The Belle and the Beard by Kate Canterbary (good book club books .txt) 📕

She gave a sage nod. "It is but that doesn't make it right."

It was my turn to reply with the knowing nod. "It's hardly ever right."

She glanced away for a second, as if she was considering her next comment. "I know we barely know each other and you're experiencing many shifts in your life"—I snorted out a laugh at that—"so I hope it's not inappropriate for me to say I'm happy you're here. I'm happy you've come into Linden's life but ours too." She gestured across the table to Magnolia. "I hope we get to have many more days like this one."

"What she said," Magnolia added. "I hope we get more of this too. I already know that once these babies are born, I'm going to need some moments away from all the boys in my life, even if I am wildly obsessed with them."

"Yes, that. Even if you're wildly obsessed with someone, you need time away from them too. The past year has taught me that it's important to have friends outside of relationships, outside of grad school," Zelda said. "I love my grad school crew, they're great, we can talk for hours. But my life has many facets and the people I spend time with should be reflective of that. I can't throw myself all in one direction and still expect to feel whole."

I leaned a bit closer to her. "Could you say that again?"

"I just realized that I need to account for the dimensions in my life," she said. "When I started grad school last fall, I met all these wonderful people. Really, the best people. Though they're all about that one thing, and our relationships, even the best ones, are all about that one thing. I love that I have a community because I didn't know many people when school started and they helped me feel like I belonged somewhere—"

"And me. I helped," Magnolia said.

"That's what I'm getting at," Zelda said with a motion toward her future sister-in-law. "I had an amazing connection to Magnolia and Ash's family, who made me feel so welcome and loved. And then there were Magnolia's friends, who were like an extra special bonus of connection. I mean, Erin Walsh and Alex Emmerling are some of my favorite people in this entire city. I can't believe I get to know them."

"You'll meet them," Magnolia said to me. "You'll love Shannon Halsted and Lauren Halsted-Walsh. Andy Asani too."

I didn't know who any of these people were but I nodded, saying, "I can't wait."

"I had all these glorious people," Zelda continued, "and I had my school connections, who made me feel like part of the academic community. I'd missed that for years. But I know I can't let school or any one thing become my entire existence. School will end and I'll be forced to start over again because we all know that relationships formed around that one thing rarely last beyond those structures. I have a camp friend from forever ago but that's the exception, you know?"

I grabbed for my water goblet and took a long gulp because I knew all too well. "Yes. I do understand that."

"And it's always so awful when you realize people from work or school have moved on without you. That's why I know I have to stop stowing all my community eggs in one basket." She took a bite of her bread. "And, like I said, I'm happy you're here."

Because my life was a series of unforced errors, I said, "I hope I can stay."

"Why wouldn't you stay?" Magnolia asked.

The waiter was kind enough to arrive with our meals and save me from responding for a minute. When he left, I was met with two pairs of curious eyes, both ignoring their food in favor of my response. With a soft sigh, I said, "I'm still sorting out my next steps with work. It's all a bit…wonky at the moment."

While Zelda accepted this response with a sympathetic murmur, Magnolia pressed on. "But you want to stay here," she said.

I picked at my Cobb salad, pushing the croutons to one side and the tomatoes to another. "I hope I can," I repeated.

That was the truest thing I could say. Nothing was definite. Nothing was settled. It didn't matter how much I was beginning to enjoy the little life I'd cobbled together with my burly lumberbear and my DIY projects. It didn't matter that, sometimes, I wondered how I'd ever return to a world where my phone was an extension of my body and I woke up at five every morning only to discover I was already three hours behind on the day. I wondered how I'd go back to run-walking in heels as a matter of course and working weeks at a time without a full day off. And I wondered how I'd give up lazy evenings on Linden's sofa where he explained how, when filming The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, the textually male Riders of Rohan had to be played by women because they couldn't find enough men with adequate horseback riding skills.

"We're going to cheer you on," Zelda said. "Regardless of where the wind blows you."

"Yes. What she said." Magnolia wagged her fork at Zelda. "But you're still coming to the anniversary party, right?"

"I'm sure I will," I said, hoping that put the topic to rest without forcing me into a blood oath.

"We're shopping for dresses today. You have to come to the party," Magnolia insisted.

"Sweetie, Jasper is doing her best. She's going to be there if she can, okay?" Zelda turned her attention from Magnolia and grinned at me. "Don't worry about Mag. She gets a little chippy when she's hungry."

"I'd blame it on the twins but I've always been this way. The twins just make it socially acceptable." She reached into the basket of fries as she eyed us from across the table. "I was wrong. I got it all wrong."

"No, stop it.