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an ultrasound right now, but you’re on your way.”

I bit my lower lip and held back a tear. Of course, I’d always wanted to be a mother. I’d also always assumed that I’d become pregnant together with a husband. And Aiden was great. But I’d only known Aiden for a few weeks. And he had no idea about the pregnancy. We had only spent one night together.

Dr. Williamson went through a file of papers on his desk, then flipped through several forms of questions on his computer screen. “If you don’t mind, and of course this is totally optional, do you have the genetic history of the father?”

“Not right at this moment.” My voice cracked a little bit.

“Again, I’m sorry if I’m intruding, and you can always decline to answer. But do you know the father’s identity?”

I worked hard not to be offended by the question. Sure, a woman could have been impregnated by a hookup with a stranger. I had been impregnated by a hookup with — the UPS man. The UPS man whom I’d known for a little over a month. That didn’t feel great.

“Yeah, of course, I know the father’s identity.” I could be proud of something.

“Ok, his name please?” Dr. Williamson looked at me. He seemed ready to type the few letters by which I knew the man who’d impregnated me.

“Aiden. His name is Aiden.” I aced that question. I felt pretty good about myself. But I vaguely anticipated another question coming up, one I wouldn’t quite ace. At least I wouldn’t yet be able to ace.

“Alright. And his last name?” Dr. Williamson asked the question so routinely.

Aiden had mentioned his last name that first time he introduced himself as the UPS driver, but I hadn’t remembered it since then.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know — I’m sorry—” My voice definitely cracked. I felt as if I was being called a slut who let men with unknown last names impregnate me.

“It’s alright. I understand.” Dr. Williamson crossed out something on one of his forms. “So, Aiden won’t be involved as a parent?”

“I really don’t know,” I said, trying my hardest to remain polite.

I knew that the question was innocent. But how could I have known whether Aiden would be involved in raising the child? Aiden was a sweet enough guy, but he was only the UPS man I had met a few weeks before. Aiden didn’t even know that I was going to be a mother.

“I presume Aiden doesn’t know that you’re pregnant?”

“I only found out just now myself.” I gritted my teeth and shook my head.

“Ah, yeah, ok.” Dr. Williamson looked at the appointment details on his screen.

“Can we talk about something other than Aiden, please?”

“So, the father is not going to be involved—”

“Please, can we talk about something else, please? I don’t know yet whether he’s going to be involved, ok? I’m going to call him and ask. You don’t have to ask me a million questions about it, because I don’t know yet. I haven’t told Aiden yet. Is that ok?” I heard my own voice growing louder at the end of that statement. I hadn’t entirely meant to do that. But those were precisely the questions I didn’t want to think about until I’d at least discussed the pregnancy with Aiden.

“Yes. I’m sorry.” Dr. Williamson’s mouth tightened. “We just like to get these things — anyway, I’m sorry. You already have the schedule of your follow-up appointments here for your pregnancy. The next appointment is at noon this coming Friday. Is there anything else I can do for you, Eleanor?”

“Nothing else. Thanks.”

The doctor couldn’t call Aiden for me. That was the foremost thing that had to be done. Dr. Williamson also couldn’t ask Aiden to be a father for me. It was all my task.

I walked out of the doctor’s office into downtown New York’s chilly morning air. I could’ve turned left and gone to the library, but I was in no mood for it. I still wanted to talk to Aiden. I turned right for Starbucks. There was one down the street, slightly downhill. It would be a good place for me to make an important phone call. Or at least it would have to be a good place for me to make an important phone call. I hoped so, anyway.

Grande mint tea. That would warm me from the chill outside and the chill of trepidation I felt inside me. At least it would warm and comfort my throat before I’d have to talk with Aiden. I sank into the soft fabric chair, took out my phone, and breathed deeply. Aiden’s number was already saved in my phone. Only as Aiden, no last name. It took one click to dial.

Aiden answered through wind noise and traffic sounds. “Yeah, hello. I’m driving for work right now.”

“Aiden, have you ever thought about having children?”

“Can we have this conversation another time? I’m driving now.” UPS truck engine growl. Honking horns.

“But… do you want to be a father?”

“Haha. Comedian. No really, can we talk later, Eleanor?” A close-up honking horn. Aiden sighing.

“Aiden, really. I need to know —”

“Eleanor, are you high or something?” Aiden was almost yelling. “What the hell? I don’t put my dick in crazy. Can you call me back later when I’m not driving, and you’re not tripping?” I could picture Aiden shaking his head while driving his UPS truck.

I hung up. That was that. No reason to start my pregnancy with an argument with the person who I presumed was now my ex-lover. That one night together had qualified to make Aiden my ex-lover, didn’t it? If not, I didn’t even have an ex-lover to blame the pregnancy on. It would just have to be “some guy,” some guy who’d fucked me hard over the sofa on the library’s third floor and sent me on my way to single motherhood.

I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to deal with anything. My destination that morning was my bed. Once I

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