His Bonnie Bride by Hannah Howell (the beginning after the end read novel .TXT) 📕

"It means I understand. Recall the time Elaine was called to her father's side?"

"Aye. Oh," Storm breathed, "and my brother Tristram was born nine months later to Lady Mary."

"I nearly lost Elaine for that and could not understand. With a man's logic, I had not seen it as being unfaithful to use my wife. Elaine eventually listened and explained how she saw it. A whore in the village is naught but a convenience, an unknown vessel for relief much as a chamberpot, but my wife was one she knew and one who would do her utmost to see that Elaine ne'er forgot I had lain with her." He laughed softly. "Not that Elaine was very fond of me using some tuppence whore. An I think I cannot last another day, I ride to where Elaine is no matter how far. Saves a lot of trouble in the end."

Storm laughed softly. "I can hear by your voice that ye do not really understand. Aye, ye see how it can matter about what woman, but not truly about the other. Ye see it as naught, for ye do not give of the heart, soul or mind, only your body. 'Tis a simple easing of an ache. Would ye want Elaine to do the same, to seek an easing of an ache?"

"God's teeth, it ain't the same for a woman," he growled. "Elaine is my woman. No one else shall have her."

"Then 'tis strange that ye cannot understand how she can feel the same, that 'tis painful for her to think of ye in the arms of another e'en if only briefly and in callous use. She cannot see it fully as a meaningless thing, for 'tis not that way for her. Elaine sees only the pleasure ye give her and cannot bear to think of ye giving that to another while she lies alone. When ye return to her arms she must wonder whose breasts your lips have touched and whose curves your hands traced and did you find more satisfaction there than with her. Just as ye would wonder if she had lain with another. Ye would wonder when that man would try to take her, for surely she gave him the pleasure ye thought solely yours, and that mayhaps she would go, for he had found a way to pleasure her better. Mayhaps she was e'en comparing the two of you as you loved her."

Lord Eldon scowled at the back of his daughter's head. "A woman does not need as a man does."

"That is foolishness, Papa. If she enjoys the bedding, then why should she not miss it? Do ye think a woman's passions fade upon request? God alone knows I wish they could. Do ye think a woman has no memory, does not lie alone in her bed and remember, feeling her blood stir yet again only to know that ache that comes when there is no one there to cool it? Do ye not think that after so many nights of knowing that unfed hunger that a woman does not turn her eyes to another man and wish that her heart and mind would not question right and wrong and that she could just use him to fill some of that void? Ye want us to be on fire when ye are about, but ice when ye are not. Ye also expect us to suffer as ye do, but not complain when ye seek the relief ye deny us."

"Is that how you feel, princess?" he asked softly.

For a long time Storm did not reply, then said softly, "Aye, and I could kill him for that." She drew a deep, shaky breath. "Tell me, Papa, does the pain e'er fade?"

"Aye, it will fade, though you might still get a pang if you think on what might have been."

Storm thought that a mere pang would seem heaven next to the agony she now felt. Leaning against the strength of her father, she closed her eyes. She was so tired and she felt all torn up inside. The edge of her memories, which had begun to dull, would now be razor sharp again. She did not savor the bleeding that would cause.

Later, as Eldon lay in his bed, Elaine snuggled up in his arms, Storm's words echoed in his mind, stirring his curiosity as to the depth of their truth. "Elaine?"

"Mmmm?" She lifted her head from his chest to look at him. "I thought you were asleep."

"Nay." He brushed the hair from her face. "Answer me true, Elaine. Do not fear that I seek to judge. Storm said something on our return from Caraidland, and her words prey upon me. I need to know if 'tis really true."

"Then ask what you will, Roden. You will have naught but the truth from me."

"When I am not with you do you want me in the night? Do you feel a need for my loving and ache because 'tis not there? Do you hunger, and does it grow until you could bed another man, any man, just to ease the hunger if only your heart and mind would let you? Do you think on the loving and ache for it?"

"Aye," she replied quietly. "Did you think I would cease to want simply because you were gone from me? Aye, Roden, I ache, I burn and I hunger until I fear to go mad." She smiled a little when he enfolded her in his arms, holding her tightly. "I can judge how bad I have grown by where my eyes rest whene'er I see a man." She laughed with him, relieved that he saw the humor of her remark.

Eldon grew serious again. "When I return do you wonder whom my lips have tasted or my hands have touched? Do you think that I have found greater pleasure mayhaps with some other woman? E'en if you know 'tis but a whore and my use of her callous, does it hurt to think another has held