SICK HEART by Huss, JA (non fiction books to read .TXT) 📕

It takes most of them several years to come to terms with the truth. Just like it took me.

That’s why I make them all come out here until they are fourteen. If they make it that long.

By then, they are hard. They are serious. They understand the lessons they learn out here can save their lives if they apply them correctly.

Silence is golden. Someone said that, I just don’t know who. But I know it’s true because silence has gotten me out of some very dangerous situations with Udulf and his ilk.

Quiet. Shhhh. Don’t let them hear you. Speak with your hands, not your voice.

It’s the secret language of slaves. I didn’t know this until that night I accepted my fate. Udulf was angry because I would not talk. He was drunk on the Lectra and he was beating me, trying to make me tell him how I learned to speak with my hands.

But I didn’t know. So I couldn’t tell him. And I already knew that denying it wouldn’t get me far, so I just said nothing.

It stuck.

Udulf never learned the lesson of silence because some time later, after his drunken rage was long forgotten, he was the one who told me about the secret slave language. And that conversation was the first one where he confirmed that the girl with no voice who left me behind was real.

That was the night he told me she was dead too.

And all my hope died with her and my heart turned sick.

And now it’s all over.

Phase three on the Rock is history.

I look around the mat, on this last full day we will spend here out on the Rock as a group. I see that same sickness creeping into these kids too.

Budi has always gotten it. Someone told him early. Before he ever came to live with me.

Zoya, too. She’s only six, but I see no hope of rescue in her eyes. She gets it.

Jafari is the only other kid in my group who understands. I think that fight with Anya did it.

Of course, Irina, Peng, Paulo, and Maeko got it a long time ago. That’s why they’re still here. But the rest of them… I look at each one in turn as they sit, lining the perimeter of the mat, listening to Maart give them instructions for the final test. Nope. None of the others understand what’s happening just yet.

Evard doesn’t count because as far as he’s concerned, someone did rescue him. We rescued him. There will be no next fight in his future.

But that still leaves twelve kids who probably won’t make it to next year.

Anya is sitting next to Irina. They are best friends now. Maart took over Anya’s training for the past month. He treated her like shit every day on the mat. He yelled at her constantly. He corrected her relentlessly. And he made her sit out a lot because she was no match for the older kids.

But after dinner, he took her aside and made her train four extra hours each night. So she is actually a very good up-and-coming fighter right now.

I think he took her aside to keep me away from her.

And it worked.

Until now.

Because tonight I have other plans for Anya. I saved half a bottle of last month’s Lectra and I will drink it with her tonight. Fuck him.

Finally, Maart is done talking and he calls the first two kids onto the mat. He starts with my group and nothing that happens with them is much of a surprise until he makes Jafari fight Budi.

Budi kicks his ass. Quickly and efficiently. And we have to pause things so Maart can go sew up a cut on the side of Jafari’s eye.

Evard gets his ass handed to him too. By Rasha, of all people. Which makes me chuckle a little. Maybe rooming with Paulo did her some good because she has a new look in her eyes when she takes Evard down to the mat.

But things don’t really get interesting until it’s time for the teenagers to fight.

There are only so many combinations you can use with these four. And two have been done. Peng fights Irina. She is not an easy opponent, but he’s a big kid and has at least twenty pounds on her, so he wins in the end. This means that Maeko should be fighting Paulo, but Maart calls Anya to the mat with Paulo instead.

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. “Yet another ass-kicking for Anya. It’s not really fair.”

Rainer leans into my ear. “Shut up, you pussy. She made a big deal about being treated like an equal last test, so this is what she gets.”

“He’s doing this on purpose.”

“Yeah. He’s doing this to make her a better fighter and to cure Paulo of his fear of taking down girls.”

“No. He knows it’s our last night together. And he wants to make sure she’s too fucked up to enjoy it.”

Rainer almost guffaws at my statement. “Stop talking to me, you dumbass. Just watch the fight.”

So I do. And to my surprise, Anya’s got moves. Not amazing moves, like Paulo does. But she pulls off the same fancy capoeira move I used to take down Pavo all those months ago. She doesn’t land it the way I did, so Paulo isn’t knocked out. And he takes her down less than a minute later and almost breaks her arm, but still. I’m impressed.

And neither of her eyes are black. She has a bloody nose, but Paulo really does hate fighting girls so he mostly grapples when he has to fight them. Maart will berate him later for that and I’ll probably have to talk to him too—just to drive the point home that you do not ever go easy on the girls in this business. They will kill you the first chance they get in the real fights.

But I’m relieved he didn’t punch Anya in the face. She’s had more than