Monsters by Matt Rogers (bill gates books to read TXT) 📕

five times street value. But the high wasn’t the same. I still felt hollow even at the peak. So after I came down I told my husband, told my son. Shared with them exactly what I’d been doing those last eight months. I knew they’d despise me for what I hid from them, but I wanted that. Wanted the anger channelled my way. I knew how to use it to motivate myself. I didn’t even think about touching it after that. I’m fifty days clean. Today.’

‘Is your family still around?’

‘Yes. I was prepared to let them walk away. But they didn’t.’

‘How’s your marriage?’

‘The best it’s been in a long time.’

Alexis couldn’t hide her smile. ‘I wrote you off. You should know that. I knew you’d self-implode. I was sure of it.’

‘I did. I went straight back to it, like you knew I would. But I guess everything that happened…I couldn’t get the memories out of my head. They changed things. It wasn’t a secret vice anymore. You knew what I was doing, and when I injected I pictured you watching over me. Like some twisted guardian angel.’

‘It was you,’ Alexis said. ‘Not me. You should be proud of yourself.’

Ava shook her head. ‘Doesn’t change what I said about your son. About your husband. Withdrawals or not…I crossed a line.’

‘Where’d it come from? There must be an origin.’

Ava took a breath. She was no superhuman, but she could control the inner turmoil better than when she was an addict. ‘I grew up in the Midwest. Me and my big sister and our parents in a small town in Arkansas. Dad was…ignorant. Let’s leave it at that. He hated what he didn’t understand, and there was so much he didn’t understand. He read ignorant opinions and watched ignorant news and joked with his ignorant friends. I’ve spent my whole adult life fighting against that conditioning. Making sure my son doesn’t so much as consider that stance. It hasn’t been easy. My sister was smart, went down to Louisiana and married a German as soon as she was old enough to. They had a kid when I was ten. I was stuck in the house with Dad for another ten. Got up and out of there at twenty, came here to Boston. Thought I’d left it all behind. But clearly it’s unconscious. Clearly it runs deep…’

She trailed off.

Ashamed.

She said, ‘I don’t expect you to believe me, but that’s not who I am anymore. It’s what I was trained and raised to think, but it’s not me. I think, when I was withdrawing, I fell back on instinct. There was no pause for rational thought, just pain and suffering and fear. I reverted to my base conditioning. I thought you could rub it all away, but clearly you can’t…’

Another lapse of silence.

Alexis said, ‘I believe you.’

‘Doesn’t make it right what I did.’

‘No. But it doesn’t mean you need to dwell on it. It happened, and it’s done. Focus on now. For example, you can tell me why I’m here.’

Ava hesitated. ‘What—?’

‘You didn’t ask to meet to update me on your life. What you’ve done is astounding but you could’ve told me over the phone. You need something.’

‘I—’

‘Just say it, Ava. Don’t start with, “I only need your advice” or “You don’t have to say yes.” Tell me exactly what the problem is.’

Ava exhaled, tapped her fingers restlessly against the table. The twitching was back. ‘I’m not good at this.’

‘You don’t need to be perfect. You only need to start.’

Ava closed her eyes for a beat.

When she opened them she said, ‘I told you about my older sister who married the German. They have a daughter. My niece, Mary. She’s thirty.’ A soft gulp. ‘I think her life is in danger.’

8

Alexis said, ‘You think it’s in danger?’

A waiter floated over to take orders but she shooed him away, craving privacy.

Ava clarified. ‘Her life is in danger.’

‘She’s in Boston?’

‘No. San Francisco. Silicon Valley.’

‘She works there?’

Ava nodded, distracted. ‘Listen, I think she needs to speak with an investigative journalist from another state. I don’t trust anyone from California right now. Something happened with a board member…I shouldn’t go into detail.’

Alexis hesitated. ‘Okay…?’

Ava sensed her confusion. ‘You told me your brother-in-law works at the Boston Globe. I figured there was no harm in trying to put her in touch.’

‘What?’

‘That’s what you said. Way back.’

Oh, Alexis thought. Right.

She recalled first confronting Ava in an alley after the woman had spewed racist vitriol about Tyrell in the school lot. She’d hit Ava in the mouth, then guaranteed her silence by inventing a story about a journalist brother-in-law who would publish details about Ava’s insults.

‘That was bullshit, Ava,’ she said. ‘I made it up to keep you quiet.’

‘Oh. I see.’

Alexis drummed two fingers back and forth on the wood.

Ava said, ‘I’m sorry. I never should have brought this up.’

‘Too late. Tell me everything you know.’

‘How do I know—?’

‘That you can trust me?’ Alexis finished. ‘Have a think, Ava. You’ll find the answer.’

Ava did think about it, and she nodded her approval. ‘Okay. So. My niece works for Vitality+. She’s their head of research and development. You know…Heidi Waters’ company.’

‘The Forbes woman?’ Alexis asked. She’d caught a news report the other day on the newest Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list. At the top of the pack was Heidi Waters, a twenty-nine year old CEO helming a multi-billion dollar start-up that was poised to revolutionise the caffeinated beverage industry. Alexis usually didn’t care for the news, but she couldn’t resist following along. She and Slater were suckers for coffee, after all.

‘That’s her,’ Ava said. ‘Mary’s been there since the beginning, the early days. Four years now. Mary was always brilliant. Her father’s an engineer, and he guided her toward a STEM degree from LSU. She got the gig with Heidi as a learning experience to get her foot in the door, at some tiny start-up no one had ever heard of. Obviously no one expected Vitality+ to do what it did. It’s