No Going Back by Casey Kelleher (bill gates books recommendations TXT) 📕

same age that I am now,’ Lucy said, noting her mother’s date of birth and death. Wondering once again how different her and her nan’s lives would be if her mother was still alive.

‘Nan. If you had the chance to find out what happened to her, to catch her killer, would you do it?’

Winnie narrowed her eyes then, a pained look across her face that Lucy took to mean she didn’t understand the question. Maybe it was futile even asking her, because she seemed so confused. Her words and thoughts so disjointed. But Lucy needed to say it. She needed to get this off her chest. Because even though she knew in her heart that she’d made the decision already, she’d never want her nan to think that she hadn’t consulted her first.

‘Would you want him brought to justice? Even if it dragged everything up again,’ Lucy said, not sure who she was trying to convince of the enormity of what she’d told Morgan that she was going to do. That she was really going to walk away from this. That she was really going to let it go.

Winnie held Lucy’s hand then. Gripping it tightly and looking her granddaughter dead in the eyes. ‘I’m not long for this world, Lucy,’ Winnie said, shaking her head sadly.

‘Nan, don’t say that,’ Lucy said, not even wanting to think for a second about a time when her nan wouldn’t be here either.

‘It’s true.’ Winnie waved her hand, dismissing her granddaughter. ‘Look at me, I’m an old lady who’s barely in charge of her own faculties any more. If you want to dig deeper, then you dig. If you want to let it be, then let it be. But you have to promise me something, Lucy. Whatever you decide to do, do it wholeheartedly. Because you are going to let this eat you up inside.’

Lucy nodded, knowing that her nan spoke the truth.

‘Whatever you do, you need to do it and then move on. It’s been twenty years now. It’s time.’

Wiping the tears that fell from her eyes, Lucy felt the emotion of her nan’s advice. This woman who, despite everything, in the midst of her illness, was still in there somewhere. Hiding away. And the times when Lucy really needed her, for short bursts of time, she was right there.

‘You’re right, Nan,’ Lucy said, already knowing deep down that she’d made the right decision. Despite the guilt of knowing that her mother’s murderer was still out there somewhere, that he’d never been brought to justice. Her nan was right. Twenty years was a lifetime. If she didn’t finally let it go, it wouldn’t just eat her up inside, it would devour her whole.

‘Nothing’s going to bring her back, is it?’ Lucy said, knowing that she couldn’t keep coming back to this point. If she kept doing this, she’d never get past it. It was time to lay it to rest. To move on.

‘Come here,’ Winnie said, taking Lucy in her arms and giving her a big hug.

Lucy relished the moment. Standing in her grandmother’s arms and breathing in the familiar smell of her musky perfume.

‘I love you, Nan!’

‘And I love you too, my Lucy-loo,’ Winnie said, before staring down at her daughter’s grave and blowing Jennifer a kiss.

‘Come on, Nan, let’s get going. Vivian’s over at the gate,’ Lucy said, stepping back from her nan and giving Vivian a wave, where she waited patiently at the gates to let them have their moment alone to pay their respects.

‘Are we going for tea and cake?’ Winnie said, excitedly then, remembering that Lucy had told her that they would.

‘We are indeed, Nan,’ Lucy said as they made their way back towards the entrance, and Vivian walked to meet them.

‘Lucy, darling! Winnie!’ Vivian said, taking it in turns to hug the two ladies. ‘Are you both ready to devour the best chocolate brownies in the whole of London?’ She knew that they were Winnie’s favourite. Vivian often brought her a few when she visited her at Treetops. ‘They do a lovely strawberry tart there too.’ Vivian winked, knowing that Winnie would more than likely pick a couple of cakes. And why not?

‘Goodbye, ladies,’ the caretaker from earlier said with a smile as they passed him.

‘You been making friends, Winnie?’ Vivian smirked, seeing the vague, amused look cross Lucy’s face.

‘You could say that!’ Lucy laughed. ‘She’s on top form today, Vivian! Thought he was her boyfriend.’

‘Ohh!’ Vivian shrieked playfully.

‘Oi! “She” is standing right here. And “she” can hear you,’ Winnie said tartly, as the two women exchanged a knowing look, recognising the fiery mood that Winnie was in, and another of her mischievous moods.

‘And I’ll have you know, he’s not my boyfriend. He’s the caretaker,’ Winnie said, mimicking Lucy’s voice and repeating word for word what her granddaughter had said to her.

Then turning to Vivian, Winnie shot the woman a cheeky wink.

‘And let me tell you, he can take care of me any day!’

‘Oh, Nan!’ Lucy said, rolling her eyes in despair and laughing again at her nan’s brazenness.

‘Oh, Winnie my love!’ Vivian roared with laughter then too. ‘I don’t think he’d be able to handle you, my darling!’

If you were gripped by No Going Back and are looking for another gritty read full of kickass women and twists that will make you gasp, why not try The Betrayed?

Buy now!

The Betrayed

Byrne Family trilogy Book 1

If you can’t trust your family, who can you trust?

Colleen Byrne is wife to one of the biggest faces on the streets of Soho, Jimmy Byrne.  He promised her the life of luxury, but behind the diamonds and fur coats is a dangerous world of violence and lies.  With her two children, Nancy and Daniel, Colleen is in too deep, bound to Jimmy forever.

TWENTY YEARS LATER

Nancy has grown into her father’s daughter, strong, calculated – and ruthless, while Colleen blots out the pain of her marriage any way she can. When Jimmy is found brutally murdered, Nancy is hell bent on finding