Blame it on the Tequila by Fiona Cole (the reading strategies book txt) 📕

walk down the red carpet, then I’d open myself up to the same scrutiny she gave me.

Maybe I should have accepted the makeup.

“Let’s go, bitches,” Ash announced. “Car is waiting.”

Too late now.

We piled into the back of the limo and opened the bottle of bourbon waiting for us.

Aspen poured us all a glass before holding hers up. “To winning a Grammy tonight.”

“To winning all fucking six Grammys,” Brogan corrected.

Managing a semblance of a smile, I clinked my glass with the guys’ and tossed it back. I should have been on cloud nine, just as pumped as the rest of my bandmates. For the first time ever, we were nominated for six Grammys. We’d only been nominated for our first one last year, and it had only been one. And with all the cheers and laughter around me, all I could think about was the empty spot beside me.

She was supposed to be here, holding my hand. She was always supposed to be here from the very beginning.

A ripple of quiet worked its way through the car until no one said a word, and I looked up, finding four sets of eyes look away as soon as I met them.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Oren answered, snapping back to life, shoving his phone in his pocket.

Everyone rustled, now avoiding looking at me. Brogan put his empty glass to his lips, and Aspen buried her face in her phone.

I looked to Ash, knowing if I pushed, he’d tell me what the fuck was going on. He gave the most forced smile I’d ever seen—more of a grimace than his usual smirk. Now, I really knew something was off.

“What?” I asked more forcefully.

Ash sighed.

“Don’t,” Oren pleaded.

“Fucking, what?” I almost roared.

“Nova posted to Instagram,” Ash explained, passing me his phone.

Just hearing her name hit me, knocking the wind from my chest. I looked at the outstretched phone like a bomb, knowing I would take it but hoping maybe I wouldn’t. Giving up, I snatched it and looked down. It was a Reel, so I hit play. It started with her from behind, her red hair loose and blowing in the soft breeze. Like I already knew, the mountains and valleys stretched beyond her. She looked like she was standing on the edge of the world.

A violin beat played as the camera backed up, and she took off running. It was then I noticed the harness and framing on either side of her. As soon as she reached the end of the bungee jumping platform, a video voice said run, and she turned in slow motion, striking a finger gun pose, smiling wide at the camera as a rock version of the violins played.

She shined with the sun behind her, her hair a fiery halo. Her face lit up with happiness, and I had the biggest clash of emotions—like two tidal waves slamming together. She was happy, and I was happy for her. I’d been worried she’d been harassed like me, despite not appearing in any reports, and here she was enjoying her life—without me. That realization pulled any joy plummeting to the pit of my stomach.

Nova was happy without me.

Fuck. I wanted to stop the car and get out right now. Fuck the Grammys, fuck all of this. Now, I wanted to run away and not look back. I’d imagined her hurting like me, and now this—this slap in the face.

“I’m glad she’s happy,” I managed, passing the phone back to Ash.

“She showed her face,” Brogan pointed out.

“I noticed.”

“She never shows her face,” Oren added.

“Well, good for fucking her,” I snapped.

They blinked at my outburst. For the first time in weeks, a flicker of anger emerged, but I knew it would be dashed by hurt all over again.

“Aspen,” Ash called. “When do we get another break?”

She flipped through her phone. “Not for a while. And the ones you do have are small and filled with promo.”

“Maybe we can find one of those promos for Parker to miss.”

“Why?” I asked.

“So you can go get her.”

“It won’t change anything,” I muttered.

He watched me—studied me until I wanted to squirm and demand he leave me the fuck alone.

“Then at least go for closure,” he said softly. “All the times she left, you never got to say goodbye.”

Just when I thought I’d experienced the lowest, something proved me wrong. Goodbye. The finality of it kicked the chair out from under me and left me flat on my back.

Fuck. Fuck.

I clutched my chest. I didn’t know how I would make it through the night.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit,” Oren said slowly. His eyes were as wide as his dropped jaw, glued to something outside as we pulled up to the event.

“What?” Brogan asked, shoving Oren out of the way.

Oren pushed him back and rolled down the window, which had Aspen slapping his arm and telling him to roll it back up. But it was too late, Oren leaned halfway out, his dropped jaw shifting to a wide-ass smile.

“Supernova,” he shouted. My heart jumped up into my throat, and I froze. “You beautiful, crazy-ass, bitch. Look at you, standing there like fire.”

“Ow, ow,” Brogan shouted, leaning behind him.

I sat frozen to my seat, wondering if each revelation was really a mirage of insanity and none of this was real.

“Dude,” Ash said, looking out the tinted windows from his seat. He slapped my shoulder and shook me, a real smile on his face.

The guys didn’t feel Nova’s loss like I did, but they did feel it. We were friends—a family, and she didn’t leave just me.

They all jumped at the chance to believe, and I didn’t know how it could be real.

“Parker!” Ash smacked my head. “Are you going to fucking sit there all night?”

Oren and Brogan scrambled out with Aspen gracefully behind them. Ash scooted down the bench seat toward the door and looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. I kind of thought I did. If I got out, and she wasn’t there, I’d crumble. Then I’d pick myself up, just