Radley's Home for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (chromebook ebook reader TXT) 📕

of them all was that you had to be invited in. She and her mother had bypassed this little detail with the succubus —using some of Mike’s blood that she had found in the bushes had let them skip the magical barrier through a ritual that had taken hours to complete. Of course, that drop of blood was long gone, as was Sarah’s patience.

No, she would need to find another way in. She stepped out of the sedan, her dark robes billowing around her. Though they stood out in the bright morning light, they made her almost imperceptible to any humans who may be nearby. Unless she directly interacted with somebody, she would be dismissed as a passing shadow, or a homeless person, some non-entity not worth noting. With her dagger tucked into the back of her belt, and her wand strapped to her upper thigh, she was ready for action. However, there was still one thing left to do, the one thing she hated most of all.

Sarah was forced to wait.

BY THE TIME TINK ARRIVED in the kitchen, Mike was in full swing. He had cleaned up the front rooms and pulled sheets off of the furniture that had survived both Jenny and the fire elemental. Head tilted high, her nostrils flared as she sniffed at the aroma coming off the stove.

“What you make?” Tink climbed onto her chair. He’d set a place at the table for her. “Smells okay.”

“Omelets. One of the few things I can cook.” Mike flipped one in the pan, hot, melted cheese oozing out of the sides. “I haven’t made them in years, so I’m hoping they turn out okay.”

“Omelet.” Tink sounded the word out, nodding her approval. She waited patiently, her legs kicking back and forth, a full foot off the ground. “What happen last night? Tink have foggy dreams.”

“Succubus attack; nothing major.” Mike walked over to the table, frying pan in hand. He tilted the pan and used the spatula to push the omelet onto her plate. It left a gooey trail of cheese. “You wanna eat that before it cools.”

“What inside?” Tink peeled up the top layer with her fork.

“Just cheese. Maybe I will pick up some ham or something to put in it tomorrow.” Mike poured some eggs he had previously whisked into the pan. “Omelets are like the pizza of the breakfast world. You can put anything in them.” When he turned to wink at the goblin, he saw that she had already devoured what he had given her and was holding up her plate for more.

“Tink like. Cheese favorite part.”

“Shit. Give me a couple minutes.” He rolled his eyes and finished the omelet he had been making, then put extra cheese on it. “Later today I need you to be ready to hide. I ordered some groceries from Amazon again. A bunch of stuff to make some real food around here, plus some meat for the Mandragora. Think you can help me feed it?” He served Tink’s omelet onto her plate.

“Tink always help.” This time, Tink took her time, tearing bite-sized pieces off with her fork. Mike used the last of the eggs to make his own omelet and sat down next to her.

“After we feed the Mandragora, we can sit down and figure out how to get your goggles back.” Mike bit into his omelet and let out a sigh of contentment. A nice warm breakfast went a long way to ensuring that the day would go well. “How does that sound?”

He looked up to see Tink practically inhale the rest of her food. When she was done, the goblin threw herself out of her seat, then ran through the kitchen, and down the stairs. Seeing no need to rush, he took his time eating. She soon appeared with a map in her hands, which she unrolled on the table.

“Is that a map of the Labyrinth?” Mike asked, staring at the odd symbols that covered the old parchment.

“Most of it. Some places unchartable. Tink find map long ago. We use now to find where cow fuck sleeps, and then!” Tink slammed her fist into the palm of her other hand. “Knock out cow fuck, get goggles back!”

“I hope it’s that easy.” Mike stood up to look closer at the middle of the map. A swirling symbol had been drawn in the center of the labyrinth proper. “What’s this about?”

Before Tink could answer, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Not like he had a choice, honestly. Tink grabbed the map and quickly disappeared back into the basement with it. Mike whistled softly to himself, scanning the front room on his way through. True, half the furniture was busted up and out on the curb right now, but what was left looked really nice.

Mike opened the door. On the porch was a delivery girl, her hat pulled low over her face. She was holding several bags, with a couple more on the floor.

“May I come in?” she asked.

“You sure can.” Mike was kneeling to pick up the bags on the porch when he felt a cold sensation in his stomach. Without thinking, he threw himself to the side, catching just the flash of light off of a dagger. He jumped to his feet in time to avoid another slash which would have caught him in the face.

“Shit!” Mike lost his balance and fell on his butt.

The delivery girl ripped off her hat, and her clothes shimmered and transformed into long, black robes. Her dark hair was pulled away from her face, revealing eyes filled with anger. “Hold still!”

He recognized her now. It was Sarah, Elizabeth’s daughter. She ran at him, blade held high, only to stop when Cecilia appeared, arms outspread. Momentarily stunned, Sarah’s eyes narrowed, and then she slashed at the apparition.

The blade cut through Cecilia’s dress, and blood blossomed over the material. Cecilia grabbed at the wound with both hands, then slowly held them out in front of her face. Shocked, Cecilia stared at the blood