Something Old by Rebecca Connolly (autobiographies to read txt) 📕

and associates he had known before once again had an influence on his time and attention?

The strains of the song began to sink deep within him, swirling about him as though on the brisk Cornwall breeze, drawing his attention back to the woman playing it, though he could not see her yet. The song was theirs, and so long as they had that, they would be reminded of this time together and the promises they had made.

Thomas reached the music room, leaning against the doorframe as he peered in, watching Lily play the most beautiful rendition of any song he had ever heard in his life. She poured feeling and heart into it, leaning into the instrument and the notes in a sort of performance she would never have given for company. There was no posture, no composure, no reticence, just a full-bodied performance of a song she could not keep her passion out of.

This was Lily stripped of artifice and walls, raw and untamed, the side of herself that so few people glimpsed in their lifetime. For others, she was all composure and decorum, without flaws or airs, an image of perfection in her own right that was incomparable. The nymph inside her, the wildflower on the moors that did not wilt or bend in the wind yet could be so easily overlooked, was the more perfect part of her in truth.

Still without flaw, in his eyes, and a joy to behold.

She was simply adorned today, her gown the exact color of a bluebell and faintly sprigged with floral lines, a shawl draped loosely about her arms and scooping down her back. Her hair was back to being bundled up in a London style, which pained him to no end, though she was still as beautiful as she ever was.

His fingers already itched to pluck out each one of the pins and let her glorious, luscious, mahogany hair cascade down her shoulders and back.

But he would not. He had his own tendencies that London brought out, and he already felt his reserve slipping back into its place within him.

It couldn’t be so with her. Would not be.

The music faded as the song ended, and Thomas found himself without words as he stared at his wife, her fingers gradually sliding from the keys.

“Is it time to leave?” Lily asked without looking over, somehow knowing he was there.

Thomas swallowed with some difficulty, nodding. “Yes.”

She nodded once, lowering her eyes to her lap. “I cannot bear it. I am afraid to leave this place, to return to anything familiar for us. Does that make me cowardly?”

“No,” Thomas insisted gently, pushing into the room and going to her. “No, sweetheart, I feel the same.” He stood behind her, stooping slightly to wrap his arms around her and press his lips to her hair. She reached up to grip his arms, pulling them tightly around her and leaning back against him.

“We could have always had this,” Lily whispered, the words seeming to catch in her throat. “It could have been like this from the beginning.”

A sharp fire lanced through his chest, filling him with guilt, though there had been no accusation in her words. He held her more tightly, feeling choked by an apology he ought to have given, a lifetime of apologies he ought to have lived.

“I am sorry I never told you how I felt,” she went on, still whispering as though their confessions should be kept secret. “I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to try. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Stop,” he pleaded against her hair, one of his hands sliding up to her cheek and stroking softly. “Please, stop. The fault is mine, my love. I cannot bear hearing you blame yourself. If I had been honest with you, had been true to myself, you’d never feel this way.”

Lily turned on the bench and took his face in her hands, drawing herself close. “I love you. I am not certain I have said so in the exact words, but I do. I love you.”

What a thing to say at such a moment!

Thomas felt his legs give way, and he moved to his knees, drawing his wife fully into his arms and cradling her against him. “Darling,” he breathed, his lips brushing her ear. “If I can promise you nothing else, I promise that I will never shut you out again. Never. I love you, and I will not lose what we have found here.”

She nodded against him, turning her face to press a gentle kiss against his neck, exhaling heavily. “Nor I.” She pushed back a little, cupping his face between her hands, her eyes searching his. “This is who we are. No one else. We must keep this.”

He nodded in her hold, humbled to his core and eager to agree to anything and everything she would say and suggest. “We will. We will.” He leaned forward to kiss her hard and found her emotion matching his.

There was no frenzy in this kiss, no rising passion to carry them away. They were sealing this moment with this kiss. Vowing beyond words what they would hold to. How they would be. Who they would be.

Lily broke the kiss, touching her brow to his and hummed very softly. “There. I am less afraid now.”

Thomas smiled, finding it incredible that he could do so, considering what lay before them. “As am I, my love.” Kissing her softly one more time, he pushed to his feet and took her hands. “Shall we be away to London, Mrs. Granger?”

She returned the smile, her eyes warm. “Yes, Mr. Granger, so long as we do so together.”

“Surely the journey to Cornwall was not as long as the journey back to London was. I think I have pains in parts of my body that don’t actually exist.”

Lily managed a smile, though it was strained, as she too felt pain at various points in her frame. “It did seem interminable, did it not?”

Thomas groaned as he sank into