Him by Carey Heywood (reading strategies book .txt) 📕

I fiddle with the hem of my dress. Part of me feels like I'm trying too hard. Kyle hadn't even officially asked me out tonight since it was Jessica that set the whole thing up. I was probably reading too much into the whole thing, and he wasn’t even interested in me. I just had to hold out hope that someone could occupy the space within my brain where Will resided. Not where he was my friend. He would always be my best friend, but where I held all of my hopes and dreams that someday he would care for me more than just as a friend. I had to accept that wasn’t going to happen because, in almost the same breath of mentioning breaking up with Jessica, he threw out there that he liked another girl. That didn’t leave much hope for me that he would ever look at me differently.

We drive to Jessica's house first. It really makes no sense that Will picks me up before Jessica or even Kyle for that matter. They all live fairly close to one another. My house is the furthest from his. When he parks, I get out and move to the backseat before he honks. Jessica is all smiles for Will, but they disappear when she sees me. I bet she is wondering why he picked me up first as well. She leans over and kisses Will when she gets in the car. I turn to look out the window so I don’t see the kiss, but I still hear it.

After buckling her belt, she turns to me. "Hey, Sarah. I just love your dress." I doubt that, given her tone. "Where'd you get it?"

Great. Jessica and all of her friends all shop at Abercrombie and Nordstrom's. "Um, Target, I think."

I can see Will looking at me through his rearview mirror. When Jessica isn’t looking, I stick my tongue out at him and look out my window again. When we pull up to Kyle's house, I start to feel pretty nervous. I'm not even sure why he wants to go with me. Will honks, and we wait for him to come out. He doesn’t take long and jogs up to the car. He's not as tall as Will but still taller than me and boyishly cute with his blonde hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey, Sarah," he says getting in, flashing me a smile. He has really straight teeth. "You look really pretty."

I blush, glancing up to meet Will's eyes in the rearview mirror. He's chewing the side of his mouth. I look back at Kyle. "Thank you."

Jessica fiddles with Will's radio on the way to the Multiplex. She stops on a song I know he hates, and I almost giggle. This is going to be interesting. There is a small line to buy tickets. Kyle is standing really close to me. I'm not sure how I feel about it. When it's our turn to buy tickets, it gets awkward when Will tells Kyle he’s buying my ticket. Jessica just stands behind him, shooting daggers in my direction. I nervously play with my thumb ring. Kyle, trying to break the tension, asks me about it.

I look at Will. "I love it. Wear it every day."

He grins at me, though his smile fades a bit when Kyle buys me candy and an Icee. Will orders an extra-large popcorn that I know he'll share with me. When we get into the theater, I end up sitting between Will and Kyle. The seats have the kind of armrests that you can push up. My heart starts thumping when Will pushes the one between us up. Then I feel silly when he sets the popcorn there, whispering in my ear that Jessica hates popcorn in my ear. I'm an idiot, I think to myself. I have a kind of cute guy here for me, and all I can think about is how good Will smells and how his breath on my ear makes my pulse race.

There are a couple of times during the movie that we reach for popcorn at the same time. Each time, we look at each other and smile. He has the most beautiful smile. After we eat all of the popcorn, I wonder if he'll lower the armrest. He doesn’t, but he moves the now empty container to under his seat. When he sits back up, he rests his hand where the container was, his pinkie just barely touching my thigh. I look at him, but he just stares straight ahead. Will has to know he's touching me. It's barely the side of his finger, but to me it feels like a hot poker, radiating heat all around it.

I have absolutely no idea what is happening in the movie anymore. It is taking all of my willpower to not shift my leg closer to his hand. Maybe he doesn’t even know he's touching me. I don’t want to risk him moving his hand away. I just want to stay in this moment forever. I'm so preoccupied, I do not realize Kyle is putting his arm around me until Will's face snaps in my direction, and he glares at Kyle's hand. Does that mean? Could it mean? I feel like a horrible person. I have one guy’s arm around me, and all I'm thinking about is moving my leg closer to Will, who is sitting next to his girlfriend. Sure, he did say he was thinking about breaking up with her, but had he? No.

It is that thought that makes me finally move my leg, not to, but away from his hand. He looks down at my leg before picking his hand up and putting it in his lap. I should be relieved, but instead, I'm kicking myself for pulling away. There is a part of me that will do anything to be near him. Unfortunately, there is another part of me fighting that desire by reminding me just how pathetic it makes me.