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Every night when she closed her eyes, she told him, she saw Ivan. It killed him that he wasn’t there to comfort her; he almost sickly wished she’d have those nightmares again so he could be there, coo her back to sleep, hold her for security, make love to make her forget.
That she would see that criminal’s face, that he would be the first thing a woman like her thought about when she woke up, and the last thing in her mind when she went to sleep, enraged and obsessed him. It was unfair, and it made him angry to the point it pissed him off to even think it might be jealousy, even though he didn’t want it to be.
“You know what he’s after, right?” He swerved to the right and pushed the pedal, ramming the car deeper into traffic.
Her curls bounced as she shook her head. “After all this time? I don’t know.” Turning in her seat, she reached out and ran her hand over his arm—a touch, then gone. He felt it everywhere. In his chest, his stomach, his balls. He wanted to hold on to her, pull that hand back, put it everywhere at once. “Tell me,” she urged softly.
Cody laughed a dark, humorless laugh. Tell her? What? That he was a monster? That at night he imagined he rutted with her until they both passed out? That her most insignificant touch or smile aroused the socks off him … or that it was his fault?
There was so much she didn’t know.
How both Nordstroms had had crushes on her. How both would stare at her, fantasize about her. How Cody and Ivan had made a brother’s bet, that whoever took her virginity would keep her.
The next day, Cody had made a move, certain this was one bet he couldn’t bear to lose. He’d bragged to Ivan, “She’s agreed to go for a walk with me after school, so I’m going to win.”
And Ivan hadn’t liked it. “Yeah?” he’d said. “If you take something I love away from me, I’m going to take something you love away, too.”
Cody hadn’t listened, hadn’t cared about his brother’s threats. All he’d cared about was winning, winning her, making sure she would be his and not his brother’s. He’d been determined to claim her. Being a teenaged idiot, he’d had raging hormones twenty-four hours of the day and he’d planned to expend them all inside of her that afternoon during their picnic in the woods.
Never mind he hadn’t gone through with it, had changed his mind and led her back home to walk in on that nightmare of a scene. Never mind that after the murder he could never bring himself to touch her, take her, like he once dreamed of.
But they hadn’t, and now they never would. They weren’t minors anymore, but Megan Banks was more unreachable to him than ever.
If Cody touched Megan, it meant Ivan won. It meant that motherfucker knew Cody’s weakness and had made him go caveman on the one woman he cared about.
No. He’d never touch her. Ever.
Which was why his life sucked like blue balls.
If given a choice to be born again, in all likelihood Cody would say no just to keep his brother from coming into the world along with him. But then who would watch over Megan?
“Meg,” he said, softly. “He’s after you.”
FOUR
“Why are we here?”
Meg glanced around the abandoned front yard of what used to be the Nordstroms’ old home, her skin crawling as Cody kicked the front door open.
“Detour,” he said, and crooked his finger so that she followed.
At her refusal to be dumped at Zach and Paige’s home, Cody had driven all night, stopped by his office for paperwork, coffee at midnight, and in between errands, Meg had dozed on and off.
When she woke up it was 6:29 in the morning, the sun was beginning to light the empty streets, and they were back in a neighborhood her family had sworn never to return to.
Swallowing a lump of fear, Megan cautiously stepped inside, surveying the place in horror while Cody inspected the rotting wood beams above.
My God, it seemed like nothing could have ever thrived here. No evidence of life remained. The furniture was mostly gone, and what remained contained layers and layers of dust and maybe termites. The marble floor was cracked and uneven, making walking a hazard.
Assailed by a wave of pity as she remembered the once-cozy ambience of this household, Meg dragged her fingers over the dusty dining room table surface, then she recalled Ivan’s face across the table, young and predatory at sixteen and gazing at her as if she were lunch, and she yanked her hand back. “Are you looking for something in particular?” she asked Cody’s broad back.
“I always come here when I need to think.”
She didn’t imagine it; there was wistfulness in his tone, and it made her feel incredibly sad.
Standing here, while a truckful of memories threatened to burst through her walls of forgetfulness, Megan wondered how Cody could possibly bear it. Come here to “think” and at the same time, confront the horrors that had happened here. And it had been horrifying. Don’t think about it, she thought frantically as she felt herself grow faint.
But an image of Ivan standing over the bodies, bloodied and screaming as he continued hacking away at their flesh, flashed through her mind, and her blood froze in her veins. “You don’t think he would be here, too, would he?” she squeaked in sudden fear, rushing up to stand close to him. Suddenly she had the distinct sensation of being watched. The hair all along
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