Irresistible Bachelors: Books 1-5 by Landish, Lauren (bts books to read TXT) 📕

“Honey, I don’t do country. But I can start singing some Fifth Harmony and Mindy can start twerking for us. Remember your last birthday when you got drunk and they started Worth It? Oh, my God . . .”

Mindy places her hands on her hips and opens her mouth to berate her sister when the doors to the dining room swing open and Mary Jo appears in the doorway, clapping her hands and beaming at us all. “Dinner’s ready!”

We go into the dining room, where I see that Mary Jo has actually gone to the trouble of putting place cards out for everyone. While I help Mindy with her chair, a short, tubby man who smells like every nasty, old ass smoky bar in the world comes in, walking by me and spewing clouds of noxious odor behind him. “Sorry I’m late.”

Rita tries to hold back her disgust as Charles sits next to her, but I can understand. The man smells like he didn’t have one cig, but the whole damn pack. “Charles, if you don’t mind?”

“Piss off,” he growls, and I’m about to say something about being respectful, but I feel Mindy dig her fingernails into my thigh as she gives me a small shake of her head. I get it. I don’t know these people and it’s not my place, but it’s hard to watch the disrespect.

“So how long have you worked for Honda?” Grandma asks as we wait for the servers. “I didn’t know they have an office in town.”

“Oh, since I graduated school, and I have to commute,” I say quickly, keeping a smile on my face. Mindy gave me some details, but a lot of it I’m just making up on the fly. “It’s worth it though, small-town living and all that.”

“And how did you first meet?” John asks.

Mindy smiles and tries to take the lead. “Well, you guys have to listen to this. I was in the coffee shop, my hair all messed up. He walks in and says I’ve been—”

“Actually, I came into the coffee shop and was sitting down. Mindy started flirting with me, asking if I worked out. I was surprised by her boldness, but I liked it. I had to give her my number when she asked me for it.”

“That sounds like my Mindy,” Ivy Jo winks. “Forget the clothes—check out the biceps.”

“I don’t blame her. I’d have been offering free fraps and singing Call Me Maybe if I’d had the chance,” Roxy adds with a grin. “And I hate that song.”

“Now, now, Roxy,” Mary Jo says. “I think you’ve embarrassed your sister enough.”

“Just kidding, Mom,” Roxy says, obviously not apologetic. “But seriously, Oliver, you do look like you work out. I’ll play the guy here—so whatcha bench?”

“I really don’t know,” I reply. “I’m more into martial arts than lifting.”

“Really? You didn’t tell us you were dating Bruce Lee,” Roxy teases Mindy.

Beside me, I feel Mindy go stiff, and I don’t have to look to know she’s cutting me with her eyes. She reaches over and puts her hand on my thigh, giving me a fake smile, when there’s a commotion at the other end of the table.

“Jesus!” Ivy Jo squeals as we hear a yelp, and suddenly, Bertha goes running around the dining room in fear. “Mary Jo, you get that HEFFA on a leash or I’mma skin it and make me a coat! Or maybe a rug!”

“Bertha, you behave!” Mary Jo snaps, and Bertha runs out. She looks at me apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” I say easily. “You don’t like dogs, I take it?” I ask Ivy Jo.

She raises her nose to the ceiling. “I’m more of a cat lady myself.”

I chuckle. “My dog would never let me own a cat.”

“Oh, yeah, your golden retriever,” Mindy says. “What was his name?”

“Her name was Hershey, and she was a brown spaniel,” I say casually, chuckling as I look at Mary Jo. “What was it I said about her being forgetful?”

I don’t have to look in her direction to know Mindy is cutting her eyes at me again. But I ignore it, enjoying conversation with her family. Besides Charles, I think I like everyone in the room. They’re certainly not the cultured one-percenters you’d think of with a place like this, but they are real. And I’ll take real over a pedigree any day.

Everything is going fine and smooth when Mindy suddenly sets her napkin aside and gets up from the table. “Can I speak to you outside?” she asks, walking to the doorway and turning around to give me a look that says Now.

“Sorry,” I say, flashing a wink at everyone. “Relationship goals.”

There’s a polite chuckle from the group as I leave the table, following Mindy out the back door. We step onto the marble patio, and I take a second to admire the layout of the back garden. It’s beautiful, with a clear sky and the stars starting to come out in the purplish sky. It’s going to be amazing later.

Before I can comment on it, Mindy whirls on me, her voice barely contained. “What the hell are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” I ask innocently, trying not to laugh. Watching her upset like this is just glorious. “I’m being your fiancé.”

Mindy shakes her head, and I must admit she’s hot as hell when she’s pissed. Hotter than she normally is. “Don’t play dumb. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

I shrug, purposely still trying to piss her off. “I thought what you said was boring. Come up with better stuff next time.”

“Boring? Come up with better stuff?” She grabs me by the shirt, getting right in my face. Her eyes are sparkling with anger, and again I think, damn, she’s hot when she’s pissed off. I so need to make her mine.

“Listen here, you muscled up, arrogant bastard!” Mindy hisses, shaking me and snapping me back to her words, “You’re supposed to be here doing what I say, not