Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

“When?” I ask.

She cries and says, “We bumped into each other a couple of months before Sina came back home the first time. We ended up going out for a few drinks because you kept telling me you weren’t in it for the long haul Eli. Micah made me feel special. We started fooling around a few times and then we had an argument over Sina coming back for their family reunion. We weren’t sure about whatever that was going on between us. He didn’t want to hurt Sina, so he did the right thing and chose her. We went back to being strangers again. I started spending more time with you than I did before. I really fell for him Eli, I think he’s the man I was supposed to be with.”

I take a deep breath and ask “So what now?”

She wipes her face on her sleeves and says, “I’m going to keep him.” I must’ve looked shocked because she says, “I don’t know when I fell in love with him, but I did. And this baby is the only piece of him we all have left.”

I can’t even be fucking mad at her, because she wasn’t mine and the baby isn’t either so I ask her “Are you sure Becca? Because five months ago you said you didn’t want the baby.”

She starts crying again and says, “That was before Micah taught me about life. We already picked a name for our son, and we found a place for us.”

I shake my head and chuckle, “Leave it up to a Peterson to change your mind.”

She laughs quietly and says “Eli, I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just didn’t want you to hate me anymore.”

I lean in and kiss her on the head, pulling her in for a hug and say, “I never hated you Becca. But I’m happy for you. I’m sorry for your loss.”

She hugs me and says, “Thank you for everything Eli, you’ll make a great father one day.”

And I feel another pinch in my chest. I forgot that we aren’t alone so when I turn I expect everyone to be pissed off at the news. But instead, I find the opposite. I look back at Becca and ask, “Do they know?”

She gives me a sad smile and says “Yes, we told them before you guys got here this morning.”

I look at Mona and ask “You knew?”

She rolls her eyes and says, “Like Megan and Leila weren’t going to tell me.”

I look at Reese and he looks just as surprised as I am. “So everyone’s okay with this?” I ask. Miss Rita, Luka, Daniel and Megan look at me and they all nod in agreement. I look at Megan and ask her again, “Really?”

She gives me a sad smile and says “It’s what Micah would have wanted, and the baby is a part of us.”

I smile at her then I pull her in for a hug. “I’m proud of you.”

She starts crying and says “Why does it feel like we lost Sina the same time Micah passed?” I don’t know what to say so I just hold her as she cries. I don’t say anything because that’s how I feel. Empty.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Sina

I walk out of Micah’s room and all I feel is heaviness in my chest. When Daddy passed away my whole world felt like there was a hole in it with no air left in my lungs. A piece of me broke when Daddy died, but to lose Micah was like losing Daddy all over again. I’m not sure if I’m going into shock or if I’m just confused, but all I feel is lost and hurt. I’m more hurt that my own family didn’t think I was strong enough to handle anything. I’m hurt that of all things they kept from me they chose to keep my brother’s illness a secret. And it kills me that they didn’t trust me enough to tell me. I have never felt more alone before today. I’m so angry and hurt that I don’t even realize that I’ve walked out the building without Emma and Marino until I hear him calling my name.

“Babe” Marino says. I break down. Marino wraps his arms around my waist and he pulls me in. “Shh. I’m so sorry Sina. I’m so sorry” he whispers. And all I can do is hold on to him because he’s the last thread that’s holding me together right now. “I’m not going to tell you how to feel Babe, but you’re going to have to tell me what you want me to do,” he says.

“It hurts so fucking bad” I cry. He doesn’t let go of me but he’s holding me like he’s trying to keep everything bad away from me. I don’t let go of him because I feel safe with his arms around me. “Why didn’t they tell me Rino?” I whisper, trying to catch my breath. “How could they do this to me? I’m so angry at them” I snap. “I hate the way I’m feeling right now.”

“What are you feeling?” he asks.

I take a deep breath and say “ Hate. I’m feeling so much, and I don’t want to feel this way.”

He kisses my temple and whispers “You don’t hate them babe. I know right now that’s how you feel, but you have to talk to them.” I know he’s right, but right now I’m allowed to be angry at them. “I’m sure they had reasons why they didn’t tell you Sina. I don’t know what those reasons are, but the only way you’ll find out is if you talk to them” he says. He gently grabs my chin and lifts my head so he can see my face.  I try hiding my face because I know I look a mess, but he uses both of his hands to hold my face. “Don’t hide from me Sina. You’ll always be beautiful to me, even