The Library (The Librarian of Alexandria Book 1) by Casey White (surface ebook reader .TXT) 📕

“Not in front of the others,” Owl said.  “Not in front of anyone.  I shouldn’t...I shouldn’t even have let you see.”

Damn it, he really shouldn’t have let anyone see.  He’d had the forethought to carefully excise the bottom of the sheet, the part with Jean’s name on it.  It had everything, after all.  First and last, her whole identity.  And if she’d happened across him back when he was a kid, then they must have lived close to each other.  Being able to track her would be the same as being able to track him.

But as Leon made a face, furrowing his brow and squirming in place on the bench, Owl realized that he didn’t care.  Not with Leon.  He needed someone, anyone to trust - and Leon was the best candidate he had.

So he waited, barely breathing, until Leon turned to fix his gaze on Owl’s.

“Well.”

Owl chuckled, shaking his head.  “Yeah.”

“Shit.”

“Yep.”

“I mean...at least she came clean about it,” Leon said, leaning back.  His fingers tightened against the paper.  “She wasn’t trying to lie to herself, I think.”

“Yeah,” Owl echoed.

Another silence fell.  Owl stared down into the pond.  Leon kept glancing down to the paper, then over to him, then back to the paper.

“Are you okay?” Leon said, finally.

Owl shrugged.  “I guess.”

Leon snorted.  “Really?  You sound all sorts of convincing, there.”

“It is what it is,” Owl said, his eyes still glued to the ripples of a ghostly fish.  “It happened.  It’s done.”

“But-”

“I was a kid,” Owl mumbled.  “That was...so long ago.  So many years.  Decades.  Centuries.”

He felt Leon go still beside him.  “How...How old are you, exactly?”  Leon jerked a moment later, shaking his head.  “I mean, I-I know you said things work differently, but-”

Owl lifted his head, then, grinning wryly.  “I don’t think it would be possible to count.  Alexandria doesn’t listen to me much.  It’s hard to keep track.”  He shrugged.  “Old.”

“Y-Yeah,” Leon said, with a nervous laugh.  “I guess.”  His shoulders relaxed, just a little.  “If it makes you feel better, I don’t really remember much from when I was that young.  And I’m not even living in some magical time-warping library.”

Owl nodded.  “Yeah.  That’s...That’s true.”  And it was true.  It didn’t matter that Jean had taken a few years of blurry childhood memories away from him.  He was here, in the Library, and that’s all there was to the matter.

Only, it wasn’t about logic.  It did matter, no matter what he told himself, and he hated that.

Leon must have felt him tense up again, because he sighed.  “She raised you, though, didn’t she?”  At Owl’s nod, he chuckled quietly.  “I think being confused and hurt is normal.  Stop whining and be sad for a little bit.”

“But-”

“You have all the time in the world.  So shut up and act like a normal human being for five minutes.”

“Fine,” Owl mumbled, slumping forward.  “It just feels...I don’t want to wallow.”

“You’re not-”

“I just wish I could ask her,” he whispered.  “I wish we could...just talk.  Once more.”  If they could have one more conversation...if he could talk to her as more than a child, as an adult and a librarian in his own right, then he could put the whole matter to rest.  He could settle things.

But she was gone, and he couldn’t, and if wishes were horses the Library would be a 24/7 stampede.

Leon shifted alongside him.  Slowly.  Cautiously.

Owl twitched as Leon’s arm slid across his shoulders, but didn’t pull away.

“It sucks,” Leon said, his voice quiet.  “Wish I could help.”

“I’m fine.”

“Whatever you say, Danny boy.”

“Daniel,” Owl mumbled.  “It’s Daniel.”

For a long moment, the only sound was the water and the wind.  And then- “Daniel,” Leon whispered.

It was a mistake.  Owl knew that.  Giving out even his first name would leave him open.  It was a weakness, a vulnerability to attack.  He should tell Leon to stop, or get Alexandria to wipe the memory from his mind like Jean had wiped him.

But he liked the way his name sounded.  He liked to hear it spoken.  And he liked to have a friend who’d say it.

So he nodded, keeping his quiet, and let the silence of the garden wrap in around them again.

* * * * *

The laughter was their first warning that their solitude was coming to an end.  Owl jumped at the sound, twisting to look back toward the entrance, and saw Leon thrust the journal page back at him.  He snagged it back, folding it hurriedly, and jammed it back into a pocket of his overcoat - right in time for James and Maya to come traipsing back through the archway.

Both of them were grinning.  Owl paused a moment, soaking it in.  If Alexandria could give them a space, maybe...maybe things weren’t so bad.  If he and the Library could let people be happy, then maybe that was good enough.

Leon’s arm dropped, and the man twitched away, as though realizing for the first time how close they’d been.  He stood, stretching.  Owl rose to follow, a little more unsteadily.

“Hey!” he heard Leon call, waving toward the others.  “About time you guys showed up.”

Maya’s grin grew - and James’ expression turned sullen as she hurried back toward Leon.  “This place is insane,” she said.  “Jesus.  And you’ve- you’ve been coming here all the time?”

“More nights than not,” Leon said.  “Pretty slick, right?”

“Jesus Christ,” Maya said, running her hands through her hair.  Her eyes flicked to Owl’s mask, and she paled again.  “O-Oh.  I mean...It’s nice.  Really nice.”

Owl winced.  She’d locked up again, eh?  Well...it’d take time to get her to settle in.  Even with James and Leon, it hadn’t happened instantly.  So there was no sense worrying if she was a little frigid at the-

“Hey, Maya,” Leon said, shoving his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans and leering forward at her.  “Wanna see a magic trick?”

“What?” she said, the nervousness vanishing from her face to be replaced by confusion.  “Leon, would you act like an adult for ten goddamn minutes?”

“I’m not kidding,” he