone anyone else. I didn’t come to the park as often because Dom asked for—and got—custody of Addison. I think Rosemary hoped I’d just say no but she had stolen my date, even if I no longer wanted him. Revenge is a dish, no matter what temperature it’s served.

When I did come to the park, I made sure I sat where I could see the pig. It’s not everyone who could claim a howitzer changed the course of their life.

I made my way to my usual bench and settled down, letting my pensive thoughts sift through everything that had happened over the last year, right up to my marriage by shoe shine guy. It had left my mother on the horns of a dilemma. While she understood the need for someone of my age to strike while the marriage iron was hot, it wasn’t possible for her to brag about it to her friends. It helped that no one was interested in my wedding, with Flynn and the pissed off Congress dominating any news cycles left over from scud studs.

And there was her wedding to Steve, Jerome’s dad, and Rosemary’s wedding to Mike, to make up for the deficiencies of ours. Kel asked me if it bothered me, but the only thing that bothered me about our wedding was interrupting our honeymoon so I could talk to the guy who wanted to animate Cochran.

He’s still working on it, by the way. It’s not as easy as he thought to animate a roach. I could have told him that, but the guy did mess with my honeymoon.

Kel gave up the spy business and started a security company. I gave up the band. Kel said he was over the whole kissing the guys thing but he still gets a bit weird when the guys cluster around after church. They do it less often now that they are all in college.

I still do Cochran books, but I also finished my romance novel and sold it. Some people were so wrong about my ability to be romantic. The ex-spy who loved me helped with the research. His attention to detail is impressive. I’m not sorry I signed on for the lifetime course.

The bench creaked as the ex-spy in question sat down next to me. I was glad we hadn’t stopped meeting like this. My shiver was not on account of the cold. The guy could still curl my toes with a look.

“I knew I’d find you here.” His arm slid around my shoulders and he tugged me into warm contact with him.

“Our mothers were packing for our first anniversary guilt trip. It seemed a good time to take a walk.” It helped that his mother couldn’t get over the way we got married either. They wanted us to renew our vows in church, but I was dragging my feet. I couldn’t remember if I’d told Kel that Reverend Hilliard asked me out, too. Whoever said Sunday was a day of rest hadn’t walked a mile in my shoes. I spent my Sundays keeping them as far apart as possible, helped by fact Mrs. M was firmly ensconced behind the organ. She didn’t like my flourishes by New Orleans any more than my mother did.

“Relieving past glory?”

He wasn’t too proud to admit that I helped solve the mystery of the pig in the park. How could I not be mad about the ex-spy?

“It was quite the adventure,” I said. And while our next adventure hadn’t started here, it had kind of begun here. Maybe that’s why I’d come today. I shifted so I could see his face.

“So, Kelvin Kapone with a K.” For a former grade school teacher who feared children almost as much as her mother, I felt strangely calm.

He looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and my insides dissolved just like they always did when he looked at me like that.

“What Isabel Kapone with a K?” He traced my lower lip with a chilly index finger.

His grip tightened, as if he was afraid I was about to bolt. It wasn’t something I could run away from, but he didn’t know that yet.

“So, you know how our mothers have been nagging us to start a family?”

He got this hopeful look. “I like trying to have a family.” He gave me lecherous look. “I like it a lot.”

“I had noticed,” I said, my own look far from demure. “It appears all your hard work has paid off.”

It took him sixty whole seconds to get it. His face lit up and he swept me up and spun me in a circle. Just like in the movies, only without the slow motion. When he set me on my feet again, he said with obvious male pride, “I’m going to be a dad.”

That’s when it hit me. I was going to be a “my mother.” My stomach dropped, like I was on a roller coaster. Before I could get a serious case of hyperventilation going, Kel wrapped both arms around me.

“You’ll be great,” he said, his lips against my cheek. As always he gave me delusions of competence. He turned me around,