The Indebted Earl by Erica Vetsch (love letters to the dead TXT) 📕

ships traveling along the coast. The curtains were all open, and moonlight twinkled on the water. The sea was calm, as if the tempest earlier had never happened.

She wished she was as calm. He looked out over the ocean, and she studied his profile. How had she ever thought it severe or forbidding? She knew each line and angle, and she loved every one. The creases beside his eyes bespoke years of sunlight reflecting on water. The lips rarely smiled, but when they did it took years off his countenance. The set of the jaw said he was a man of strong convictions and able to lead.

He turned to her and took her hands. “Sophie, tonight your brother said something I recognized as very wise. He spoke of his regret that he wasn’t open with his wife early on in their relationship, and as a result, he felt they had wasted time with their lines snarled when they could have been sailing through calmer waters.” He twisted his mouth, as if rueful. “He didn’t put it in so many words, but you understand my meaning.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Sophie, there is something I must confess to you. Actually, two somethings, but they are two cords of the same rope. I don’t want you to feel badly. I understand you are a loyal person, and you have a right to your feelings.”

She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“I am making a snarl of this, aren’t I?” He shrugged. “Please bear with me.”

“A snarl of what?”

He closed his eyes, as if gathering himself. Fear trickled through her. Whatever it was, it must be momentous to affect him so.

“Sophie Wyvern, I love you. I have loved you for … months? Years?” He shook his head.

She blinked, and the blood rushed from her head, leaving dizziness behind. “What?”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was your letters. I fell in love with you through your letters to another man. I’m not proud of it. I can only beg your indulgence, because I never intended for such a thing to happen to me. I think I was more in love with the idea of you, because I would never have acted upon those feelings. You belonged to Rich heart and soul. I knew that then, and I know that now. I looked forward to the mail boat, and I hoped every time there would be a letter from you and that Rich would share something from it.” In the moonlight, his face darkened. He let go of one of her hands and reached behind him to his desk. He took something from a drawer, holding it in his fist.

“I’ve tried several times to return this to you, but I either lost my courage, or I was interrupted. But no interruptions this time. When I brought you Rich’s sea chest, I took something from it.” The look in his eyes was so remorseful, so tortured … He laid the object in her hand. “My only excuse is that I wanted something to remember you by. I had no right to it, and I apologize.” True to what he had told Thea, he looked her in the eyes when he made his confession.

She opened her palm. The miniature of herself lay there. She had noted it was missing from the sea chest and had assumed it lost or buried with him.

Charles had fallen in love with her through her letters, had taken a memento when he thought he would never see her again.

“You love me?” It was too much for which to hope, but she asked anyway. “The real me, not the letter me?”

His laugh was sad. “Sophie, I love you. The real you. The you who sees joy everywhere, who takes care of everyone around you as if they were the most important person in the world. The you who brings laughter and security to the girls the same way you do for Mamie. I love you more each day, which is why I have to leave Gateshead. I know you could never love me in return, but I wanted you to know my feelings. You agreed to this paper marriage and the things I offered you, and one of those was the ability to continue to love Rich without my resenting it. I know you love him still and that you always will. I know I could never take his place, and I would never try. He was a better man than I, and if it weren’t for me, he would be with you now. I’ll take command of the Dogged, and I’ll leave you in peace. I’ll require nothing of you but that you care for the girls when I’m away.”

He released her hand and turned back to the windows.

She studied his silhouette, the lean frame, the broad shoulders, the way he stood as if on the deck of a ship with his legs braced and his hands clasped behind his back.

“Charles?”

“You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t tell you in order to burden you. I just wanted you to know.” He sounded as if he were already preparing for his lonely future.

“Charles.” She spoke more sharply.

He turned. She pressed the miniature into his hand. “I’m giving this to you, to take with you aboard ship. But before you depart, there’s something I need to show you. Wait here, and do not move from this spot.” She ordered him about in the tone her mother used when she was adamant about something. “Not an inch.”

On light feet, Sophie sped down the hall to her room. He loved her. He loved her. Her captain loved her.

Is it possible, God? Have You taken the ashes of my mourning and turned them to something beautiful?

She went as fast as she could, imagining Charles’s misery, and she ran all the way back.

And she made certain the door was closed behind her when she reached the study. He’d followed orders and stood exactly where she