Jane Feather - Charade by Unknown (howl and other poems .TXT) 📕

"I am not prepared to play the part of shoemaker," Justin expostulated,horrified at the vivid picture Danielle was painting. "I will go alone,unremarked, with my ears open. I do not deny, my love, your ability toact any part you choose, or your ability to collect information, butthis is no expedition for the Countess of Linton. The last time yousailed on the

Black Gull

youwere hideously seasick and there is everyreason to suspect that you will be so again. Supposing you should bepregnant?"

"Je ne suis pas enceinte"

Danielle heard herself say before she hadtime for reflection.

"How can you know that?" her husband asked dismissively. "You are aslikely to be as not, and a

voyage on possibly rough seas followed by ajolting carriage ride and the deuce knows what other adventures . . .Danielle, you are a married lady and youmay not go adventuring."

Danielle turned away, placing her pearls carefully on the dresser. Shehad kept this one secret so far, but her husband was not as other men,not the sort of husband her

maman

had warned her about, the sort

ofhusband from whom one would need to protect oneself as Louise had doneand as Danielle had been doing. But she had not been protecting herselffrom Linton, merely from consequences that she felt she was not yetready to face. She had assumed that when she felt ready she wouldsimply cease her precautions and no one would be any the wiser. Butmaybe it was right that he should know. It would,

at the very least,disabuse him of ideas that she might need to take care of a prospectiveheir should she join him in his adventure.

"I know that I am not pregnant." Instinctively she sought the shelterof the deep armchair, tucking her

feet beneath her, but meeting hiseye. "I will tell you how I know, if you wish it. But I think, milord,that if you chose to divorce me you would find every court in the landsympathetic to your case."

Linton was capable only of a blank stare. His wife in camisole andpantalettes was a mere scrap of a figure curled in the big chair, buther personality filled the room and he had not the remotest idea ofwhat she spoke.

Danielle read the confusion in his eyes and drawing a deep breath, tookcharge. "You will hear me out, Justin. It is a complicated story and'twill be best if you don't interrupt." At his slight nod, she plaitedher fingers, frowning deeply.

"Ma mere a eu les difficultes . . .Pardon."

She excused herself. "Iwill tell it in English."

"It matters not. Use whichever language is most comfortable."

"I will speak yours, Justin. You will perhaps understand the nuancesbetter."

Justin, knowing that Danielle's idiomatic fluency in English exceededhis in French, bowed to her superior judgment.

"My mother had some considerable difficulty in bearing children. Therewere several stillborn babies before my birth."

Justin nodded and waited, still unsure what he was about to hear.

"After my. birth,

Maman

wastold that further pregnancies wouldendanger her life.

Mon pere

was also told this most forcibly, but hefelt that

Maman

was young,and with sufficient rest of six months or soshould be able to conceive again and produce the male heir." Daniellelooked directly at her husband.

"My free speech does not shock you?"

"It hasn't done so for quite some time," he replied dryly. "Praycontinue."

"After a 'sufficient time' my father forced his attentions on

Maman

. Ithink rape would be the correct word, although such a concept is notlegally accepted between man and wife." Her eyes were large, her wordscarefully measured, but Justin heard the unspoken challenge and had nodesire to pick up the glove.

"It became necessary for

Maman

to ensure that she did not againconceive, since she was unable to bar her husband from her bed. She haddone so once before, at knife point ... It was before I was born, butonce I was born it was impossible for her to use such a threat, youunderstand? When she had only her own life to consider. . ."

"I understand."

"Old Nurse had spent her early years as maidservant in a convent. Nunsare very skillful apothecaries, milord, and not nearly as innocent ofthe world as the world would like to think." Danielle's smile had acynical twist. "They make their own .. . mistakes . . . and if they areunable to prevent them, then they know how to conceal them."

Justin wondered if he was actually hearing any of this. He knewDanielle had had no conventional upbringing, knew that she hadknowledge and experience well beyond her years, but what she wastelling him now took him into a new realm.

"I have silenced you, I think."

"Almost. But I wish to hear the rest. You have not yet reached thepoint."

"No. I was explaining the background in the hopes that the point wouldbe blunted."

"Let me hear it without more ado."

"Very well. The nuns also used their skill and knowledge to aid thepeasant women who had neither the strength nor the financial resourcesto produce a child every nine months. They were able to abort apregnancy and also to prevent. Belledame taught my mother how toprevent and my mother taught me. Please . . ." she said as Justin stoodsuddenly, his face gray. "Let me finish."

He sat down again. "I have not told you before because, as I was taughtit, it is a woman's knowledge. I was sixteen when

Maman

and Belledameexplained the principle to me and explained that I had no need to be atthe mercy of my body when my husband took possession. They were nottalking, milord, of husbands such as yourself." She offered a tentativesmile that was not returned.

Against the odds, Danielle persevered. "I have not and do not yet feelready to be a mother. Belledame assured me that the precautions will inno wise affect my fertility . . ."

"Enough!" Justin sprang