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so they can figure out when the drug was taken. The cruise line is facing massive exposure if the drugs have been supplied on the boat. They’re freaking out. In a very laid-back, West Coast way, but still.”

β€œWow, they must be. How many people are on each cruise?”

β€œTwo hundred and fifty.”

β€œThat’s a lot of potential victims, sir.”

β€œA lot of potential lawsuits. So, you can see the source of the freak-out.”

β€œI can. Do you really think it’s being sold to the passengers by the crew?”

Logan shrugs. β€œI do. Without wanting to sound jaded, baby doll, about two-thirds of my cases turn out to be inside jobs.”

That’s depressing, but it doesn’t surprise me, human nature being what it is. β€œI guess you can’t just ask the crew if they supplied an illegal sex drug to the passengers?”

Logan snorts. β€œNo. And going over it today with the cruise people, there are a dozen ways on and off these ships. If a crew member’s bringing drugs on-board, they only have to find a one hole in security. If the security people are in on it, they wouldn’t even have to find a hole.”

β€œSo how do you find out whodunit, sir?”

β€œOld fashioned detecting.” He stretches. My muscles envy his stretch and I follow his example, pushing my toes down under the covers. That’s such a nice feeling, stretching in a cozy bed. β€œOr, in this case, a lot of interviews. I’ll keep comparing stories until I find the gaps. I don’t know anything about cruises, but I know about running a boat. It takes a schedule, sometimes a damn tight schedule. If the crew are selling drugs to passengers, there will be deviations from the schedule. People in places they shouldn’t be, when they shouldn’t be there. That’s what I’m looking for.”

β€œThat sounds hard to spot.”

Logan shrugs. β€œThat’s what I do, sweetheart.”

β€œCan I help?” I ask.

β€œSure. If you want to go over each day’s interviews with me at night, that’d be a big help. I often have my best insights while I’m talking things through with my partner.”

β€œI’d love that.” Then a thought strikes me that’s more likely to keep me awake than anything else he’s told me. β€œSir, when you say your partner, is that Manny or your old sub, Miranda?”

Logan’s lips tighten. β€œMir. Although I can call Manny if I need to. Why?”

I shrug. He clearly doesn’t want to talk about her. β€œI’m just wondering how I can help, you know, like she used to.”

β€œBaby doll, it doesn’t matter how she used to help. She’s not here. You are. If you’re comparing yourself to Miranda, stop.”

β€œI’m not.” At his lifted eyebrow, I amend that statement. β€œOkay, I am. It’s just that you were with her for a long time.”

β€œYeah, I was. And she was helpful sometimes. Other times she was a pain in my ass. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, baby doll, although I probably thought it was at the time.” He rubs his hand over his face. β€œHindsight’s twenty-twenty, isn’t it? When I look back now, I can’t see past the things she said which turned out not to be true. Or the things she didn’t say, which turned out to be truer than the things she did.”

β€œOh, sir.” I scoot close to the phone and cup it in my hands, wishing I were cupping his face. β€œI understand. I spent years remembering those things. The promises he made which were nothing but air. They haunted me for a long time. It doesn’t really get better, sir. But it gets dimmer.”

β€œDimmer?” He lifts an eyebrow.

β€œThat’s the best way I can describe it. It still hurts, if I let myself think about it. But I don’t think about it as often as I did, and the pain’s gotten distant. More like the memory of pain than pain itself.”

Logan takes a deep breath and blows it out. β€œDid you hate yourself for missing him?”

β€œYes. And I hated everyone who told me that I needed to move on. Easy for them to say. They didn’t waste five years of their life on him.”

β€œI don’t feel like I wasted five years.” He shifts and settles deeper into the pillows. β€œBut anyone who tells me I need to move on is risking a punch in the face.”

β€œI’ll never say that to you, sir,” I promise.

β€œYou won’t need to, baby doll. I want you to stop comparing yourself to her, or the other women I’ve topped, because there’s no comparison. I haven’t thought about her, or anyone else, since I’ve been with you. Topping you takes up all my headspace. Maybe that’s what’ll make it dimmer for me, huh? When the cruise doctor was boring me to death on the phone today, you know what I was doing?” When I shake my head, he continues, β€œI was writing out more ideas for scenes. Making lists of things I want to do with you, stuff I’ll need. I told you, I haven’t been this fired up in years, and that includes the time I was with Mir. This feels like a big new adventure, baby doll. Like when I first discovered kink. It’s that exciting for me. I know it’s not for you, but I hope you’ll catch a little of my fire—”

β€œOh, sir,” I protest. β€œThis is exciting for me. It’s so exciting, and I can’t wait to do all those scenes with you.”

β€œGood. Let’s focus on that, huh? What we’re going to do together, instead of what someone else did or would have done.”

β€œYes, sir.” I get it. He doesn’t walk to talk about his other subs or his past. His reasons are different than I’ve heard before, but the effect is the same.

β€œYou know, you haven’t called me Daddy once since I called.” Logan rubs his hand over his face. β€œIs everything okay, baby doll? Have I done something wrong?”

β€œOh, no! No, not at all.” I almost call him Daddy, but it feels forced, so I don’t. β€œI guess I’m just not feeling little tonight. Today was

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