Always Fraser by A. Steel (electronic reader .txt) 📕

been holding in break free. My chest hurts so much I feel like I could die from the pain. I never thought someone I loved so much could hurt me like this, especially not him. I sob into my pillow until I have nothing left.

My eyes are dry, and I stare at the ceiling in the dark. I should go and take a shower, wash the pain away like I normally do, but I can't.

His smell still lingers on me and in my sheets. I can't let that go, not yet. Even if he is a cold-hearted bastard who clearly never cared about me in the way I did him, I’ll just hang on to it for tonight. I hug my pillow into my chest tighter, and close my eyes, letting sleep take me away from the pain.

Chapter Twenty-One

Elena

It's been three weeks since Fraser walked out on me, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. Any work The Green Door boys need me to do comes through either Blake or their new office manager. We always said, right from the start, it won't affect our working relationship, and it won't as long as we don’t have to be in the same room together. If I never have to see him again, it will be too soon.

I still have no idea what he was talking about that night. It’s got something to do with his family but that's all I know. Guess it's not my problem now.

Except I can't stop thinking about him. Why is he so far under my skin that I’m still worried about him? Even after the way he treated me. That night he was acting so strange. I’ve never seen him like that before. At first, I was hurt, thinking I was the stupid one for thinking I could change him somehow and that he would settle down with me. I felt stupid for believing we were falling in love.

Now that I’ve had time to process, though, I know there's got to be more to all of this. Blake just keeps telling me to be patient and give Fraser time to deal with it. But what's he dealing with and why can't we just talk about it? I hate all the secrets and it sucks because I feel like I’m losing Blake too. They're just so close and he would never say a bad word about Fraser. No matter what he does, Blake always has an excuse to cover for him. I don't know what it is between the two of them. There's got to be more to their past than either of them let on.

I look up from my spot on the cash register to see Tristan and Luca walk into the café. Today has been nonstop busy so I’m taking orders and Indie’s just churning out coffees as fast as she can.

“Hey, guys, to what do we owe the pleasure? You don’t normally come in on a Saturday. Just after the usual?” I ask.

“Yeah, we were just in the area and thought we would drop in and see our favourite baristas. What are you ladies doing when you finish your shift today?” asks Tristan.

“Don’t know about Elly, but I’m free,” Indie calls out over my shoulder from her spot on the coffee machine.

“Sorry, guys, would have loved to, maybe another time. I’ve got a baby shower for my sister-in-law straight after this.”

“Sounds exciting!” Tristan teases.

“Yeah, I know! Just what I feel like doing with my Saturday, but Mum would kill me if I didn’t turn up, sorry.”

“Well, what about I give you my number and you and Indie work out when you're free, and the four of us can do something more fun then.” He writes their numbers down on a napkin and Indie puts it in her apron.

I hand them their drinks. “See you guys on Monday.”

“See you then, ladies,” Luca says with a wink as they walk out of the café.

“You're no fun, Elly,” Indie grumbles, throwing a marshmallow at me.

“Hey!” I turn and give her a filthy look. “What! I do have a shower this afternoon.”

“Yeah, I know, but you're never going to call them anyway, are you?”

“You don’t know that.” I pout.

“Fraser’s gone, Elly. I know you're sad it's over, but he was the one that ended it. I'm sure he’s out there having his own fun. We need a night out and those boys are fun. You know it would be a good night, we get on with them both so well. Do it for me, I need this,” she begs.

I roll my eyes at her dramatics. “You're probably right, but I’m just not ready, I'm sorry, Indie.”

Indie smiles at me sympathetically and goes back to cleaning the coffee machine. I think the crazy rush is finally over, thankfully. I just want to get out of here today. “I’m going to wipe the tables down.”

“No worries, chick.”

On top of Fraser leaving me out of the blue, I’m so stressed. I’m having trouble sleeping and stomaching food, neither of which has ever been a problem for me in the past. I usually love to eat. I’ve lost so much weight my clothes are all falling off me and I’m considering a shopping trip this week so I can get something that will fit.

It just feels like everything has got on top of me all at once with Dad being sick. It’s hard to see the man who has always been my family’s strength recovering from his surgery. Instead of being my big, strong dad, he still looks so thin and frail.

Mum’s still in total overkill mode. She's like an Energizer bunny running from work to doctors’ appointments with Dad, then cooking meals like a crazy woman. She has been delivering food to us for some reason. I think it's the only way she knows how to cope.

She literally hasn’t stopped since Dad collapsed that day. I’m getting worried that it's all going to hit her and she's going