Elaine Viets & Victoria Laurie, Nancy Martin, Denise Swanson - Drop-Dead Blonde (v5.0) (pdf) by Unknown (howl and other poems .TXT) 📕

``Forget it; he's just stalling,'' Charlie said to the women, and then hit the kidnapper on the side of the head with his open palm. ``Where's Ruby?''

Lance howled. ``Police brutality!''

Simon smiled darkly. ``Charlie's not a cop. And if you don't tell us where Ruby is, he'll beat it out of you.'' 240 Denise Swanson

Skye thought Simon was bluffing about Charlie's inclina- tion toward violence, but the kidnapper wasn't sure. He eyed the big man, whose fists were clenched and lips were drawn back in a snarl.

``Enough of this.'' Before Skye, Simon, or Charlie could react, Bunny grabbed Lance by his family jewels and twisted. ``Tell me what you did with Ruby, or the next time you sing in the church choir, you'll be a soprano.''

The man let out a shriek, then gasped as Bunny tightened her grasp. ``Vacant factory . . . edge of town . . . office . . . but she might already be gone.'' Bunny gasped, but did not release her grip on Lance's privates. ``What do you mean?''

``The guy who hired me was sending someone to pick up the old broad. I was supposed to stay behind and get the letters and ring.''

``She'd better still be there or you're going to spend the rest of your life as a eunuch.'' Bunny gave one more twist before letting go; then she wiped her hands on her dress and ordered, ``Charlie, you and Sonny Boy stay here with Lance. Skye, get the car.''

Skye hesitated, meeting Simon's eyes and asking, ``Isn't it time to call the police?''

Before he could answer, a female voice from the door- way said, ``Did you all throw a party and forget to invite me?''

``How did you get here?'' Lance squeaked, apparently still feeling the effect of Bunny's interrogation methods. Ruby shot him a dirty look and snapped, ``You better just shut up or I'll scalp you. You made me miss the Marilyn Monroe look-alike contest.''

Lance sneered. ``I'm such a better Marilyn than you any- way. You're too fat to do Marilyn the right way.''

Ruby huffed. ``I do the queen-size version, and I could have mopped the floor with you.''

Before he could retort, Bunny ran over and hugged her friend. ``Ruby! You're not dead.''

``The rumors of my death have been highly exaggerated.'' Ruby pried herself away from Bunny's soggy embrace. ``Why are you soaking wet?''

Everyone began to explain at the same time. Finally Skye managed to get the others to quiet down, and filled Ruby in on the evening's activities. She concluded with, ``What DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 241 ring and letters is he talking about? I thought he was after the disks.''

``So did I, at first.'' Ruby pulled out a chair and sat down. ``But it turns out the casino owners didn't send him. My

� fiance's son-in-law did.''

``Who?'' Bunny asked.

``Why?'' Skye got right to the point.

Charlie and Simon were silent, perplexed looks on both their faces.

Ruby stared pointedly at the bar. ``Someone make me a martini and I'll explain as much as I know.''

``Make mine a double and I'll fill in the rest.'' A tall, handsome man in his sixties stood framed in the doorway.

Ruby leaped out of her chair and threw herself into his arms. ``Darling, how did you get here?''

``When this dunderhead kidnapped you, he called my son- in-law to report that he had you. My daughter overheard her husband arranging to send someone to kill you, and she told me everything. I boarded the next plane to Chicago.''

Everyone tried to talk at once, and Skye thought she would need to resort to the hose for a second time that day. Instead, she put two fingers in her mouth and let out a piercing whistle. In the ensuing silence she said, ``Why don't we just let Mr. . . . ?''

``Masterson,'' Ruby supplied. ``Everyone, this is my fi-

� ance, Archie Masterson.''

Skye nodded and completed her sentence, ``. . . Mr. Mas- terson and Ruby tell us everything from the beginning.'' Skye turned to the blonde and directed, ``Ruby, you start from when Lance kidnapped you.''

``The kids at the Easter-egg hunt were so loud, and I had a horrible headache, so I decided to sit outside until it was

� all over.'' Ruby clung to her fiance. ``When the Easter Bunny came up to me, I thought it was Charlie, but then he pulled a gun and demanded I give him the ring and the letters. I refused and he tore the apartment apart. Luckily I had put the ring and most of the letters in my safe-deposit box before leaving Las Vegas. I managed to slam a lamp across his face, but he didn't drop the gun, and when he couldn't find what he wanted he forced me to go with him.''

``That explains the blood,'' Bunny murmured. ``We were worried it was yours.'' 242 Denise Swanson

``Nope. That sucker's nose bled like a stuck pig.''

``You almost broke it. If I'm too disfigured to do my act, I'm going to sue you.'' Lance whined until Bunny made a squeezing motion with her hand.

``Why did he want your ring, and what letters are you talking about?'' Skye asked, getting more and more con- fused. ``What act?''

``I'm able to solve the first part of the mystery.'' Archie smiled, displaying straight white teeth under a clipped gray mustache. ``When Ruby consented to be my bride, I gave her the Masterson diamond as an engagement ring. The letters are no doubt from me to Ruby declaring my love and intention to marry her.''

Skye was entranced with Archie's slight accent; it wasn't quite British, but what was it? She shook her head. She wasn't going to let his charm distract her from getting the whole story. ``And?''

Archie sighed. ``And when I told my daughter about my engagement to Ruby, and she