Condemned by Christopher Renna (iphone ebook reader txt) π
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- Author: Christopher Renna
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"I know what I'm doing. You and I talked about it. I'm not making a mistake. You're one hundred percent behind me, remember?"
"Yeah. And I am. I'm just looking out for you."
"Okay. But don't make me nervous."
Jasmine laughed. "I'm sorry."
Glancing around the bathroom, Hailey sighed. "Where did I put my cardigan?"
"I think you left it on my desk."
In the bedroom, Hailey slipped on the purple knit cardigan and then grabbed her little pink purse. "I'll call you after, okay?"
"I'll be waiting," Jasmine sang.
Hailey kissed Jasmine on the cheek and then rushed out of the room, down the stairs, and outside to her car. Behind the wheel, she pressed the ignition, took a deep breath, and said to herself, "All right. Time to stop being a little girl."
Conner bounded down the porch steps and hurried to Hailey's car at the curb. Swinging the door open, he smiled. "Right on time. You know how to impress a guy."
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, goofball. Get in."
Buckled up and comfortable, he said, "All right. Take me out."
While she drove to Charlie's Diner, they talked about various topics unrelated to the incident at school or the interviews with Lou. It was nice to discuss other things for a change, like Jasmine's attempt to cook homemade soup for lunchβwhich she'd burnedβor Miguel's growing anxiety about joining Levi's family for Thanksgiving dinner.
At the diner, they said hello to several friends, and to Conner's surprise, no one avoided him. As they ate dinner, the small talk continued until Hailey introduced a more serious topic.
"Well," she said, setting her fork aside. "I wanted to talk to you about something."
"What's that?"
"Us."
That one word flared his nerves to life. Caught off guard, he was suddenly jittery. "Okay."
She looked from one side of the diner to the other. "Maybe this isn't the best place for this conversation."
He furrowed his brow. "Now I'm really curious."
"It's nothing bad," she said, leaning forward and setting her elbows on the table. "I think I owe you an apology."
"What? No, you don't. Why do you think you have to apologize to me for anything?"
"Because I realized that I was using you."
Conner chuckled. "What?"
"Yeah, I know. Sounds weird, huh? A lot of people, like my dad, probably assume that you were using me. And maybe you were butβ"
"No, I wasn't. Does it seem that way?"
She lifted her shoulders with a deep breath and then exhaled. "Just listen to me, okay? Let me say what I want to say, and then you can say whatever you want to say to me."
"All right." Intrigued by what he might hear, he relaxed his posture and fixed his eyes on hers. "Go ahead."
"The past year or so, I've wanted my parents to treat me more like an adult. But they continued to treat me like a little girl, especially my father. I guess I thought that rebelling against that might influence them to start treating me differently. So, that's why I've been doing things I normally wouldn't have done. Sneaking into Jared's house. Drinking beer. Being more sexual." She blushed and bowed her head. "I don't regret any of those things, but I realized that those things aren't going to make me feel more like a young woman. Those are just things that people do. Doing them won't change who I am." She returned her eyes to his and whispered, "I'm not ready to lose my virginity and start having sex all the time like most of our friends are doing."
He smiled broadly but tried to suppress any reaction that might be mistaken as mocking her. When she didn't continue speaking, he said, "Is that it? Can I talk now?"
She nodded.
"You don't have to apologize. I understand what you're saying. I can relate because sometimes I feel like I'm trying to impress my friends. You know, like drinking and sleeping with girls. So, I understand what you mean by things not changing who you really are. Trust me, I haven't really been the real me either."
She exhaled as if she'd been holding her breath. "Oh. Good. I was worried that you were going to be mad and think I was a bad person or something."
He laughed. "Not at all. I hope you don't think I've been a bad person. I mean, I was really interested in you and wasn't just playing around so I could sleep with you."
"If we'd had sex, I didn't think you'd avoid me the next day."
"No. I'm not like that."
"I know." She sipped her iced peach tea and then smiled. "So, we're still friends, right?"
"Of course. Nothing's changed. We'll always be friends."
Conner had to admit, he was relieved by Hailey's words. He no longer felt the pressure to be the Casanova with her. Apparently, there was no expectation on her part. But he'd convinced himself that there was. Plus, he'd tried to fulfill his friends' expectations of him. Peer pressure, he guessed. Yet he knew he'd also placed expectations upon himself. Now he was completely at ease and comfortable with Hailey. And himself. He was tired of putting on an act at school just so he could protect his image. He wanted to be who he truly was.
Something had shifted between the two. They enjoyed the rest of their night together more than they had enjoyed the beginning.
When she dropped him off at home, there was an awkward moment in the car. But she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, and they smiled, then said goodbye.
On the sidewalk, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and glanced about the neighborhood. As he was about to turn toward the house, a shadow on the neighbor's driveway caught his eye. He shuddered at the sight of the human-shaped darkness growing longer and bigger. Then he saw the neighbor's small terrier appear from behind the hedge, followed by Mr. Williams holding its leash. Relieved, he smiled and then walked to his house.
* * *
Alone, Trevor sat at the breakfast
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